


The Last Resurrection 2 - New Beginnings

by TreeofStars



Series: The Last Resurrection [2]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Babies, Chaptered, Cylons, F/M, Love, Newborn Children, Post Episode: s04e19-e20 Daybreak, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Romance, Series, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeofStars/pseuds/TreeofStars
Summary: Post Daybreak. The continuing story of (Cylon!) Laura and Bill on Earth following her resurrection. Sequel to The Last Resurrection.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A chance meeting gives Bill and Laura something to think about.

“Laura?”  
  
Bill entered his old quarters, nodding to Laura’s security detail standing guard outside the hatch. Frankly, he didn’t like coming here and seeing their former home so empty. But after Cottle assured Laura that the tests he would be running on Bill were routine and would take some time, she’d bounded out of Galactica’s sick bay for a walk. And Bill knew just where he’d find her.  
  
Sure enough, he heard the water running in the shower. He chuckled to himself, entering the head. “What are you doing?”  
  
“What do you think I’m doing?”  
  
Bill pulled the shower curtain back slightly, smiling at the sight before him. Laura was washing her hair, eyes closed, humming a tune he did not recognize. He watched the water run down her body, a sight he realized he’d never enjoyed before.  
  
She cracked an eye open. “You’re letting the cold air in.”  
  
“Oh, sorry.” He pulled the curtain closed, and made a quick decision. Shutting the door to the head and locking it, he stripped off his clothes as fast as he could and stepped into the shower.  
  
“What do you think  _you’re_  doing?”  
  
“Seizing the opportunity.”  
  
She giggled at that, ducking her head under the spray to rinse her hair. Bill forced his eyes from her body to take in the few nearly empty bottles she had on the shelf. “You planned this.”  
  
Laura wiped the water from her eyes and smiled. “I’ve spent enough time in sick bay to know how long Cottle’s routine tests can take.”  
  
“Yeah?” he stepped closer to her, gripping her hips and pulling her body flush with his. “You didn’t want to sit with me and hold my hand? Be the nervous wife?”  
  
“No, and I don’t think you’d want that, either.”  
  
“No, I like the idea of you wet and naked instead.”  
  
“See? I’m in charge of patient morale.”  
  
“I’m not a patient. I’m perfectly healthy.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“You do? Did Cottle beat me up here to tell you that?”  
  
“Yes, as a matter of fact he did. He washed my back while he filled me in.”  
  
Bill leaned in and caught her lips with his own, kissing her hard. She moaned into his mouth, running her hands through his hair. “We’ve never done this,” he whispered between kisses, angling her toward the wall.  
  
“Uh-uh…”  
  
“Let’s remedy that, shall we?”  
  
“Mm hmm…”  
  
He chuckled into her mouth as he kissed her, pinning her against the cold tile. “We’ll have to be careful. I’m not a young man.”  
  
“I have faith in you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the water beating down on them.  
  
Bill kissed his way down her body, licking up the drops of water as they fell on her skin. “No one uses the hot water, not like they used to.” His tongue swirled around her bellybutton.  “I’d say we have enough for at least thirty minutes, maybe more.”  
  
“You gonna frak me for thirty minutes?” She teased.  
  
“No. But I have time to do this.” His mouth went from her thigh to her clit, and she moaned loudly, her hands weaving into his hair. A trail of water ran down her stomach to where his mouth was firmly planted, and he licked and sucked in earnest, thanking the Gods she had actually let him shave her as he’d offered. She wasn’t completely bare, neither of them had wanted that after the Diloxan, but it was trim enough to allow the water to run freely to his tongue. It was sweet and warm, and Bill wanted to drink from her forever. It wasn’t long after her thighs began to shake that he felt her tug at him, pleading for him to enter her,  _now, he had to hurry, quick, before she came_ ; and he was up and inside her faster than he thought possible at his age. Two thrusts and she shattered around him with a gasp, her fingers digging into his shoulders. He’d have marks there, he could feel it. The thought thrilled him, and he thrust harder, the tile at her back solid and unforgiving, and therefore providing him with new sensations to feel. His own end was coming quickly. He looked at Laura, her mouth half open, gasping softly with each thrust; he knew that, even though he could not hear her over the spray. Her eyes fluttered in time with his movements within her, her wet hair in tendrils against the tile, and he was coming, hard and fast, and so very deep within her that he had the fleeting romantic notion that he might never find his way out again- and that was okay, because this was heaven – perfect, warm, safe, home.  
  
  
*****  
  
After, he watched her dress as he leaned against the sink to put his shoes on. After they’d made love, she’d washed him from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. It made her happy, she’d said, to care for him in that way. And so he’d let her, even let her dry him with the one thin towel she’d brought with her. When he was completely dry, she finger-combed his hair into place and kissed him. He could dress himself, she’d said with a laugh.  
  
As she buttoned her pants he reached for her, turning her back to him and gathering her hair at her neck. He expertly divided the long red mass into three sections just as she’d taught him, and began to braid. He made one or two mistakes, but as he surveyed his work, he realized he wasn’t too bad at this particular skill. He released her with a kiss to the top of her head.  
  
Laura tossed a smile over her shoulder and gathered their damp towel and the nearly empty toiletry bottles, placing them into her bag.  
  
“Home, Admiral?”  
  
“Home,” he nodded.  
  
  
*****  
  
It was dark as the small group left Galactica for the cabin. Bill and Laura had been joined by four of her guards on the excursion, and they walked in a circle formation around the couple. Truthfully, if someone wanted to hide in the bush with a gun, there wasn’t much her security detail could do. Laura knew this, and accepted it. Her life came with risks, and worrying about them wouldn’t help matters.  
  
Not far from Galactica, the two guards in front of them, Parker and Sullivan, suddenly drew up short, causing Bill and Laura to walk into them. Sullivan raised a hand to his right, and Laura noticed a small woman not too far from the group. “Stay where you are,” Sullivan ordered.  
  
The woman ignored him, walking closer like a moth to a flame. “Madame President?”  
  
Laura could see, as the woman approached, that she was older. Much older. Quite frail. She carried no weapons; in fact, all she had on her person was a thin gown that did nothing to protect her body from the slight chill in the evening air. Laura jumped at the sound of her guards cocking their guns and aiming at the woman.  
  
“No.” Laura placed a hand on Parker’s shoulder, her voice steady and calm.  
  
“Is it you?” The woman asked, squinting in the moonlight.  
  
“Yes, it’s me,” Laura replied, stepping closer. Bill grabbed her arm, and she turned to him with a reassuring smile. “It’s okay, Bill.” She knew what he was thinking. It could very well be an ambush. But the part of her that refused to live in fear spoke loudly, and she turned her attention to the woman once more.  
  
“I had to see you for myself. People said you were returned to us. But I needed to know for sure.”  
  
Laura didn’t know how to respond. Did this woman not know she was a Cylon? Did she think Laura was still the dying leader? That somehow the Gods had seen fit to return her to her people? “What’s your name?” she asked.  
  
“Hanna. Hanna August.”  
  
“It’s good to meet you, Ms. August.”  
  
“It’s a miracle, you know. You being here. What does it mean?”  
  
Laura faltered in her reply. “I-I’m not sure what it means.” She wanted to add that it quite possibly meant nothing, but that would’ve been cruel.  
  
“I don’t believe the prophecies foretold the dying leader returning to the people. Perhaps the Gods saw fit to reward you for your suffering and good work.”  
  
Laura nodded hesitatingly. “Perhaps.”  
  
“What will you do now? Will you return to your role as leader? In the official manner, I mean.”  
  
“Oh. Well. That really isn’t up to me.”  
  
“That’s true. But there are other ways to lead, Madame President. I’m sure you’ll find your path.”  
  
Laura smiled. “I hope so.”  
  
“Well, it’s right chilly out here. You should run along home now.”  
  
Laura nodded and smiled as a breeze ruffled the woman’s gown. Without thinking, she removed her jacket and placed it around Hanna’s shoulders. “Same goes for you.”  
  
Hanna looked at Laura with a mixture of reverence and gratitude, and slipped into the night as quickly as she had appeared. Turning back to the group, Laura caught Bill staring at her curiously. “What?”  
  
He shook his head, taking off his own jacket and handing it to her. Hand in hand, surrounded by her guards, they walked back to the cabin.  
  
*****  
   
As they entered the cabin, Laura shivered. “It’s chilly tonight. I think it’s a one log evening.”  
  
“So it’s not a ‘one Bill’ evening?”  
  
She rolled her eyes at her husband as she knelt before the stove and tossed a small log in. “It’s  _always_  that.”  
  
Bill chuckled softly as he sat on the couch to remove his boots, watching Laura pull a pot from the shelf in the process.  
  
“We’ve got vegetables and more vegetables. Take your pick.”  
  
“Vegetables,” Bill replied. The crops were starting to come in, and he had to admit, it was exciting to be able to eat a variety of real food again. The jerky was growing tiresome meal after meal. The people on the Botanical Cruiser had guarded a large variety of seeds during their time in space, and had planted and grown a variety of plants, vegetables, and flowers.  Cabbage, onion, and even sweet potato were now staples of many a diet. Bill was amazed at the sheer number of crops they had grown.  
  
“You were awfully quiet on the way home. Something on your mind?” Laura smiled at him as she tossed the vegetables in the pot.  
  
“You know exactly what’s on my mind.”  
  
“If I did, I wouldn’t have asked.” Off his silence, she turned to him. He was giving her that matter of fact look he’d perfected long ago. Laura shrugged her shoulders. “What about it, Bill?”  
  
“I haven’t seen you that… _presidential_  in a long time.”  
  
She checked the pot on the stove before walking over to him and sitting on the couch. “What would you have me do in that situation?”  
  
“Keep on walking.”  
  
Laura sighed. “As much as I don’t want to be president anymore, and as much as I value our solitude, I can’t just ignore people Bill. Not when they’re right in front of me. It’s not who I am. I can’t live my life in fear.”  
  
Bill shook his head. “You can, and you do. Some fears you’ve grown comfortable with.”  
  
“Like what?”  
  
“Like not wanting to make the first move with people. With  _the_  people.”  
  
“What would you have me do? Walk right into the middle of camp? 10 minutes ago you didn’t want me to stop for one very old woman.”  
  
“I’m not suggesting a reception, Laura. But you’re a public figure, like it or not. And eventually, you have to face those people. So get it over with. Or else we’ll be bombarded with a ton of Hannas every day.”  
  
“So what are you suggesting? Shall I make a speech in front of all those people?”  
  
“No. But there is that reporter from the Dispatch. She’s been snooping around.”  
  
“Give an interview?”  
  
“Why not? You get to talk to the people in a controlled manner. And you’ll have final approval, of course.” He gave her a nudge with his elbow and smiled.  
  
“But I’m good at speeches.”  
  
“Not as good as I am.”  
  
Laura gasped. “Oh, you’ll pay for that remark.”  
  
He grinned. “That’s what I was hoping for.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exclusive Dispatch interview with former president Laura Roslin.

 

Laura Roslin - The Exclusive Interview  
by Lucy Hale

  
Laura Roslin – the supposed dying leader thought to lead the people to their salvation. How many among us believed in that prophecy? When word of her death spread throughout the settlement not long after we’d reached our new home, many people gathered for makeshift memorials. The deeply religious found solace in group prayer. It was as if we’d lost a mythical creature, a folk hero. Of course Laura Roslin had her detractors, but no one can deny the place she held within our fleet, and now, within our history.  
  
It was a shock to all when the first Roslin sightings started, not long after her death. Some were quick to brush them off as religious zealots having a hard time letting their leader go. But when Sam Stanton, a staunch Roslin opponent, caught sight of a security detail around the newly constructed cabin home of former Admiral William Adama, he knew something was up. “I needed to see for myself. If she really was alive, did she fake her death? That was the consensus among many in camp.”  
  
But when Stanton finally got a look at the former president, he was shocked. “It was obvious to me that she hadn’t faked her death. She looked healthy. She looked different.  She looked almost nothing like the woman the fleet had come to know in her last months.”  
  
It didn’t take long for the word ‘Cylon’ to start popping up in whispered conversations. “Many of us refused to believe that,” says Mary Carter, formerly of the  _Thera Sita_. “It’s one thing to try and make peace with the remaining cylons. But to have our former leader be revealed as one? It was terrifying.”  
  
As it turns out, no one was more terrified than Laura Roslin herself. As she tells it, she had no idea of her true identity. “It was a shock. Much more than that. I didn’t think I’d ever accept being what I am.” She speaks cautiously, ever the politician. “While I’m glad we have made peace with the cylons among us, coming to terms with the fact that I was one of them was a near impossible pill to swallow.”  
  
Roslin declines to talk about how and when she found out, although she maintains she had no idea of her background while she was sitting president. “There was no way I could have led the people had I known. It wouldn’t have been right.” Even though many close to her during her term claim that Roslin didn’t feel there was ever another suitable candidate? “I’m sure there are people among us suitable to lead,” she answers diplomatically.  
  
She claims that the world of politics is now behind her. “While I believe a strong government will lay the foundation for a great society here, I have no desire to take part in it.” So what does she want to do with her ‘second chance’, as she calls it? “Enjoy life. Live a little.”  
  
Should we be on the lookout for more Laura Roslins? “No,” she says emphatically. “I am the only one.” When I ask how she can be sure of anything given the recent surprise of her true identity, she attempts a smile. “Resurrection technology is far from our planet. Even if there were more of me, or another body for me, there is no way any of that could reach us here.”  
  
So she and all the other cylons have the one thing that gives us our humanity – mortality. How does that make her feel? “Surprisingly glad. I couldn’t imagine living knowing I had infinite second chances.”  
  
Roslin quickly shuts down any talk of her first death. “I understand the curiosity, but it’s not something I’m willing to share.”  
  
Neither, it seems, is she willing to share details of her relationship with Adama, who is absent from our meeting aboard Galactica. I had requested our interview take place in the home they now share, but arrangements were made to meet on what was described as more ‘neutral’ ground. The former leaders seem immensely protective of their life and their privacy. Roslin will only confirm that she does, in fact, live with Adama. There is a ring on her finger – a small silver band – however, I can find no priest within the settlement who will admit to performing a wedding ceremony between the two. William Adama declined to be interviewed for this piece.  
  
Having had the opportunity to interview Laura Roslin during her time as president, the changes in her appearance are startling. She confirms that the body she has now is younger than the one she had before, although she is hard pressed to pin down an age for herself. She claims she just does not know. Cancer treatments had taken her hair, her muscle tone, her energy. She has all back now in spades. It seems as if she is almost living a dream – defying death, having both health and youth restored. But Roslin winces at the analogy. “I wouldn’t say that. It’s not that simple. Everything I thought I was turned out to be a lie. My background. My family. My memories. There are many unanswered questions.  
  
When I point out that it sounds as if she is claiming that her former life was a sham, she rushes to correct me. “I want to assure the people that while in office…” she pauses, struggling for the right words. “I was always true to who I believed I was. Nothing was more important to me than the survival of the people, their future.”  
  
And how does she see the people’s future?  
  
“This is a beautiful, lush planet. I think it holds much promise.”  
  
One can’t help but wonder if Laura Roslin believes the same for herself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura receive a visit from Lee.

“So?”  
  
Laura lay on her side in bed, her head propped up on one arm. Bill was beside her, reading the Dispatch article. He’d declined to read it when she’d reviewed it for publication, saying that it didn’t need his stamp of approval.  
  
“It’s okay. Gossipy in places. Nothing I didn’t already know.”  
  
She smiled at him, taking the paper out of his hands and scanning the article. “I wasn’t expecting heavy hitting journalism.”  
  
“Not when you’re not talking about politics.”  
  
“What was there for me to say? My political career is over. And there’s nothing worse than a talking head pontificating on the current state of things. None of it is my concern anymore.”  
  
“The lady doth protest too much.”  
  
Laura swatted him with the paper. “I have no place in politics. And I don’t want one.”  
  
Bill raised his hand in mock surrender. “Okay. I do have a follow up question though.”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“Enjoy life? Live a little?” He raised his eyebrows in suggestion.  
  
“You’re insatiable, you know that? You have the stamina of a 25 year old.”  
  
“I’m starting to figure that out, yes.” He turned to her, pulling the sheet down to expose her breast. She stopped him before his mouth could capture her nipple.  
  
“Oh no. Remember, your son is coming by this morning.”  
  
Bill groaned. “I love him. I do. But he’s always had terrible timing.”  
  
“You’re the one who invited him so early.”  
  
“Frak.” Bill tossed the covers back, sitting up and sliding into his slippers. “I’ll put tea on. Do we have time for that?”  
  
“I have no idea. My watch died.” Laura tossed the now useless item on her nightstand as Bill tied the belt of his robe.  
  
“And how do you know what kind of stamina a 25 year old has?”  
  
She tossed him a look. “Never mind that. Go put the water on.”  
  
Bill chuckled under his breath as he headed into the main room to start their day.  
   
*****  
  
“More tea, son?”  
  
Lee shook his head. “No thanks.”  
  
The three were sitting around the small table in the main room of the cabin. Laura ran a hand over her bare wrist, wondering inwardly how long Lee had been there. Ten minutes? Fifteen? Before Bill could continue the idle chit-chat she’d been suffering through, she shifted in her chair and cleared her throat. “So. I guess we should get down to it.”  
  
“You mean, are lynch mobs forming in your name?”  
  
“Something like that, yes.”  
  
Lee pushed his near empty tea cup towards the center of the table and folded his arms in front of him. “People are talking about you. Some are upset, of course. Not sure what to think. But having cylons and humans living beside one another here has probably helped. The humans that are staunchly against cylons live on the outskirts of the settlement, or moved on to explore the continent. We’re lucky that the vast majority of people left don’t seem to harbor ill will. Not outwardly, anyway. Most of them just want to start over.” He paused and considered Laura. “Of course, they know the models they have been living alongside. They don’t know you.”  
  
“What do you mean? Of course they do.”  
  
“No, they know you as who they thought was their  _human_  president. They don’t know you as a cylon.”  
  
Laura looked at Bill, who was sitting back in his chair watching her. Gauging her response, she supposed. “Well, I gave an interview. What more can I do?”  
  
“Meet with some of them.”  
  
“No.” Lee and Laura looked at Bill, who continued his thought. “Not a good idea.”  
  
“Let me finish, Dad. A pre-selected group. Maybe people she knows….or… _knew_.” Lee turned his attention to Laura. “Staying locked up in here, you’re still a mystery. You know full well that people don’t like mysteries. Especially not when they’re unsure and potentially afraid.”  
  
Laura sighed. Lee, as always, had valid points. What it came down to was how she wanted to live her life. If she stayed hidden away, she would always be a curiosity to the people. But if she took that next step, it might lead to a more normal life for her and Bill.  
  
“Laura?” Bill’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “What are you thinking?”  
  
She looked at her husband. If she wanted to hide away for the rest of their lives, he would accept it. She knew that. But she wanted more for him. For them. For herself. She took a deep breath and smiled at Lee. “Let’s do it.”  
  
*****  
  
Laura woke with a start, her eyes slow to adjust to the darkness in the room. She was on the couch, their current book draped open on her hip. Bill had been reading to her, his hand in her hair, her head on his lap. But he was gone now. There was a single candle lit on their dining table.  
  
“Bill?”  
  
She stood, marking their place in the book before placing it on the couch. She looked in the bedroom, but it was empty. She turned, and studied the front door. It was open slightly. Just enough to alert her to his whereabouts but not let the cool evening air in. She grabbed her cloak by the door and ventured outside. She didn’t have to travel far; Bill was sitting on the front stairs. His head was turned up, studying the unfamiliar sky.  
  
“What’re you doing?” Laura draped her cloak around her shoulders and sat down next to him, sliding her hand through his arm.  
  
“Seems so big from down here, doesn’t it?”  
  
“You miss it.”  
  
“Yeah, I do.”  
  
“There are ways you can get up there, you know.”  
  
“I know. I just can’t justify the waste of fuel.”  
  
“Who would you have to justify it to, Bill?”  
  
“Myself.”  
  
Laura shook her head. “We have enough tylium for years. And we don’t use a quarter of what we used to.”  
  
“How do you know how much tylium we use down here?”  
  
She shrugged. “I…guessed.”  
  
Bill swallowed a grin. “Good guess.”  
  
“I think you should do what makes you happy.”  
  
“I think you just want to see me in a flight suit again.”  
  
Laura giggled. “You did look pretty spiffy.”  
  
They sat in silence, arms intertwined. Bill kept his gaze on the sky, and Laura watched the trees dance in the light breeze. She rested her head against his. “This is nice.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Bill?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“What if we’d stayed on New Caprica. Would you have stayed on Galactica?”  
  
“Didn’t we have this conversation once?”  
  
“Yes. And you dodged me.”  
  
“I don’t know, Laura. I know what I’d like my answer to be. But I’m not sure the reality of it would have worked the way we wanted it to.”  
  
“Gods, it was a miserable planet.”  
  
“Can I ask why it matters? We’re here now. You have your cabin.”  
  
“It doesn’t matter. I was just thinking.”  
  
He looked down at her, head nestled in his neck, auburn hair filling his vision. “I wanted to, Laura. I wanted this.”  
  
She smiled into his skin, kissing his neck. She knew he only spoke half truths. He wouldn’t be the man she loved if a part of him didn’t long to be in the stars. She wanted to tell him that she loved flying with him, even though they’d only done it once. But the silence was peaceful, so she sat with him while he stared wistfully at the life he’d left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Bill quotes Shakespeare. Make of that what you will. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura has her first formal meeting with some of the people of the fleet.

“Is that what you’re wearing?”  
  
Bill looked down at his dress pants and blue sweater. “What’s wrong with it? Shall I pull out my dress grays?”  
  
Laura frowned. “I didn’t mean it like that. It was just a question.”  
  
“Is that what  _you’re_  wearing?”  
  
She looked at the very old black suit that hung on her body. “Yes, it is. I think wearing a suit will help.”  
  
“It’s a little big.”  
  
“I know. But I’m not wearing one of those flowing skirts Elizabeth gave me.” She pulled at the excess fabric around her middle. “Does it look bad?”  
  
Bill smiled, crossing to her and pulling her hands from her waist. “No. It looks just fine.”  
  
 _‘You don't know anything about women, do you?’_  A moment with Billy long ago flashed in her mind. She smiled, remembering his boyish face. “Just ‘fine’?”  
  
“Perfect. Ravishing. Are you nervous?”  
  
“No. Are you?”  
  
“Slightly.”  
  
“Why? You have the easy job. You get to be my arm candy.”  
  
Bill laughed. “I’m glad you think of me that way.” He held his arm out for her. “Shall we?”  
  
*****  
  
The walk down the hill seemed interminable to Laura. She  _was_  nervous, and she knew that Bill knew it. It wasn’t the threat of bodily harm, which she felt well protected from. It was the reactions of the people that made her stomach turn. The look of shock followed by a split-second moment of recovery before finally offering her a polite smile. It was inevitable. And it only magnified the fact that she wasn’t completely comfortable with who she was. How could she expect anyone else to be?  
  
Except Bill. He walked beside her, as close as possible without touching. He’d sensed that she’d wanted to be alone with her thoughts, and she was grateful for it. Saul was on her other side. She knew both he and Bill were armed, but she hadn’t brought it up. They were surrounded by most of her security team, save two who had stayed behind to keep an eye on the cabin.  
  
Galactica had been chosen as the most ideal spot for the meeting. There would be only one way in and one way out. The most controlled environment possible. The invitees had all been approved by Laura, and were largely people she’d interacted with while in office – ships captains, former aides, a handful of former Colonial One residents. A metal detector had been put in place, and each guest would be subject to a pat down. Laura had balked at that, but both Bill and Sullivan were adamant. She’d finally agreed to it as long as the guests were made aware of the security measures before their arrival.  
  
As they approached the grounded ship, the knot in Laura’s stomach grew. She took a deep breath, pushing her feelings down deep and letting her presidential mask slide into place. She was surprised at how easily the practice came back to her.  
  
Bill, on the other hand, was not surprised. He saw the change in her instantly. She held herself more rigidly than normal. Her face was imperceptible. President Laura Roslin was now walking beside him. He knew that as much as she denied it, a part of her would always be the president.  
  
They made their way inside Galactica and were quickly escorted down to the Ward Room. The closer they got, the more marines she saw in the halls. Laura forced herself to make eye contact with everyone in their path. That was what she was here for. To show them who she was, and that they had nothing to fear from her.  
  
Bill, Laura, Saul, Sullivan, and two other guards were ushered into one of the meeting rooms, where they were greeted by a Lieutenant Gibson. Gibson saluted Bill and Saul, and extended his hand to Laura. “Sir.”  
  
Laura took his hand in hers and shook it firmly. “Lieutenant. Thank you for being here.”  
  
Gibson nodded, stepping back to launch into his security briefing. Laura watched him, decided she liked him. He kept his composure; didn’t falter in her presence. Then again, she reminded herself, they’d never met before.  
  
“So, everyone’s already been searched?”  
  
“Yes, Admiral. And Galactica’s been swept twice.”  
  
“Did anyone object to being searched?” This from Saul, who was standing almost as close to her as Bill was. Someone had been subjected to an earlier briefing from the former Admiral, she mused.  
  
“No objections, sir. They were all made aware of the conditions before arriving.”  
  
Laura had heard all she needed to hear. “And they’re all waiting?”  
  
“Yes sir. In the Ward Room.”  
  
“Well, let’s not keep them any longer, shall we?” Laura straightened her jacket and turned to Bill and Saul. “You two can hang back a bit. We don’t want to intimidate them.” She turned and followed Sullivan out into the hall before either had a chance to reply.  
  
Saul looked at Bill and shrugged. “She’s your wife.”  
  
*****  
  
The atmosphere in the Ward Room was tense. Laura could feel it as she walked in. She smiled and swept the room with her gaze, cataloguing all the familiar faces. She stopped at one man, opened her mouth to speak, and found she did not know what to say. Walking toward him, her hand reached out in greeting.  
  
“Hello Gaius.”  
  
The look on his face was complete bewilderment. “Laura.”  
  
“How are you? I hear you are quite the farmer.”  
  
“Ah, yes, actually. I’ve found I have quite the green thumb. I grew up on a farm, you know.”  
  
“That’s good. Maybe you can share your expertise with me one day. The only thing I can grow is the hair on my head.”  
  
“I would love to.” The words came out slowly, as if he was testing them on his tongue.  
  
Laura shifted her gaze to the woman on his left. “Hello Caprica.”  
  
“Hello.”  
  
Laura could not help but notice the telling bump under her dress. “Congratulations.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
There was a brief moment where the two women studied one another with brand new curiosity. It was broken when a man with salt and pepper hair approached Laura.  
  
“Madame President?”  
  
Laura grinned, biting her lip to keep a giggle of amusement from escaping. “Martin.”  
  
As was the nature of her new life, some reunions were effortless. This was one of them. The former pilot of Colonial One stepped forward and enveloped her in a hug. She felt, rather than saw, her guards take a step toward them. But when she wrapped her arms around the captain, they relaxed.  
  
The two parted, and she stepped back to take him in. He looked relaxed. There was almost a bounce in his step where she’d never seen one before. “Retirement looks good on you.”  
  
“Oh, I’m not sure how retired I am. There’s a lot of work to be done around here. But I do enjoy it.”  
  
“I’m glad you came. It’s good to see you.”  
  
“You too. It’s very good to see you.”  
  
They shared a smile before Laura was escorted through the small crowd, shaking hands and partaking in small talk with the rest of the people gathered. It wasn’t as awkward or tedious as she’d anticipated. Everyone was pleasant and welcoming, although she knew this wasn’t exactly an adequate test of the waters. But it was a start.  
  
There was no podium. The notion had felt too presidential to Laura. So she simply stood among the guests and addressed them.  
  
“I’d like to thank you all for coming. I know this seems a bit strange, perhaps a bit forced. In truth, I wasn’t even sure how this would work, or even if it would. I’m trying to get a feel for everything around me again, and small steps seemed as good an idea as any. I’m not quite sure what people make of me, if anything. I don’t presume to weigh heavily on the minds of most, considering what our lives have become now. There are far too many important things to be concerned with – procuring food and shelter, education for our children, building a society. But I do feel as if I owe the people a bit of a chance to get to know me. The real me, I guess you could say.”  
  
“You mean, as a cylon?”  
  
Laura’s eyes shifted immediately to the back of the room, but she could not ascertain who asked the question. Swallowing heavily, she nodded. “I suppose that’s one way of looking at it, yes. What I’d like to focus on is what you all are doing for yourselves – creating a life for myself on this planet.  It’s a difficult process, but I’m working on it. Thank you all for helping me get one step closer today.”  
  
*****  
  
Laura couldn’t sleep. Bill lay beside her wide awake. She could practically feel him thinking. She turned over to face him. The moonlight that crept in around the curtains to brighten the darkness on his face did little to decipher his mood. He’d been fairly quiet since the meeting on Galactica.  
  
“You wanna talk?” she ventured.  
  
“Do you?”  
  
“Depends. What’re you thinking about?”  
  
“I don’t know. There’s a lot on my mind.”  
  
“Okay. Well, start with one thing.”  
  
“Are you pleased with how today went?”  
  
Laura shrugged. “I suppose so. There were no assassination attempts. That’s a plus.”  
  
“Do you think it accomplished what you wanted it to?”  
  
“I’m not sure what it accomplished, Bill. Are  _you_  pleased with how today went?”  
  
“It’s probably a start. It’s a long way from going into camp for supplies, though.”  
  
“Is that what you would rather have had me do?”  
  
“No. It’s just an observation.”  
  
“You think it was a waste of time.”  
  
“No, I don’t. I just want to make sure you see it for what it was.”  
  
“And what is that, exactly?”  
  
“Sanitized. Watered down. Insulated.”  
  
“Wasn’t that the point? If I remember correctly, you’re the one who initially didn’t even want me to do that.”  
  
“I didn’t say it was a bad idea.”  
  
“Bill. Just say whatever you want to say.”  
  
“Those people. They came to see Laura Roslin – Cylon. And you know who they got instead? President Laura Roslin. You acted exactly the same way you always have with them.”  
  
Laura sat up, trying to control the tone of her voice when she spoke. “I can’t change who I am, Bill. Whoever or whatever that is.”  
  
“You’re missing my point. Who you were with them today? That’s not who you are here. With me.”  
  
“But that’s not the difference between President Laura and… just plain Laura.”  
  
“No. But if you really want them to accept you as simply Laura, you need to stop acting like their president.”  
  
“How would you have me act with them?”  
  
“You need to let your guard down a little.”  
  
Laura narrowed her eyes at him. “But that’s not who I am, Bill. Never was.”  
  
“That’s not exactly true. You taught on New Caprica, even attended a few events and parties.”  
  
“It was different then. I feel like all eyes are on me now.”  
  
“They always were, Laura. Especially when you took to jogging the halls of Galactica and kissing me in front of my crew.”  
  
She blushed, but felt certain he wouldn’t see it in the moonlight. “I’m not comfortable with what I am now, Bill.”  
  
“And maybe you never will be. Doesn’t mean other people won’t be. I’m comfortable with who you are. Saul is. Lee too. Give people a chance, Laura. It might help.”  
  
“Who am I, Bill?”  
  
He shrugged. “You’re just Laura.”  
  
She sat up against the headboard, Bill curled beside her. She listened to his breathing, heard it change after a time to signal he had fallen asleep. But she did not join him in slumber. Her mind kept turning his words over in her mind –  _You’re just Laura_. There was a truth there, a sliver of something she longed to hold on to. She closed her eyes and made a promise to herself to try.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura make an interesting discovery down at the stream.

“Laura? Guess what?”  
  
She could hear Bill calling as he approached the front door. He’d gone into camp for supplies, and seemingly every time he did, returned with something different. Something they thought they’d never have again in their lives. She giggled as he bounded in, like a child with a new toy.  
  
“What is it today? Chocolate? Ice Cream?”  
  
“Nope. Bread!”  
  
Laura’s mouth dropped he pulled the round loaf from his bag. Such a simple thing, and yet it seemed like a miracle. “How did they manage that?”  
  
“Cassava. Well, that’s where they got the flour from. Then it’s a matter of yeast and all that jazz.”  
  
“Amazing. Now hand it over.”  
  
“Ah, let’s not be savages. Let’s be dignified about this.” He sank down on the couch next to her and tore off a piece of the bread. She reached for it, and he pulled it back. “Open.”  
  
She smiled, opening her mouth in anticipation. Bread was never a favorite food of hers, but the taste brought tears to her eyes. It was familiar and comforting, and still faintly warm. She chewed it slowly, savoring the experience.  
  
“There’s more, you know.”  
  
“Well, hand it over.”  
  
Bill chuckled, ripping off a large piece and handing it to her. He took a piece for himself and they sat, enjoying the simple pleasure of something they had taken for granted long ago. They ate half the loaf, deciding to save the other half for dinner. Bill brushed the crumbs from his hands and Laura frowned.  
  
“You gonna sweep that up?”  
  
“Yes. In a minute. There’s more.”  
  
Laura looked at the bag he’d left by the door. “Chocolate? Ice Cream?”  
  
“They’re forming a school.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah. I guess they feel it’s time now; people have their routines and their shelter and are adapting. It’s a natural progression.”  
Laura smiled, thinking of the tiny faces in the school on New Caprica. Getting back to the basics of what she loved – education - was a silver lining in the dark cloud of that planet. “That’s wonderful.”  
  
“I think a few people were wondering if you would be teaching again.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
Bill shrugged. “Don’t know. Just talk around camp. You  _are_  the best known teacher in the fleet.”  
  
“I’m not sure the majority of people would want me to teach their children now.”  
  
“Actually, a couple of Sixes and Eights will be teaching Cylon history.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Yeah. I mean, they already learn about wars in schools. Now they can hear both sides of one story.”  
  
Laura let that sink in for a minute. “And everyone’s okay with that?”  
  
“I guess most are. They’re learning to live together. Forgive and move on. I think most of them realize it’s the only way. Maybe they learned from your general pardon after New Caprica.”  
  
“Wow.”  
  
“So, what do you think?”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“Teaching again.”  
  
“I… have no idea. Are you offering me the job?”  
  
“No. I’m just wondering what you’re thinking.”  
  
“I’m not sure what to think. I’m sure they wouldn’t ask me.”  
  
“They might.”  
  
“Why do you say that? Did someone say something to you?”  
  
“No. But I can see how it might happen.”  
  
“And what do  _you_  think about it?”  
  
“I think if it makes you happy, you should do it.”  
  
“Well, it’s just hypothetical anyway.”  
  
“Yeah.” Bill nodded to the window, wanting to change the subject. “It’s a nice day out there. I might head down to the stream. Care to join me?”  
  
She grinned. “That sounds perfect.”  
   
*****  
  
Bill was right. It was a nice day. A perfect day. She never tired of the walk to the stream, watching the birds fly from tree to tree, their songs carried through the air. They walked hand in hand, as they always did on this trail. It was their time, just for them. Laura was often amazed that they never encountered anyone at the stream. It wasn’t that far from the settlement, and although the people had no shortage of water sources, the stream offered something different. But it was as if it belonged to them alone. She wondered if perhaps Bill or her security team had something to do with it. Normally the thought of keeping people away from such beauty for her sake would bother her. But this was the one place she always felt grateful to be alive. She didn’t want to share it with anyone.  
  
She took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill her lungs. Something on the side of the trail caught her eye. On closer inspection, it looked to be a bush squirrel.  She tugged on Bill’s hand, motioning with a nod to the tree the creature sat beneath. They watched, still as statues, as the squirrel nibbled on some kind of nut. She turned to Bill to whisper something, and found him watching her rather than the animal.  
  
“What?”  
  
He shook his head. “I’m not sure I’ll ever tire of seeing you explore this planet.”  
  
But Gods, he was a romantic, and she found she loved it. She leaned in and kissed him, soft and slow, a promise of things to come.  
  
****  
Their stream was not a simple waterway, of course. The waterfall, taller than both of them combined, crashed into a small but deep plunge pool which fed the stream. As hard as she tried, Laura found that her mind could never quite capture just how perfect it was.  
Bill was already at the pool’s edge, stripping off his pants. His shirt had been flung over a nearby branch. Shaking her head at his speed, she unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it, kicking off her shoes at the same time. Next was her blouse, which she unbuttoned as she watched Bill wade into the water and dive under. She waited until he surfaced before she let her shirt fall. “Hey Admiral.”  
  
He turned to her, his mouth opening in surprise. She laughed. “Do you like?”  
  
He nodded vigorously as she ran her hands along the strap of her bathing suit. She was surprised to find such an item in Elizabeth’s sack of clothing the week before. Laura called it the magic sack, because she was never quite sure where the blonde managed to get all the clothes she did. Part of her wondered how clean it was; it was almost a given that after all this time, every piece of clothing that existed in the fleet had to be worn by someone at least once. But it looked brand new. And after swearing to herself she’d wash it a dozen times before putting it on, she grabbed it from the pile of clothes. The look on Bill’s face would be worth it.  
  
She saw that look now as she walked into the water slowly, holding his gaze. She waited until the water was deep enough before sinking under. She emerged in front of him, and found him still dumbfounded.  
  
“Did I render you speechless?”  
  
He shook his head, reaching out to touch the royal blue one-piece. “Where did you get this?”  
  
“A woman can’t give away all her secrets.” She dove under the surface again and swam past him, toward the waterfall. She came up for air just beside the wall of water. Being so close to the force of it took her breath away. It couldn’t have been more than twenty feet high, but it was one of the most majestic things she’d ever seen. Bill swam up beside her, and as she turned to him, something caught her eye. One area behind the waterfall seemed darker than the rest of the rock. She sunk beneath the surface and swam toward it, making sure to keep close to the rock wall. She surfaced behind the waterfall, although there was only about two feet of clearance between the water and the rock. Save for one spot. She moved closer, and realized what she’d suspected was true – it was a cave. She opened her mouth to call for Bill, but he popped up right beside her, as if on cue.  
  
“Come on.” They approached the cave, but neither was prepared for what they found when they entered it. It was a fairly small space, and the water was not as deep inside. The sunlight filtered through the waterfall gave the cave a warm glow. Laura ran her hands along the rock wall. “Do you think anyone has ever been in here before?”  
  
“Let’s pretend we’re the first.” Bill floated over to the back of the cave, and found a tiny passageway in the rock. He heard Laura gasp beside him when she spotted it. It was a tight fit, but moving sideways, one could slide through. She positioned herself to try, and Bill grabbed her arm. “We don’t know how far back it goes.”  
  
“So? We’ll come back. Don’t you want to know, Bill? This is something right out of one of our books. Tell me you aren’t dying to know where this leads.”  
  
He grinned at her, pulling her back. “Fine. But I go first.”  
  
It was tighter than she thought. Bill most definitely had to suck it in a few times, and more than once she was worried he would get stuck. But he never stopped, and soon they saw a flicker of light just ahead.  
  
“The light at the end of the tunnel.”  
  
“Let’s see where you brought us.” His fingers brushed hers as they moved along the wall, and he looked back at her, grinning.  
The tunnel widened, and the two stood motionless at the sight before them. It was another cave, a large one. And in the center was another waterfall, lit with the sunlight that came through the hole in the rock above.  
  
“Oh my Gods, Bill.” Her hand gripped his as they swam into the cavern, the water being slightly deeper here than in the previous cave. Laura headed straight for the waterfall and swam under it, surfacing to let the water crash down over her. She closed her eyes, remembering the last time she felt anything like this, and the sorrow that accompanied it. But this was not a place for pain. She would not allow it. This was a healing place, a peaceful one.  
  
Bill watched her, her body bathed in water and sunlight, and he knew they would not leave this place without making love. He swam over to her, his mouth finding hers, and they kissed until they could no longer breathe. He led them out of the middle of the fall, just enough to enjoy the experience and still come up for air. They might have kissed for minutes, or hours, neither knew nor cared. Nothing else existed save for them and the water falling around them.  
  
Her legs wound around him, hips grinding against him. He wasn’t as hard as she would have liked, and she pulled away from him to rectify the situation. Taking a deep breath, she sunk below the surface and pulled his trunks down. She wouldn’t be able to do this for very long, but the hands gripping her hair told her it would be worth it. She heard a muffled moan as she took him in her mouth. It was a strange sensation, doing this underwater. She had to remind herself to hold her breath. She took him all the way in and began to suck. No finesse or fancy mouth work. Getting water into her lungs would definitely kill the mood. She held out for as long as she could, only releasing his cock when her lungs began to burn.  
  
“You okay?” He looked concerned when she gasped upon surfacing.  
  
“I’m fine. I just wish I could hold my breath longer.”  
  
“That was…Gods Laura. I could see you.”  
  
Laura looked down and realized that he was right. The water was so clear it was like-  
  
“Looking through glass.”  
  
He finished her thought before she’d even had a chance to speak it. Her arms found their way around his neck again, kissing him hard. He grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist. They were moving, and she wasn’t sure he could see where he was taking them. “Where are we going?”  
  
“Here.” He treaded over to a large rock that jutted out from the wall of the cave. It was low enough for the water to lap on its surface, but high enough for him to lay her down on it and keep her legs wrapped around him.  
  
She lay before him in her blue swimsuit, biting her lip in anticipation. “And now that you have me here, what are you going to do with me?”  
  
“I’m going to make love to you.”  
  
Her eyes widened in surprise, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to deny them this moment. It was possible that security would come looking for her, but would they find the tunnel? And even if they did, would they fit through?  
  
“Shhh.” He kissed her forehead, silencing her thoughts.  
  
Gods, he was so warm when he leaned over her, his breath on her cheek. She was completely drunk on him, and she knew she couldn’t say no to him. Reaching up, she pushed him back just enough, and then pulled the straps of her suit down to expose her breasts. He groaned, wasting no time in taking the cold flesh of her left breast into his mouth. He sucked and sucked, just as she had done for him moments ago underwater. She ran her hands in his hair, gripping it and anchoring him in place. “That’s it…Perfect…”  
  
He hummed in agreement around her nipple, pulling back and releasing it with a pop. She lifted her hips to shimmy out of the suit, but he stopped her with a hand to her shoulder. “Keep it on.”  
  
Scrubbing the suit ten times before wearing it was most definitely worth it, she decided.  
  
Bill pushed the fabric between her thighs to one side, bending down to taste her. She stopped him with a hand. “No…no. Save that for later,” she said with a sly grin.  
  
“You sure?” His hand was exploring her folds, sliding back and forth over her clit, gauging her wetness.  
  
“Mmm hmm.”  
  
He removed his hand, replacing it with his cock, sliding against her for a long moment before entering her. Laura’s eyes rolled back at the feel of him, her hand reaching blindly for his. They were so good together, and it was only when he was buried deep inside her that she allowed herself the romantic notion that they were made for each other. Cut from the same mold. There wasn’t a part of her he couldn’t reach, an ache he couldn’t quiet within her. His rhythm was solid and steady, and as always, she wanted it to last far longer than it ever did.  
  
Bill watched as she took all he had to offer, over and over again. Her breasts, freed from the swimsuit, swayed hypnotically with each thrust of his hips. But while he found himself getting closer to release, he sensed that she was having difficulty. Something was off, and he wondered if maybe she was having trouble letting go in their surroundings. He leaned over her to get a better angle, and she pushed on his shoulders.  
  
“Wait, wait…” She rose up on her elbows for leverage. “Move me over.” Her voice was breathless as she patted the rock next to them.  
  
“You wanna get down?”  
  
“No, no. Just over a little. Rock is digging into my back.”  
  
He scooped her up and did as she asked, making sure he positioned her on a smooth surface before he resumed thrusting. “Better?”  
  
“Gods yes…” And there it was. That perfect place where everything fell away and she allowed herself to simply feel. His movements were exquisite, her body responding in kind. “Just like that…Don’t stop…” Her release was building quickly, and she tightened her legs around him to keep him in place. So close. Right there. The water lapped against her as they moved, and she tore her eyes from his to take in their surroundings. The beam of light that chased the water falling from the rock above, the distant sound of the waterfall in the outer chamber, her body pinned between the hardness of the rock beneath her and the solid presence of her lover above her. She cried out, her orgasm hitting her hard and fast. Her body bucked against his, aching to feel him come apart inside her. One more thrust and he was there with her, collapsing on her with a groan against her ear.  
  
Laura’s arms wrapped around his back, their bodies still trembling. She had the intense urge to laugh. Not from amusement, but from release. She decided to embrace it, and Bill looked up at her as her laugh echoed in the cave.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
“Nothing.” She shrugged, searching for the right words. “I’m happy.”  
  
The look he gave her was unlike anything she’d ever seen in him before. There was hope mixed with happiness, but for the first time since they met, she could find no worry hidden in his eyes. She laughed again, the sound enveloping them before he silenced it with a kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura attend a party in town.

Laura pulled the covers over her head in an effort to block out the growing sunlight. She heard Bill shuffle back into the bedroom.

“Who was at the door at this hour?”

“Saul.”

She pushed the covers down. “Did something happen?”

“No. Apparently there’s a hog roast tonight.”

“And?”

Bill slipped back into bed and flipped the covers over his legs. “They had a decent hunt and they’re putting the beast in the ground now.”

“That sounds really appetizing,” said Laura, now without a hint of sarcasm.

Bill leaned in and nipped at her shoulder. “Maybe not as good as some things, but the idea has merit.”

“What idea?”

“I think we should go.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“How come?”

“Cause it sounds like fun.”

“That depends on your idea of fun.”

Bill sighed. “I’d really like to go, Laura.”

“And you want me to come?”

“Well, yes.”

“So, a couple of weeks ago, you made sure I didn’t enter a clean room full of unarmed people without a gun on your own hip, and now you think I should just wander into camp?”

“Well, no one knows you’re going to be there. You’ll be surrounded by familiar people…dare I say – friends?”

“Like who?”

“Saul, Ellen, Lee-“

“I don’t know that I’d count Ellen as a friend, really.”

“You know what I mean. I think it’ll be good, Laura.”

“How many people will be there?”

“I don’t know. According to Saul, they’re usually pretty low key. I guess neighborhoods are being formed, and that keeps the groups somewhat small.”

Laura smiled. “Neighborhoods. That’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. It’s too bad we don’t have one.”

She wasn’t sure what to make of that comment. “You chose this place.”

“I know I did.”

“And you don’t like it here?”

“No, I do. I just didn’t choose it based on my social willingness at the time.”

She let a soft smile frame her words. “And what’s changed?”

“Oh you know exactly what’s changed.” He leaned in and kissed her bare breast once, twice, three times before sliding his arm around her waist.

She knew he was happy. But this one thing could make him even more so. Sliding her fingers over his, she whispered, “Okay, we’ll go. But tell Saul the next time he wakes us up to invite us someplace, it’ll be his ass we’ll roast.”

*****

Laura fiddled with the hem of her skirt. Dressing would be so much easier with a mirror, she thought.

“I don’t think I’ve seen that before.”

She turned to Bill, who was standing in the doorway. In addition to his black pants and shirt, he was wearing a dark blazer she’d never seen before. “Look who’s talking.” She crossed to him, sliding her hands up his chest. “Where did you get this?”

“Bishop. Belonged to his brother.”

“That was nice of him. He’s back outside on patrol?”

“Yeah. I told him that Sullivan and the rest of the team could hold down the fort if he wanted more time, but I think he was eager to get back to work.”

“How old was his brother?”

“Early thirties, I think. Funeral was yesterday.”

Laura shook her head. “Too young. Frakking cancer.”

“Yeah.” He tugged at her skirt, wanting to change the subject. “And where did you find this little number?”

She looked down at the loose red fabric that hung to her ankles.  “Elizabeth’s boutique.”

“Well I like.”

“I figured.” Laura had spotted the skirt on the same visit she’d found the blue swimsuit. It had reminded her of New Caprica, and she’d decided to trade a blue dress for it. She knew Bill would like it, and it reminded her of a sweet moment in their history.

“Shall we, Mrs. Adama?”

She laughed, taking his extended arm as he led her out of the cabin. It was nearly dark, with a pleasant breeze. Laura realized she was nervous, but also a little excited. It might have been Bill’s excitement rubbing off on her. It was endearing to see him looking forward to something. She’d never pictured Bill as a social-type person, rather she thought him content with his books and quiet time. But they were both learning so much about each other now that they had left the confines of their previous roles.

Three of her security detail accompanied them down the hill – Sullivan, Pierson, and a rather imposing fellow named John. Two others, Bishop and Nealon, were already down at the camp. The excitement began to build within her as she realized that this was the first time she’d really be seeing the town. She looked at Bill as he grabbed her hand and held it firmly in his as they approached the massive encampment.

“You ready?”

She nodded happily, pushing any lingering doubt or fear out of her mind.

Saul’s neighborhood was five rows in, on the 6th street. The camp was set up largely as a square, with the streets running north to south, and the rows of tents were classified as west to east. Given this, Laura figured that Saul’s address would be 5th row, 6th street. She wasn’t sure why they didn’t just number their tents like houses back on the Colonies, but it was no longer her place to question such things.

Many people ate at the same time, simply because much of the food was cooked in bulk, like the meats. The streets weren’t too busy as a result. She didn’t go out of her way to greet anyone they encountered, but if someone caught her eye, she gave them a nod. Seeking people out was a presidential move.

She knew they were getting closer to the roast when she heard music. “You didn’t tell me there would be music.”

“I didn’t know,” he replied, still holding on to her hand.

She narrowed her eyes at him with a smirk. He knew. There wasn’t a part of this social ritual Saul hadn’t prepared him for. “If memory serves, you can hold your own on the dance floor.”

Before he could respond, Saul came running up to them. “Would you look who’s here! Come on, we’re just about to cut into the beast!”

Rounding the corner of a particularly large tent, Laura saw that the party was in full swing. The center of it all was a decent sized fire pit across from the large tent, which she now realized was a tavern of sorts. The band was playing just inside.

As they walked through the crowd, Laura noted that many people looked their way, but she reminded herself that the same would probably happen even if she wasn’t what she was. The key was to let go of the insecurities she felt about herself. People could look all they wanted, but that was not something she would ever let them see.

“You guys hungry?” asked Saul. “We’re just slicing him up now.”

He led them into the tent, where they caught a glimpse of the hog on a large table. The smell made Laura nauseous, but Bill looked intrigued by the whole thing, so she gamely got in line with him for a plate. The produce selections were more appetizing, so she filled her plate with those instead. When she declined the offer of meat from the young man carving, Bill looked at her. “You gonna pick at my plate?”

“Perhaps.”

Bill shook his head. Laura swore that the server gave him a little extra meat after witnessing their exchange. She nodded at him in thanks as they turned away. Maneuvering through the crowd with full plates, they looked for Saul, who was waving frantically at them from the far side of the tavern. Laura spotted him, and steered Bill in his direction. Lee was at the table, as was Cottle. Laura felt relieved. At least they were familiar with her now. Eating wouldn’t be too awkward.

The moment they sat down, a familiar voice called out. “Bill! Laura!”

Laura took a deep breath and turned to see Ellen headed their way, drink in hand. “I’m so glad you came!” She hugged them both, albeit awkwardly. “Laura, you look fantastic.” Ellen fingered the ends of her hair as if complimenting her on a new hairstyle.

“Thank you, Ellen.”

“What are you drinking? Saul, get them something.”

Saul didn’t return with their drinks until they were nearly finished with their food. Ellen did most of the talking, as she was the only one without a plate of food. She filled Bill and Laura in on the developments in town, such as efforts to install running water. She asked about the cabin, leaving Laura feeling like she was hinting around for an invitation. But the more she thought about it, the worse she felt. Saul came and went pretty much as he pleased from their home, but his wife had never stepped foot in it. In an effort to further expand her horizons, Laura gamely invited Ellen to the cabin. She was purposely vague on when this visit could occur, but felt it was the right thing to do. Not only for the group, but because Laura found that she looked at Ellen differently now. Much to her chagrin, she  _wanted_  to talk to her. How did she find out she was a Cylon? Did she accept it right away? She wasn’t sure she’d ever actually ask those questions, but she wanted the opportunity.

*****

Bill had to admit, he was having a pretty good time. The food was good, the company was familiar, and Laura seemed at ease. He watched her as she sat on a log by the fire, talking to Elizabeth. The Six didn’t live in Saul’s neighborhood, but it was likely he’d invited her to help Laura feel more comfortable. Bill sipped his ale, one ear on the conversation between Lee and a young officer he was ashamed to admit he’d forgotten the name of. It had been too long between memory exercises.

His eyes darted around the area, making note of the locations of their security team. Pierson and John were by the bar. Nealon was just inside the tavern, and Bishop was talking to an older man not far from Laura. But where was Sullivan? He was always the one physically closest to Laura, no matter where they were. She’d taken to him, and it was never a question as to who their point man would be.

He looked back over at Laura, just in time to see Sullivan approach her. His first thought was that something was wrong, but his anxiety fell away when he saw the officer extend his hand and Laura standing to accept it. Bill was momentarily confused as Laura and her guard’s demeanors were relaxed and then it dawned on him as they approached the dancing couples in front of the band. The dancing must’ve just started, everyone having their fill of food. When they’d exited the tent, the area in front of the band was empty. He didn’t want them to be the only ones out there; as he knew Laura wasn’t quite comfortable with all eyes on her.

Now, however, there was a growing group, and Bill watched as Sullivan led Laura around the dance floor. This was not typical guard behavior. Observe, do not interact unless there is a problem. But when he spun Laura and she laughed, Bill softened slightly. If it made her happy, he was willing to overlook it. Technically, they were her security team, so he had no real say over their actions. And the more he thought about it, could she be any safer than she was now, in the arms of her most trusted guard?

A nauseating feeling crept up on him as he watched them dance. It wasn’t jealousy. Laura would kill him for that, and he was secure enough in their relationship to not go there. No, this was more of an envy. Sullivan was young and strong, although it was mostly his age that Bill envied. Laura had asked more than once if the age thing had bothered him, and he never made an issue of it. But it did. Not  _her_  age, which he knew she’d think was the problem. It was his age that bothered him now. If he had ten decent years left, he was lucky. But even fifty years didn’t seem like enough time with Laura.

He shook himself out of his thoughts just in time for Laura to catch his eye. She smiled at him before Sullivan twirled him away.

“Dad?”

“Yes, son.”

“What do you think?”

“About what?”

“Fishing this week.”

“You? Fishing? I’d like to see that.”

“Well good. Day after tomorrow.”

“What’s going on the day after tomorrow?” Bill turned to see Laura coming up beside him.

“We’re going fishing.” Lee offered.

“I think I’d pay to see that,” she replied.

“Why does everyone think I’m so bad at fishing?”

They laughed as Lee walked back to the bar to refill his glass. Laura turned to her husband, sliding her arms around his neck. “Fishing, huh?”

“It’s either that, or hog jerky for the week.”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Have fun. And don’t forget your hat.”

His hands gripped her just below her shoulders. “Does this mean I can kiss you?” The split second it took for her to try and spit out an answer was all Bill needed to know.  “Apparently not.”

“Baby steps, Bill.”

“I know. This is good. I like this.”

She smiled at him. “How late do you want to stay?”

“Up to you.”

“Whatever will we do if we go home now?” She teased.

“Oh, I’m sure we can think of aomething.”

“Dance with me first?”

He nodded happily, escorting her to the dance floor and enfolding her in his arms. They smiled at each other as his arm went around her back and his hand closed around hers. It was impossible to not think of the one other time they had danced, what now seemed like a lifetime ago. But so much had changed. Back then, dancing with the President of the Colonies had caused his mind to wander where it normally would, having a beautiful woman in his arms. He had indulged those thoughts for a brief moment, it having been too long since he’d had a woman’s soft curves close to him. He remembered her smile, her hair, the softness of her hands. He wasn’t in love with her then, but during that dance he realized he very well could be if given the chance.

And now here they were, all these years later. She was his wife, she wore his ring, and she’d taken his name. The song was slow enough that they were able to dance cheek to cheek. Bill could feel eyes on them, although he knew that some of them were looking because Laura was a beautiful woman, not simply because of who she was. He closed his eyes and breathed in the warm scent of her. His grip around her waist tightened as he experienced the most primal of urges. She was his, and he wanted everyone to know it. Mine. She’d slap him silly if she knew, but it wasn’t simply about possession. It was about proclaiming to the worlds that she had chosen him to love her. She allowed no one else to touch her, kiss her, hold her the way he did.

“Someone showed up fashionably late, although I’m not sure he was invited,” her voice purred into his ear.

Bill looked up to see who she was talking about, but the slight brush of her hips against his clued him in. He was getting hard, right in the middle of the dance floor. He squeezed her hip to keep her close, lest someone notice. He had to think. Rectify the situation before the music ended. He turned them slightly and saw Lee standing just outside the tavern talking to Seelix. He forced himself to stare at his son until the situation in his pants was once again normal.

Laura hummed amusingly in his ear. “That a preview of coming attractions?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, Mr. Adama. I think we’d better head home.”

*****

Laura had barely shut the cabin door behind them when Bill slammed her against the wall and kissed her breathless, his hands grabbing her everywhere. The wood of the wall jammed into her back, and she pushed him back slightly. He took the opportunity to yank her skirt down, his mouth still on hers, his hands fumbling with the fabric resting on her hips. She pulled away from him with some effort, chest heaving as she locked eyes with him. There was definitely something different about him tonight. Something almost animalistic. She pulled her underwear down and stepped out of them, not stopping to fuss with her boots. He’d taken his blazer and shirt off, tossing them atop her skirt on the floor. She threw herself at him, crushing her lips to his. His hands cupped her ass, and he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist. He half walked, half stumbled to the bedroom, her head smacking into the doorway. She’d have laughed if it was any other time, but they were way beyond whimsy. They’d only been this frenzied once, and that was their first time on New Caprica. But he hadn’t gripped her this hard, kissed her this fiercely back then.

Bill backed her over the bed, throwing her down on the mattress. He was on top of her before she could catch her breath, his hands at war with her shirt.

“Wait, wait.” She rose up from the mattress, and they both made quick work of her shirt and bra, tossing them to the floor. She hissed as he bit down on her nipple a bit harder than she normally enjoyed. He merely growled and licked the sore peak. She knew that he was not gentle with her simply because, for the first time in their lives, he didn’t have to be. She wasn’t frail, sickly, in pain. And they didn’t have to keep quiet for fear of discovery. So if he wanted rough, she would give it right back to him.

She grabbed fistfuls of his hair, yanking his head away from its station at her right breast and anchoring his mouth to hers. The kiss was near violent, tongues dueling back and forth. His right hand was squeezing her breast like a teenage boy – a little too hard and with absolutely no finesse. She was just about to wonder what his left hand was up to when she felt it between her legs, finding her opening and sliding three thick fingers in. She gasped in surprise, and he pulled back in hesitation. “Did-“

“Shut up, Bill.” She bucked into his hand, mouth nipping at his neck. Her hands began their own mission, working at his belt. He reached down to unzip his pants and she helped him pull them down. He groaned, kicking his legs.

“Frakking boots.”

Laura had forgotten that neither of them had taken their shoes off. “Frak em.”

His pants abandoned at his ankles, he lay back down on top of her, his weight on one hand by her head. His cock rubbed against her core, getting click with her arousal before entering her in one quick motion. She cried out, her hips colliding with his. He pulled all the way out, and slammed into her again, over and over. His head hung over hers, but he did not kiss her. Instead he watched her, as if cataloguing her every response to him. She shut her eyes, the intensity finally becoming too much. He felt so heavy within her, probing and searing hot, blazing a new trail of pleasure inside her with every stroke.

She wanted more, however, wrapping her legs around his waist and hugging his ass with her boot clad feet. He thrust deeper and harder in response and his ragged grunts in her ear signaled just how close he was. He began murmuring something she could not make out at first, but she willed herself to quiet her own vocal responses in an effort to hear him.

“Mine….Mine….” punctuated his every thrust within her.

Her legs gripped him tighter. “Yes…yes…yours…”

He erupted within her the moment she spoke the words, his heavy throbbing forcing her own body to follow him over the edge, their hips grinding together in a messy rhythm.

Both shaking from effort and ecstasy, she guided his head to lay in the crook of her neck. She stroked his back, their bodies still humming. He began planting tiny kisses along her shoulder as she relaxed her legs back down onto the mattress.

Bill rose up to look at her, his eyes focusing on her mouth before kissing her slow and deep. It was gentle and tender and everything their lovemaking had not been. An anchoring, tethering sort of kiss.

He slid off of her and untied his boots, and then did the same for her. She watched as he untied the laces, pulling her boots and socks off before kissing the soles of her feet. He tugged on the blanket beneath her and she rose up so he could pull it down and then tuck it around her. He stopped to pull the shade down on the window before sliding under the covers with her. They maneuvered into an easy embrace on their sides, facing one another. Her arm slid around him as she nuzzled his chest.

“Was I too rough?” His voice was small in the darkness, almost embarrassed.

“What? No. Of course not. You were wonderful.”

He said nothing more, just kissed the top of her head and held her closer. She wanted to ask what had caused his needs for her to change that evening, but the hazy tendrils of sleep she had trained her body to feel again were taking hold, and she fell asleep before she could ask.

*****

Laura woke in the middle of the night, still sheltered in his embrace. She nuzzled his chest and planted tiny kisses to the scar there; feeling such a rush of love for him it nearly stole her breath. He was still fast asleep, but she felt as if they were sharing the most intimate of moments. She’d never felt completely open to another person the way she did with him now. There was an odd overwhelming sense of serenity within her, coupled with the most intense feeling of attachment she’d ever experienced. It was as if there was a thread physically connecting them to one another.

Laura would later realize that at that very moment, a part of him had joined with a part of her, and their child had begun to grow inside her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura struggles with her confusing feelings.

“Where the hell were you after all those long days on Galactica?”

Laura giggled in Bill’s ear. “I was busy being presidential.”

“Ah, well, with talents like these, I’m almost tempted to say your time then was wasted.”

She squeezed the taut muscles of his shoulder a bit harder than she had been in reply, causing him to wince out an apology.

“How did Saul talk you into helping with construction today, anyway?”

“It wasn’t a hard sell. I wanted a little activity. Don’t want to go soft.”

“Hm. Well I’d say you got a lot of activity. Did you happen to clear any of this with Cottle?” She knew the answer to the question, but decided he deserved a little nagging.

“I don’t think I’ll need Cottle for anything now that I know my wife has magic hands.”

“I do prostate exams, too.”

“I don’t need anyone checking my ass. Your ass, however…”

She laughed, continuing to work at the tight muscles in his back and neck. They sat in silence for long moments on the bed as she worked. Laura, for the first time in a long time, did not find their shared silence a comfort. Lately, when her mind was not truly engaged in something, she found it wandering to places she’d rather not explore. She felt different, but didn’t quite know what exactly was different. She felt distracted by something she couldn’t pinpoint.

“Laura?”

Bill’s voice snapped her out of her daze, and she resumed rubbing his back with what she hoped was the same intensity as before.

“You okay back there?”

“Yes sir.”

She began kissing his neck, her hands sliding down and around his middle. It was a new habit she’d formed, one she hated herself for. When Bill seemed to notice or pick up on her distracted state, she almost always initiated sex. It was the easiest way to distract him, and she was surprised he went with it. He wasn’t a fool. She knew, deep down, that he knew exactly what she was doing. But perhaps he felt she truly needed him in that way, so he obliged her. She couldn’t think of any other reason that would stop him from calling her out on her behavior. She did need reassurance and comfort. But it wasn’t anything Bill could provide.

Blinking away a tear, she turned his face to hers and kissed him, pushing him down on the bed.

*****

Bill knew that his wife didn’t take him for a fool. Something was going on with her. She’d been distant, almost distracted for weeks now, and her attempts to divert his focus on her behavior with sex only fueled his upset. And that’s exactly what it was. Sex. Her mind was elsewhere. She was trying too hard to entice him to allow her love for him to come into play.

He looked at her, lying beside him in bed with her back to him. His mind flashed on her riding him just moments before. Instead of the tight coil of pleasure he normally felt when joined with her, he felt a wave of nausea as he watched her hide behind closed eyes. He’d come, and she’d fake it, kissing his brow as he came down from his release. It was becoming a routine, one he found he could no longer stomach. He was angry, but resisted lashing out. It wouldn’t help. She’d only retreat further from him. This was who she was. She never let anyone in all the way, despite his hope that maybe things had changed as far as he was concerned. But there were a few chinks in her armor, and Bill decided to go for the biggest one.

Sliding closer, he slid an arm around her waist and gathered her hair, placing it on the pillow to allow him access to her neck. He kissed the soft skin there, cuddling as close as possible to her.  Her hand came up to grasp his, clutching it tightly.

“You worry me, Laura. You know that.” His voice was a whisper, in a tone he knew would seize her heart.

“I’m sorry.”

“You know you can tell me anything.”

“I know.”

“You can’t shut me out forever, Laura. I won’t live like that.” He squeezed her hand before letting it go and withdrawing from her, leaving her alone in their bed.

Laura lay there in the dark for hours, not moving. Barely breathing. She listened for Bill in the other room, but he’d been quiet since he left her. She was being foolish. She should tell him what was wrong. If there even was anything wrong. Perhaps she’d been over thinking the whole thing, worrying over nothing. But no, she could feel that something in her was not right. Something had changed. She just couldn’t understand what she was feeling, couldn’t even describe it. It was almost as if there was a second consciousness she had to be aware of. Perhaps Elizabeth could help her understand.

She rose from the bed, finding her nightgown in the dark and pulling it over her head. Opening the bedroom door, she found Bill on the sofa, one candle on the table in front of him. The flame reflected in his glasses as read the thick volume in his hands.

He didn’t look her way, but moved over to allow her room. When she sat beside him, she did not speak, nor could she. She had nothing to offer him but white lies and false comfort. Instead, she slid under his arm and wrapped herself around him. It wasn’t long after he began to read aloud that she fell asleep.

*****

Laura studied the ground beneath her boots as she walked the now almost familiar path to town. She could hear Sullivan and Nealon following not too far behind her. She’d been surprised at how easy it was to leave Bill behind. She assumed he’d want to accompany her, as he did several days earlier when she went to visit with Elizabeth. She’d left him with Saul, and with Sullivan close behind her, had no problem spending time with her friend without her husband’s presence.

She took a deep breath as she remembered the visit, knowing that for as long as she might live this time, she’d never be able to forget the blonde’s knowing smile as she listened to Laura describe what she’d been feeling.

“Laura,” Elizabeth had reached out to her, placing her hand on her arm. “You aren’t malfunctioning. You aren’t even sick. You’re pregnant.”

Laura shook her head at the words, wanted to protest that it was impossible at her age, but then she remembered that it was now very possible, and the tent began to spin around her. “I don’t think…”

Elizabeth gripped her arm tightly. “What you’re feeling is the baby. We have a unique gift in that we can feel our children’s consciousness before it’s born. Of course we never knew this until Hera. But with more than a few Cylons pregnant now, we know it wasn’t a trait unique to Athena. What you describe is exactly what the other mothers have experienced. You should talk with them. It might help.”

The thought of talking about it with other mothers,  _other Cylons_ , had made her ill. She had declined the offer, and asked Elizabeth to keep what they’d discussed to herself. She knew there was only one person who could confirm the explanation Elizabeth had given her.

It had taken her nearly a week to work up the nerve. As she approached the makeshift Sick Bay tent in town, she realized she still had no idea what she was hoping Cottle’s tests would reveal. Gesturing to the two guards behind her to stay where they were, she steeled herself and entered the tent.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura visits Cottle to confirm her suspicions.

Laura sat on a bed in Galactica’s Sick Bay, watching as one of the nurses she did not recognize ready the ultrasound machine. Her mind idly wandered to a time in the not so distant future when a test like this would no longer be available, and she shuddered, grateful that time had not yet come. She had to  _see_. She had to know.

The young nurse approached her. “We’ll have you lie down now.”

Laura did as instructed and watched as the woman disappeared behind the curtain surrounding the bed, presumably to get Cottle. She’d been adamant she wanted no one else present during the exam. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing her nerves to calm. Cottle’s demeanor hadn’t helped when she’d walked into the tent and asked for the test. He was distant with her, and it was unsettling to Laura. He grunted, instructing her to head over to Galactica and drink several bottles of water, adding that he’d be there as soon as he could. She no longer had a watch to keep track of how long he’d kept her waiting, but her bladder was sufficiently and painfully full by the time he’d breezed in and instructed the nurse to prepare the needed machine.

She smelled him now, before he pulled back the curtain. The familiar scent of tobacco mixed with antiseptic had her nerves back on edge as he entered, closing the curtain behind him.

“Let’s see what we have here, shall we?” He reached for the hem of her shirt and paused. “May I?”

Laura nodded and watched as he shifted her clothing and then reached for a bottle on a tray behind him. “This will be cold,” he cautioned.

She sucked in a breath as the cold gel hit her exposed skin. Cottle then reached for the transducer and flipped on the ultrasound monitor. Her eyes closed at the sensation of the wand spreading the gel across her abdomen. Seconds felt like lifetimes in the ensuing silence. She kept her eyes shut until he asked, “Well? Do you want to see your baby?”

Her stomach dropped and her eyes welled with tears at his question. There was no longer room for doubt or denial. She opened her eyes and the tears fell, blurring the picture on the monitor. Cottle pointed to a tiny blip on the screen.

“It’s very hard to see, but that’s the heart. I’d guess you’re about-“

“I know.” Everything came together at once. Seeing the blurred sac on the screen negated her previous confusion. She remembered instantly the night of the hog roast in town, knew that that was the moment this all began.

Cottle nodded, his hand frozen in position on her belly. He stared at her, his face softening at her reaction. “Whatta ya say we get you cleaned up.” He flipped the machine off and placed the wand on the stand. “I’ll be right back.”

Laura tried to wipe her face, but the tears kept flowing. Cottle returned, handing her a soft cloth. “You take care of that,” he nodded to her face, “and I’ll take care of this.” He wiped the gel off her stomach carefully, showing a kind of gentleness she’d never really seen in him before. She bit her lip to keep the tears from starting again as he buttoned her pants and tugged her shirt back into place. Tugging on her hand, he helped her to a sitting position.

“We’re still learning about all this, but with Cylon pregnancies in the double digits now, I’d say we’re somewhat knowledgeable. How are your eating habits?”

Laura shrugged. “I find myself eating more for pleasure than necessity.”

“Good. But I’m ordering three meals a day for you. You may notice hunger, you may not. Either way, nutrition is still important for the baby. Have you been nauseous?”

“Not really, no.”

“Let me know if you experience any. I can’t do much, but there is an herb that some women find helpful to chew on. I can get some if you need it.”

She nodded. “Thanks.”

“Do you have any questions for me?”

“No,” she replied, with a shake of her head.

“Okay. I want to see you in four weeks. Earlier if you have any questions or concerns.”

Laura nodded. “Doc-“

“No one will know. I told Nurse Kemp that we were checking your bladder.”

“And she believed you?”

“It’s not a matter of what she believes. She knows to keep her mouth shut.”

“Okay.” She paused, considered the man before her. “Bill…”

“I don’t see him as often as I’d like. You know that. I assume he hasn’t a clue.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Well, that’s your business. “

“Thanks Doc.”

Cottle nodded, patting his coat pockets in a frantic search for a cigarette as he left her.

*****

Bill paced the short length of the main room of their cabin, furious.

Saul had just left, and during his visit had absently wondered to Bill why Laura had been visiting Cottle. Bill had had no idea his wife had been to the doctor, and found himself stammering out a reply to his best friend. She’d been gone for hours now. Whatever the problem was…  _no, not that…_ she was going to tell him. The moment she walked in the door.

He was at the door when she walked in, and she jumped upon seeing him. “Bill! You startled me! What are you doing?”

He looked her over with a critical eye. Her color was good, her hair was shiny, but her eyes were most definitely hiding something. When he spoke, his voice was harsher than he’d intended. “Where were you?”

She shook her head, mouth opening and closing while she searched her mind for an answer. “I told you-“

“No,” he cut her off. “You were not with Elizabeth. You were with Cottle.”

Although her posture remained unchanged, Bill swore her body slackened ever so slightly in defeat. “Bill…”

He raised a hand to stop her. “Is it…” He couldn’t speak the word cancer. The thought of it made his stomach turn.

Laura narrowed her eyes at him in confusion. When his gaze flickered down to her breasts, her hand shot to her mouth. “Oh no! Bill, no. It’s not… _that_. I’m perfectly healthy.” The guilt swirled within her at making him worry.

Bill closed his eyes in relief. “Okay. So, what is it?”

“Could I come in?”

He realized she was still standing in the doorway. “Yeah.” He stepped aside to let her enter and closed the door behind her.

She went to the stove, unloading the small bag she carried into the large pot they kept on the burner. “Vegetables. We can make some soup…”

“Laura.”

“I’m not avoiding, Bill. I just…I want us to stay like this. I don’t want it to change.”

“What’s going to change?”

“Everything.”

He approached her, stilling her hands as they emptied the vegetables into the pot.  Grabbing her gently by the shoulders, he turned her to him. “Tell me, Laura.”

She lifted her eyes to meet his, and he was taken aback by the tear that slid down her cheek. “I’m pregnant.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura have a discussion after her visit with Cottle.

_Bill approached her, stilling her hands as they emptied the vegetables into the pot.  Grabbing her gently by the shoulders, he turned her to him. “Tell me, Laura.”_

_She lifted her eyes to meet his, and he was taken aback by the tear that slid down her cheek. “I’m pregnant.”_  
  
Whatever Bill had imagined she would say, those words were furthest from his mind. He stared at her blankly for a few moments, his gaze shifting from her eyes to her belly, as if he would be able to see the evidence of her declaration. “Are you sure?”

Laura’s lips tightened in frustration at his question. Of course she was sure. Did he really think she’d tell him something like that without being absolutely sure? Taking a deep breath, she pushed past him, hanging her coat on the rack by the door. “Yes, I’m sure.”

He grabbed her arm as she passed him on the way to their bedroom. “Stop. We need to talk about this.”

“Not now. I’m not ready.” She gave him an apologetic look before disappearing into the bedroom.

A  _baby_.

He was going to be a father again.

They’d known it was a possibility with her age, but he’d never truly expected it. And now here it was. He was slightly troubled and more than a little frustrated by her response. Would she really be unhappy having a child?

*****

Laura sat on the edge of their bed, emotions swirling within her. She had realized that the child inside her wasn’t a new concept. She felt like she’d known now almost from the moment of conception. All her confusing feelings now made sense after seeing the tiny being growing within her. But there was the knowing, and then there was the accepting. Laura couldn’t quite get to that second part yet. On the one hand, this was her child. Hers and Bill’s. How could she not love it instantly? But on the other hand, everything would change. Laura wasn’t quite used to her life, her  _identity_ , as it was. How would having a baby help matters?

Sliding a hand over her still-flat stomach, Laura sighed. No matter how she felt, this baby was coming. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer to gods she wasn’t sure she believed in anymore.

*****

Bill stood on the other side of the bedroom door, desperately wanting to go in. They needed to talk about this.  _He_ needed to talk about this. But Laura was quite skilled at shutting people out when she wanted to. It was a trait he’d almost admired in the old days, when their relationship was purely business. Now, however, it was slightly maddening. He embraced his anger just enough, and opened the door.

Laura sat on the bed, her back to him. She didn’t react to his entry. He took a deep breath, doing his best to let go of his frustration. Moving to the bed, he sat beside her.

“Bill, please…”

“I know. But I couldn’t stay out there. We’ll just sit here.”

“No, we won’t. You’ll press the issue.”

“Why shouldn’t I? This is my child too, Laura. I need to talk about it.”

“And I’m telling you I can’t right now.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, Bill. I’m just…I don’t know how I feel about it. I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around it and I can’t.”

“It takes time. When I found out about Lee-“

“It’s not a very new concept for me.”

“What does that mean?”

Laura sighed. Part of her did want to talk about it. At least one aspect of it that she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to understand. “I think I’ve known for awhile now.”

“You think?”

“It’s hard to explain. I wasn’t sure. Sometimes I thought I might be going crazy. But when Cottle confirmed it today, it wasn’t a complete shock.”

“Lots of women feel that way. Your body changes.”

“No, this wasn’t like that. I was…conscious of it. This other person inside of me. I could feel its presence. Gods, that sounds so crazy.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t know what I was experiencing. For all I knew, it was some Cylon thing. Or maybe there was another flaw in my design, and I was malfunctioning. I just didn’t know.”

“Oh Laura.” Bill wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest. “You’ve got to tell me these things.”

“I was scared. And I didn’t want to frighten you, too.”

Bill kissed the top of her head. “I only get scared when you keep things from me.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“Caught. But that doesn’t change the fact that you need to stop shutting me out.”

Laura nodded her head against his chest. “I’ll try harder.”

“Good.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, thoughts heavy in the air. Bill decided to test the waters. “What about it bothers you?”

Laura sat up, taking a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t know. It’s not us, Bill. I never pictured us as parents.”

“Me neither.”

“You should have peace and quiet in your home. This is your retirement.”

Bill laughed in spite of the heavy conversation. “It’s not like I’m going to resent our child being here, Laura.”

“No, no. I know. It’s just a big change.”

“Yes, it will be. Like everything else about the last several years of our lives.”

“Again with the quiet acceptance.”

Bill shrugged. “It’s who I am, Laura. Besides, this is our child we’re talking about. Not exactly a devastating blow.”

“Really?”

He shook his head. “Gods, Laura. What did you think I’d feel about it?”

“I thought you’d be accepting. It’s your way.” She offered him a soft smile before continuing. “But honestly, Bill. What are you thinking?”

He paused for a moment, rubbing his palms on his pants. “Well, I’m gonna have to change diapers again. Thought that was happily behind me. We’ll have to find clothes and a cradle. Those have been in short supply forever. And I’m going to have to listen to Saul bust my ass about being a very old father.”

“That’s it? You’re not nervous? Unsure?”

“My career has trained me to deal in facts first.”

“But I know firsthand that your emotions have crept in more than once in your career.”

“Yes. But I’m not concerned about my emotions here, Laura. I’ve been here before. I know I’m going to love this child. Won’t you?”

Laura opened and closed her mouth, searching for words and failing. Of course she would love the baby. What did he think-

Bill smiled as he watched her face, his point finally registering. “It won’t be easy, Laura. But we can do this.”

She offered a slight nod in response. “Cottle says I have to eat, even if I don’t feel hungry. You wanna help me with that soup?”

He smiled. “I’ll check with Saul too, see about getting some meat up here on a regular basis.”

She wrinkled her nose as they left the bedroom. “Let’s not go overboard. The meat I’ve seen lately doesn’t do much for my appetite.”

“Do you have an appetite?”

Laura looked at him curiously. “You mean, right now? Or in general?”

“In general, I guess.” He avoided her gaze as he reached around her for the vegetables she’d tossed into the pot.

“Well…sometimes, I suppose I do. Usually when I see something I like. But food doesn’t seem necessary to me. I think we’ve established that.”

“But Cottle says it’s necessary for the baby?”

“Yes. I guess cause it’s…”

_Half human_. Neither had to say it. Bill nodded and asked, ‘Skin, or no skin?”

Laura looked at the potato in his hand. “No skin.”

“So, what else did Cottle say?”

“He said I might experience nausea, which I figured.”

“But you haven’t.”

She smiled. There was no way she would have been able to keep it from him if she had. “I’ve been lucky.”

“Did he give you a picture?”

“What kind of picture?”

“You know, of the baby. On the ultrasound.”

“Oh. Um, no. He didn’t. I didn’t even think-“

“It’s okay.”

Laura noticed a hint of disappointment in his voice, in spite of his words. She bit her lip.  _This is what happens when you shut people out_. “He wants to see us again in four weeks.”

Bill grinned, picking up on her use of the word  _us_. “I didn’t get to go through a lot with the boys. It’ll be nice to have the opportunity now.”

*****

After the soup was eaten and the dishes were cleared, they retired to the couch. Laura had picked up the crime novel she’d been reading, but Bill had dug through some boxes and come up with alternative reading material for himself –  _The Pregnancy Guidebook_ , and  _A Mother’s Manual_. Well, he certainly was making the most of the opportunity, she thought.

She bit back a laugh when he pulled his pen out and began making notes.

“I hear you over there. You find this amusing?” He kept his eyes glued to the book before him.

“No. Actually I find it quite adorable.”

He dropped the pen and reached out for her bare foot, resting just inches from his leg. He gave it a squeeze before letting it rest on top, his index finger making lazy circles on her skin. She’d gotten through half a chapter before he stopped his ministrations.

“Laura?”

“What?”

“How far along are you?” He said it in a tone that indicated he could not believe he hadn’t asked already.

She reached out to his hand with her own. “The hog roast.”

He looked at her in confusion. “You mean, you know when it happened?”

“Yeah. It makes sense now, but I didn’t really get it then.”

Bill had dropped the book, turning his body, and all his attention, to her. “Well, how did you know? Did you feel something?”

“I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Try.”

She grinned at him, his face full of boyish curiosity. “It was like…a connection. Like a thing-“  She motioned between them, “was tying us together.” She shrugged. “Sounds kinda silly, huh?”

“No. “

“Well, I’d never felt anything quite like it. I didn’t think it particularly meant anything, but it was so wonderful I never forgot it.”

Bill leaned in and kissed her, taking the book from her hands and pulling her up off the couch. He walked her to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura visits an old adversary.

Bill sat on the couch, trying to focus on the book in his hands. He’d woken earlier, just as the sun was rising, to find Laura in a deep sleep. That was rare for her, almost unnatural. She didn’t really need sleep; rather, she’d trained her body to fall into a light slumber. And she was either always awake before he was, or immediately after he’d stirred. But this morning she just nestled deeper under the covers when he sat up. He got out of bed slowly, stepped into his slippers and tiptoed out of the room without making a sound.

The watch on the table before him said he’d been awake for nearly an hour now. But he found himself grateful for the time to gather his thoughts. He hadn’t lied to Laura about his feelings toward the baby, but he’d put forth a confidence he hadn’t quite embraced yet. There was so much to consider, it could easily become overwhelming. His first concern was for his wife, and her health. Women had been having babies for all of time, but it was no secret that they’d lost many medical advances from the Colonies. They just didn’t have the resources here. He made a mental note to discuss it with Cottle when Laura wasn’t around.

Supplies. What would the baby wear, where would it sleep? What would they use for diapers? Lee had mentioned that several babies had been born since they’d settled, so they wouldn’t be the first to encounter these issues. That was a small relief. Someone out there would have some advice.

_Lee_. What would he think about the baby? He hadn’t been the best father to his son. He wanted to make up for that, but didn’t want to remind Lee of what he went without as a child. He stopped short of using the word  _jealousy_. Toddlers were jealous of babies. Not grown men.

And aside from all that, he had his own feelings to consider. He told Laura he’d love the baby, and he knew he would. But having a tiny infant in the cabin that needed constant tending to was most definitely not something he was prepared for. Laura was right, it wasn’t who they were. But that would have to change. Fairly quickly. He wanted to mourn the impending loss of their current lifestyle, but felt guilty for doing so.

He’d lain awake for hours the night before, his mind racing. The one thought that kept bobbing to the surface was that this was another chance for him. He knew, deep in his heart, that he could be a good father, if given the opportunity again. He could have blamed their lifestyle, his upbringing, his career on his first two failed attempts at fatherhood, but when it came right down to it, he knew the fault lay squarely within him. He was barely around the boys for a myriad of reasons, and it never truly bothered him. He felt Carolanne was all they needed. And when it became apparent that they needed their father’s presence, he’d provided a stern one, not unlike his steely approach to his command. It was too much, and too late. He loved them, but had never really showed it.

And now, there would be another. Maybe a girl this time, although the thought was mildly frightening. Bill knew boys. He didn’t know the first thing about little girls. But whatever it turned out to be, Bill found that he desperately wanted to right all the wrongs from his past. He wanted the chance to love this baby, and watch it grow.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a warm hand running through his hair. “What’re you doing?”

“Trying to be quiet so I wouldn’t wake you.”

“Hmmm. Good job.”

He opened his eyes to see her standing above him, her robe tied loosely around her waist. She was smiling, her hand still in his hair.

“How long have you been up?”

“Bout an hour.”

“I was sleepy.”

“I guessed.”

“I’d forgotten how nice it is to be tired.”

Bill laughed. “I wish you could go back a few years and tell us both that sentiment.”

She hummed in agreement, remembering how exhausting life in the fleet had been for them. Some days, she could barely catch her breath. And now, she had all the time in the world to be lazy and nap, and her body didn’t really need sleep. At least, not until pregnancy.

Bill reached for her, shifting over on the couch and pulling her down next to him. “I think someone’s still sleepy.”

Laura rested her head on his shoulder. “Not really. Just lazy.”

“I’m not gonna argue with that.” His hand found her leg, his fingers sliding up and down her bare skin.

“That’s nice,” she whispered, her lips brushing his neck.

“Close your eyes, Laura.”

“Mm’kay.”

“In some ways, your body is working harder than it would if you were climbing a mountain.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “How much of those books have you read in the past week, anyway?”

“Not much. A decent amount.”

“Good. Then you can continue to feed me these random facts.”

“You’re not going to read them too?”

“No. Your enthusiasm is a good vehicle.”

An easy silence enveloped them, and just as Bill had closed his eyes, Laura spoke.

“Bill?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re okay with all this, right? You’re being honest with me?”

“Yes, and yes.”

Laura let out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. She needed him to be okay with this. She wanted him to be happy, not simply accepting of things. She also wanted that happiness for herself. She didn’t want to just  _accept_  this child. She wanted to get to a place where she would be excited for its arrival. She cursed herself, thinking of the end of the worlds and how she had so much thrown at her all at once, and she’d just rolled with the punches, never once flinching. But a second chance at life and a baby with the man she loved had her wringing her hands and second guessing everything. But perhaps the former was the reason for the latter.

“Laura?” Bill’s voice stopped her train of thought.

“Yes?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking…I’d like to start a garden. Plant our own vegetables. It’ll be nice to make some of our own food, don’t you think?”

The slight pause before he replied gave away that he knew that was not what she’d been thinking about. “Yes, I think that would be good. But my green thumb is more of a brown color. Can you grow things?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never tried.”

“Well, we’ll learn together.”

*****

The sun was high and bright as Laura and Sullivan walked along the outskirts of the camp. They had dropped Bill off with Saul, who was headed out to the ship yard, as it was now called, to mine some of the smaller, older ships for supplies and sundry needed for shelter. Some people preferred living in tents, but many were upgrading to better structures made from ship steel. Laura had no idea how the people chose who got what. She made a mental note to ask Lee. Everything seemed orderly and calm.

“It’s up that way.” Sullivan pointed to a sloping hill on the northwest corner of the camp. Laura could see a small shack-like structure at the base of the hill, with rows of crops running alongside.

“Well, he’s certainly keeping busy.”

“People say he’s responsible for twenty percent of the camp’s produce supply.”

Laura let Sullivan’s words sink in. She bit back a smile. “At least he’s responsible for something positive this time.”

As they got closer to the farm, they could see workers in the field tending to the crops. The sight was breathtaking, and Laura could not help but smile this time. There were bushels of produce piled close to the shack, ready for distribution to the people. This had been her dream. A place for the people to live and grow and prosper.

The man at the center of it all approached them slowly, but confidently. This was his domain, his home, his work. A curious smile spread across his face as he offered his hand. “Laura. So good to see you.”

“Gaius.” She shook his hand, her eyes still darting around.

“Had I known you were coming, I’d have cleaned up a bit.”

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. I apologize for coming unannounced, but we were in town and I thought I’d stop by.”

“Oh. Okay then. Would you, ah, like to come in?”

“Actually, I was wondering if you could give me some pointers on starting a garden. Bill and I would like to try growing some of our own food.”

“Oh! Yes, of course. Yes. Come, come.” Laura noticed his demeanor relax fully once she disclosed her reason for visiting.

“As you’ll see here,” he pointed to the full bushels she had spied just moments before, “These potatoes are ready to be eaten. Our production is growing steadily. It’s quite exciting.”

“I agree. This is amazing, Gaius. How fortunate were we to have a botanical cruiser in the fleet?”

“I know. The sheer amount of seeds they’d guarded over the years is astounding. Some crops don’t do well in our new climate, but we’ve got a good variety thus far.”

“Is that an apple tree?”

Gaius grinned. “Yes! It’s doing well. I was nervous, as we only have two of those that had reached maturity. But as you can see, it’s thriving.”

“I’m amazed that people aren’t stampeding for food.”

“Well, the staff of the botanical cruiser was wonderful. Right from the start, they explained that anyone who wanted to grow their own food was welcome to, but we needed to figure out what was sustainable out here first. Now that we’ve got a good idea, the plants and seeds are being distributed in an orderly fashion. The people that choose not to garden must either fish, hunt for meat, or help prepare meals for their block. So far, we’ve managed to stave off anarchy.”

“Gaius, is everything okay?”

Laura turned to the shack to see Caprica standing in the doorway. Their eyes met, and Laura offered a wave.

“Yes, everything’s fine. Laura wants to learn about gardening and growing crops.”

“Well then I’d say that you’re in the right place.”

There was something different about the tall blonde. Laura studied for her a moment before she remembered seeing her at the meeting on Galactica with a pregnant belly. She was now thin and back in her form-fitting clothes. “Did you…” Laura began to speak before she realized she could not finish her question. Caprica had lost a child once, what if the same had happened again?

But she smiled happily. “Yes. Would you like to meet him?”

Gaius piped up. “Yes, please, go inside. I’ll be right with you both.”

For reasons she could not explain, her heart began to pound as she approached the shack and followed Caprica inside. There was not much light inside with only one window by the door. They had two cots pushed together, and a small stove. Seeing it all made Laura realize just how lucky she and Bill were in this new life. Nestled in blankets on the bed was a tiny baby. Her eyes widened, and she could not tear her gaze from the newborn even as Caprica began to speak.

“He’s two weeks old. And a good baby. Or maybe I just don’t mind being kept up at night.”

Laura offered a short laugh, moving closer to the baby. He was tiny. Impossibly small. Blissfully ignorant of all that had come before him.

“Would you like to hold him?”

“Yes.” The answer was out of her mouth before she had time to process the question.

Caprica leaned down and picked her son up, planting a soft kiss to his cheek. “This is Laura. Do you want to say hello?”

Laura reached out with greedy hands and transferred the baby to her arms. His eyes popped open from being disturbed, and then slowly began to close once more as he settled into Laura’s arms.

“He gets tired after a feeding.”

Laura tore her eyes from the baby. “You mean, you can…”

“Breastfeed? Yes, of course.”

There was a relief from a worry she hadn’t realized she’d been experiencing. Turning back to the baby, she asked, “Does he have a name?”

“Lucas.”

Laura repeated the name, stroking the infant’s cheek. Is this what it would be like to hold her own child? The more she stared at the baby, the more she felt Caprica staring at her. And when she finally met the other woman’s gaze, Laura knew that she knew. She wasn’t sure if it was a Cylon thing, or just her behavior tipping her off, but without a doubt, Caprica knew she was with child.

For the briefest of moments, Laura found herself wanting to ask a million questions. Caprica stepped closer, as if she were ready and willing to provide answers. But Gaius chose that moment to come inside and the opportunity was lost.

“I see you’re becoming acquainted with the newest member of the Baltar family,” said Gaius. “He’s got my nose, but fortunately, the rest of him is his mother.”

Caprica smiled, stepping over to her husband and sliding an arm around him. Laura nodded in agreement with Gaius’ sentiment. “He’s beautiful.”

“Can I offer you some tea? We have actual tea now.”

“Oh, no. Really. I shouldn’t take up your time. We’ve got to head back soon.” Laura looked around for Sullivan, just realizing that he was not by her side. She spotted him in the doorway of the shack, standing guard.

“Well, let me get you some seeds and supplies. The Dispatch was also kind enough to print off a tip sheet for growing the majority of the crops. I’ll get you a copy.”

As he exited, Laura stepped closer to Caprica and handed the baby back. “He really is beautiful, Caprica. I’m happy for you both.”

The other woman nodded, opening her mouth to speak, but not finding words. Laura placed her hand on her arm, just under the baby’s blanket. They shared a look, one that addressed not only their complicated history, but also the knowledge that they were alike now in more ways than either of them had expected. The baby stirred in sleep, letting out a tiny sigh. Laura smiled at him before turning and exiting the shack.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura enjoy the fruits of Baltar's labor.

“Baltar gave you all this stuff?”

Laura sat on the floor in the middle of the cabin, surrounded by various seedlings and tiny bags of seeds. “Yes. See? These are tomatoes. Well, they will be. And these will be eggplants. Gaius said we have better conditions here on the hill for growing things. Tomatoes need good sunlight. Or was it the sweet pepper?” She picked up the gardening tip sheet. “Or maybe it was both…”

“And when can we eat this stuff? Next week?”

“Oh! Speaking of eating, look what else we got!” Laura reached into her sack and pulled out a shiny apple. “The apple tree is thriving.”

Bill bent down and took the fruit from her, inspecting it. “This is a real apple?”

“Yes. There aren’t many of those to go around.”

“Did he poison it?”

“You don’t have to risk it. I’ll eat your half.”

Bill pursed his lips. “Nice try.” He glanced around at the tiny plants and other paraphernalia on the floor. “Anything else currently edible?”

Laura raised her eyebrows suggestively as she pulled a small bag of leaves out of her sack and dangled it in front of him.

“New Caprican weed?”

“Tea, Bill. Real tea.”

“How in the world?” He reached for the bag, still clutching the ripe apple in one hand.

“A small group that went exploring to the West came back with a bunch of stuff. It’s not something we’ll have in abundance, but it’s native to the area.”

“Another rare item.”

Laura nodded. “And your point is?”

“Why is he giving it to you?”

“I don’t know, Bill. Peace offering?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, indicating that she should know better.

“Okay, okay. Maybe not that. But you know, he’s different now-“

“A changed man.”

“Call it what you want. He’s contributing to society in a positive way.  He’s no longer a threat to the people.”

“And what if he became one?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Humor me.”

“Why is this bothering you so much?”

“I just want to know what you’d do if he, or anyone else, posed a threat to our way of life.”

Laura clenched her jaw as she began cleaning up the items around her. “Caprica had her baby.”

“Saul mentioned that to me last week.”

“Do you think it’s hard for him?”

“I don’t know.” His tone was clipped.  “He didn’t mention Liam, and I didn’t want to bring it up.”

“He looks like a healthy baby.”

“You saw him?”

Laura nodded, head down, eyes focused on organizing the tiny seedlings.

“Did you tell Caprica about-“

“No!” She sighed, looking at Bill as a thought occurred to her. “Did  _you_  tell anyone?”

“No. We’ll decide that together, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t know if maybe you’d talked to Saul about it.”

“Not without your okay.”

“Maybe you need someone to talk to.”

He gave her a funny look. “I have you to talk to.”

She didn’t reply. Instead she stood and began bringing her newly acquired items to his desk, placing them in neat piles and rows. The seedlings found a home close to the edge, in a sliver of sunlight. She stepped back, surveying the situation until she was content that her new charges would be happy for the moment in their new home.

Bill sat down on the couch and watched as she crossed to the stove, and picked up a small knife before heading back in his direction. “Now, shall we eat that apple?”

He smiled as she took the bag of tea leaves from his hand and placed them on the table. Instead of sitting beside him, she hiked up her skirt and straddled his legs. His free hand rested on her hip while he held the precious fruit between them. She took it from him, inspecting it from all angles like a child with a new toy.

“I almost want to wait,” she confessed.

Bill chuckled as she brought the knife to the fruit and pierced the skin. A drop of juice escaped and Laura stopped it with her finger, offering it to him. “You first.”

He took her finger in his mouth and licked the juice off slowly. Their eyes locked, the fruit nearly forgotten until more juice trickled down her arm. She giggled, offering up her forearm. “Waste not, want not.”

Bill licked the trail of juice on her skin, working his way up to her hand. She playfully pushed him away before he reached the apple. Turning her attention to the fruit, she cut off a small piece and offered it to him, placing it in his opened mouth before carving a slice for herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten an apple. Apples were a normal thing, just a part of life that people took for granted. Sometimes she’d buy a bunch and they’d sit for weeks on her counter until she’d have to toss them. They were never something she’d craved, merely something she’d settled for.

But now, as the sweet bitterness exploded in her mouth, she realized she’d probably crave them every day for the rest of her life. She closed her eyes, wanting to focus solely on the food in her mouth.

Bill observed her as he finished his own piece. Seeing her so enthralled with something made him happy. It gave him hope that it was one more step toward finally accepting herself. She opened her eyes and giggled at seeing him watch her so intently.

“Enjoying the show?”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“Mmmkay. Another piece.” She methodically cut two more slices from the apple, offering him one of them. This time, she watched him eat, and curiosity got the better of her. She leaned in and kissed him, savoring the sweet combined taste of her lover and the fruit. He began squeezing her hips, pulling her closer. Laura hummed into his mouth as she released his lips. Undaunted, he began kissing her neck, working his way to her ear.

“Bill…”

“Mm hmm?” His lips vibrated on her throat and she shivered.

“I…I want to…”

He gave her earlobe a gentle suck before pulling back. “You want to finish the apple.”

Laura smiled apologetically. “Yes, I do.”

“Fine. But we’ll do it in bed.”

Before she knew what was happening, his arm tightened around her waist and he pushed himself off the couch, lifting her up with him. She yelped, arms and legs instinctively winding around him.

“Bill! Put me down!”

“Careful with that knife,” he warned, moving them to the bedroom.

“But we’ll make a mess on the sheets!”

“No more than usual,” he countered, kicking the door shut behind them.

****

“I’m sticky.”

“You’re the one who just  _had_  to finish the apple.”

“Please just go get me a wet cloth.”

“I was hoping you’d let me lick it off.”

“My Gods. How old are you? I swear, you’re never satisfied.”

“Oh, I’m satisfied. I just want to be satisfied all the time.”

She pushed at him playfully. “Wet cloth. Please.”

“Okay, I’m going.”

She watched as he got out of bed, bent down and put his boxer shorts on. She had to admit, for a man over sixty, he still had a fine ass. The thought made her grin, and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

“Anything else while I’m out there?”

“A glass of water, please.” She gave him a sweet smile.

He shook his head and raised a hand in acknowledgment as he headed to the main room.

Laura stretched out, fixing their pillows and retrieving their sheet and blanket from their positions dangling off the bed. She was kicking at the covers when Bill returned, glass of water in one hand, a candle in the other. A damp cloth was draped over his arm. He offered the glass to her before setting the candle on the nightstand.

“Will there be anything else?”

“Yes. You. Naked. In bed.”

“As you wish.”

She took a long drink while he kicked off his boxers and got back into bed. He pulled the covers down to expose her fully, and she yelled in protest.

“Are you sticky, or not?” He held the wet cloth up as an offering.

“Yes,” she sighed.

She watched him as he ran the cloth over her arms and legs and chest. Truthfully, only her hands were truly sticky. But she knew that he enjoyed caring for her in this way. And if she allowed herself another truth, she enjoyed it too.

“Laura, I want to ask you something.”

“What?”

“I was serious when I asked you before – what would you do if someone or something posed a threat to the people?”

Laura took a deep breath and sighed, reaching out to still his ministrations across her belly. She knew what he was asking. It was about ten different questions rolled into one. And she didn’t have any answers for him. She watched him, waited until he met her gaze. “I don’t know.”

“But you’d want to do something.”

“Why is this important right now?”

Bill tossed the cloth to the floor and pulled the sheet back over her, slipping in beside her. “I guess it isn’t important right now. Not until you make it important.”

“And you think I should?”

“I think sometimes I wonder if all this is enough for you.”

“Bill, if this is-“

“This is not about me, Laura. This is about you. What you saw on that farm today. Look me in the eye and tell me you weren’t the least bit envious of Baltar’s ability to provide for the people.”

Laura shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. “I guess it’s like you say – if I give it proper thought, then yes, sometimes I do still want to be of service.” She propped herself up on one arm, her thoughts giving her steam. “But how is that any different than you missing life up there?” She gestured to the sky.

“Because that’s no longer an option for me.”

“And what if it was?”

“Then I’d say I’d have some thinking to do. But we aren’t talking about me here.”

“Bill, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m settling into my life here. And you know, this is all going to change pretty soon.”

His eyes followed hers to her stomach, his hand reaching out to cradle the still-flat terrain of her waist. “Yeah. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine. Little sleepy, but you know that-“

“That’s not what I meant.”

She shrugged. “I’m okay. Maybe still in a state of shock.”

“I want you to be happy, Laura.”

“I know that. And I am. I’m adjusting pretty well, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I think you’ve come a long way.”

They shared a smile, and Bill leaned down and kissed her belly before settling in beside her for an early evening nap.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill faces old demons after Laura ends up in sick bay.

He should be at home with Laura.

He should be tending to her every need.

He was a coward for leaving her at home with only her guards outside the door.

He’d lied to her when he said he was going into camp for supplies. They didn’t need anything. But  _he_  needed something.

The alcohol was rough and comforting as it slid down his throat. He closed his eyes as he waited for the blissful oblivion to take hold, and erase the last 24 hours from his mind.

*****

He’d woken up the previous morning to Laura grabbing him in a panic. Her voice was high and shrill, which terrified him.

“Bill! The baby…”

Any remaining sleepiness he’d been feeling was gone when he saw the blood in the bed.

“Laura, what happened?”

“I don’t know.” Tears fell freely down her face as she clutched at her middle with blood stained hands. “Hurts…” She winced, curling herself around her belly.

“Okay, okay.” Bill jumped from the bed and raced to the front door, opening it and yelling for the guards. Sullivan and Nealon were before him in seconds, hands on their weapons.

“No weapons. We need to get her to Galactica.”

They followed him into the bedroom and went around to Laura’s side of the bed while Bill grabbed a shirt and hastily threw it on. “Nealon, Doc Cottle usually stays on Galactica, but I need you to run ahead and make sure he’s not in the med tent. We’ll meet you at the clearing.”

Nealon shot up with a nod and ran out the door. Sullivan was not idle, pulling the sheets away from Laura and scooping her up in his arms. He didn’t wait for Bill’s lead, but pushed past him and ran out the door. Bill would later feel very grateful for the young man’s readiness and strength in the moment. There was no way he could have run all the way to the ship carrying Laura.

The next hour was a haze of lab coats, cigarette smoke, and beeping monitors. Cottle had diagnosed Laura with having a partial abruption. Something about the placenta starting to tear away from the uterine wall. After reassuring Laura many times that the baby would be okay, Cottle left them alone behind a closed curtain.

Laura’s eyes were closed, but Bill knew she wasn’t sleeping. He watched the heart monitors, the most tangible proof of the baby’s continued strength.

“Did you read about this?” Laura’s voice nearly made him jump.

“What?”

She opened her eyes and looked at him. “In your books about babies. Did they say anything about this sort of thing?”

“I don’t think so. Not that I can remember.”

“Scary.”

He nodded, leaning over and kissing her forehead. “It’s all right now. You heard Cottle.”

“I heard bed rest.”

“You gonna complain about that?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Good.”

Bill sat by her side all night. No one told him to leave, and no one advised him to make himself comfortable in one of the empty beds. They left him alone, and that was when the ache in his throat had started. He focused on the beeping monitors, the baby’s heart rate much faster than Laura’s. Some time deep in the night, he began to realize what he could have lost. The ache in his throat became a throbbing in his head, a tremor in his hands. Everything could have been ripped away from him again, and the thought caused a pain so sharp it made him gasp for breath.

By the time Laura woke the following morning, Bill knew he needed a drink.

 

And now, his belly full of liquor of unknown origin, his head had ceased throbbing, his hands were as steady as a surgeon’s. His mind was becoming fuzzy, and he released a breath he was unaware he’d been holding.  The remainder of the bottle slid easily down his throat as he let go of the worry, the pain, the fear of loss.

*****

Bill was drunk.

Not a little bit tipsy. Completely and totally bent.

He reeked of alcohol. It was on his breath, his clothes, and his skin. Her body’s response was to send her stomach rolling, threatening to send back that evening’s dinner. She was angry and disgusted, and she wanted him out of the cabin.

Once Cottle had released her from sick bay, they’d headed home. Bill had ordered two of her guards to stand by the door of the cabin just in case. Laura thought it was overkill, but she kept her opinion to herself. She was getting undressed when Bill mentioned going back down to camp for some supplies. She wanted to question what they could possibly need, but he was out the door so fast she hadn’t had the opportunity. She’d nestled into bed not long after he left, candle on the nightstand and book in her hands. She’d gotten through eighteen chapters of  _Thieves in the Night_ before her eyes grew heavy. She blew out the candle and placed the book on the nightstand, letting sleep take her.

She was jostled awake by a heavy hand on her breast. His mouth planted sloppy kisses on her neck. Laura knew before the smell hit her that he’d been drinking. This had been a sad routine before her cancer had dictated more lengthy stays in sick bay. She’d tolerated it then, but barely. Bill’s hand began to squeeze her breast, his mouth moving down to her collarbone.

“Bill.”

He grunted, pushing her shoulder down on the mattress to give himself better access. His mouth found her breast, his hands pulling her nightgown down and out of the way. She pushed at his hands, but he persisted.

“Shhh. It’s okay now. No more cancer.”

“Bill, get off me.”

“No, no. You like this, remember?” His other hand had made its way to her right breast, giving it the same sort of rough attention.

“Not like this. You’re drunk.”

He mumbled something against her skin, but the only words Laura could make out were ‘spine’ and ‘glow’. That was the final straw. Laura grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked hard. He sat up with a shout, and she slid out of bed.

“That hurt.” He rubbed at his head.

“Good. Now get out.”

Bill gave her a dazed look. “Where will I go?”

“I don’t care. You’re drunk, and I won’t have that in my house.”

“Oh. So now it’s  _your_  house. You seem to forget that this place wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for me.” He dragged himself off the bed and stumbled toward the door.

She didn’t want to argue. There was no point, as he wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning. They both jumped as someone pounded on the door to the cabin. “Ma’am? Laura? Everything okay in there?”

She huffed in frustration. “Great.”

The pounding on the door continued until Laura opened it. Sullivan, Nealon, and Pierson stood on the steps, hands poised on their holstered weapons. “Ma’am? Everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Sullivan looked past her to check out the situation, his eyes locking on Bill in the bedroom doorway. “Do you need help with anything?”

“No, no. Really. It’s okay. Thank you.” She quickly shut the door on them, turning back to Bill. He stood with his hands clasped in front of him, his head bowed. It never took long for him to sober up.

She walked back to the bedroom, brushing past him and retrieving his pillow from the bed. She ought to keep it, but it already reeked of alcohol. She threw it at him, amazed to see him catch it.

“The couch is yours. And may the Gods help you if you dare come back into this bedroom.”

*****

Laura knew sleep would never come, so she curled up on the bed and lay silently, her mind whirling. She should have known when he left in such a hurry. But they were both exhausted and stressed…

 The last time he’d reached for the bottle, their lives were in a downward spiral. Everything he loved was slipping from his grasp. And that had almost happened again.

Laura sighed, turning over. They had been so focused on her issues, they’d neglected his. Sure, she’d inquired a few times, but he seemed so accepting, so happy. She never pushed. And now they were going to have a baby. Her hand curled protectively around her belly. Her waist had just recently started to thicken and she’d been almost excited at that, at having tangible proof of her pregnancy. She’d relaxed a little at being able to see it, as opposed to just that echoing feeling in her mind.

She wanted to tell herself, tell the baby, that everything would be just fine. But something inside her would not allow the comfort, and she lay wide awake until dawn.

*****

He’d frakked up.

Big time.

His heart was pounding in time with his head as he lay on the couch in the early morning light. It had been awhile since his last hangover, and he’d nearly forgotten how dreadful the feeling was.  Yet it was nothing compared to the guilt he felt at leaving his wife in order to drink his emotions away. Alcohol had never been a problem. Not before the end of the worlds and their lives falling to pieces.  He’d quit drinking heavily after Laura died, and foolishly thought that would be the end of it. He’d even had a drink here and there since then in order to prove to himself it was no longer an issue. And he’d lulled himself into a state of false confidence with that lie.

And now he’d done damage. Laura was never fond of his habit, but she’d never confronted him about it. Her withering glances were enough to clue him in to her feelings. He knew this time he wasn’t going to escape with a look. They were going to have to talk about it, and he was going to make it right. He had to. He hoped she let him.

*****

Laura was tempted to hole up in the bedroom for the day and avoid her husband. But the more she thought about it, the more the idea made her angry. Bed rest or not, this was her cabin too, and she wasn’t about to make herself a prisoner.

She shed her nightgown and grabbed a shirt and a pair of pants from the small pile of clothes she’d washed at the stream the other day. She donned her clothes like armor, her sleepwear leaving her feeling vulnerable.

She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and opened the bedroom door. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Bill was still on the couch. She could not tell if he was still sleeping. She walked over to the stove and began to prepare her breakfast, reminding herself to make only one portion this morning, not two as usual. Bill could make his own meal.

As she poured steaming water into a mug for her tea, she noticed that he’d sat up and was watching her. She continued on with her routine, bringing her mug and plate to the table and sitting down to eat. She’d managed three bites and a swig of tea before he joined her at the table. She looked at him, his head bowed like a scolded child. And that made her angrier than she’d been the night before. He might as well hold his hand out for a slap. It wasn’t up to her to offer forgiveness. It was up to him to show he deserved it.

She stared at him until he raised his head, red eyes and sorrow overwhelming him. Her look dared him to speak, to offer his penance.

“Should I pack my stuff?”

Laura tilted her head toward him, as if she hadn’t heard him correctly. “What?”

“I’ll go, if that’s what you want.”

“That’s what you have to say to me?”

He licked his lips, considering his next words. “I have a lot to say. I just don’t know if you want to hear it.”

“That didn’t stop you last night.”

He winced, and she knew then that he did not recall the previous evening’s events. “I’m sorry, Laura.”

She nodded, tracing the rim of her mug with her finger. “I’m sure you are.”

“I don’t know what-“

“I want you to tell me why you dumped me at home and ran back to the bottle. I needed you here. It would have been nice to have someone to make me dinner and wash the blood out of the sheets.”

He nodded, trying and failing to stammer out a reply.

“Is this what I have to look forward to now? Are you going to get hammered after every crisis?”

“I thought I could handle it.”

“You’re a smart man, Bill. I refuse to think you’d be that stupid.”

“Laura, I never had any issues with alcohol before. I could take it or leave it. And when everything fell apart, yeah, I nursed my problems.  But I never craved it like a physical thing. I just drowned myself in it. And believe me; I haven’t missed it since you’ve been here. But sitting there in sick bay, watching those monitors, I felt afraid for the first time in a very long time.” His voice was a whisper, almost ashamed at his admission of fear. “I couldn’t see beyond that.”

“You’re a mean drunk, Bill. Did you think that wouldn’t be an issue?”

He dropped his gaze and fell silent, having no answer for her.

Laura got up from the table, tossing her dirty dish in the pot they used in place of a sink. “Well, we both know now that it’s a problem.”

Bill watched her, waited to hear his punishment.

She sat down at the table, facing outward, elbows on her thighs as she leaned toward him. “I know you have your demons. And Gods know we’ve focused on my issues more than yours. You can talk to me; you can talk to Saul; do whatever you have to do. But I’m telling you right now. If you ever bring that into our home again, it’ll be the last night you spend here. Do you understand me?”

Bill nodded, the movement releasing a flow of tears down his face.

His tears were like an antidote for her anger. She felt it leave her body in easy waves. She wanted to wipe the tears away, make everything better for him just as he’d wanted to do for her when she’d returned to him. But this was not a battle she could wage for him. Instead she stood, mug in hand, and returned to the bedroom.

Bill watched her leave, knowing he needed to follow her. He did, slowly, and stood in the doorway to watch her climb into bed. She kept to her side, an unspoken invitation.  He kicked off his shoes as he walked to the bed, and winced when he grabbed the covers to pull them back. There was so much blood. It was dried now, and would never really come out, no matter how much they scrubbed.

Her hand reached out to cover his. “It’s okay. These sheets were screwed the moment I started to bleed.”

“I’ll see if we can get another set.”

“Not likely. Will you be able to sleep here?”

“Yes.” He slid under the covers beside her, a chill in the morning air deeming it all but necessary. “It was cold last night.”

“You had the stove. You should’ve lit it.”

“Who was thinking about that?”

“I know.” She turned her body to him, both still sitting up against the headboard. “I know it’s not easy for you to open up about some things, but you’ve got to promise me, Bill, that if the need gets that bad again, you’ll talk to someone.”

“Not you?”

“You can talk to me if you want. I want to know what’s going on in your thick head.” She offered him a smile, and he returned it. “Being vulnerable doesn’t come easy to either of us, but you must know you can tell me anything.”

“I do know that.” He grabbed her hand, raising it to his lips. She hummed when he kissed her, and his eyes met hers. “How do you feel?”

Laura looked down, her free hand resting on the curve of her stomach. “We’re okay.”

“I’m sorry I left you.”

“I know you are.” She leaned in and kissed him softly.

*****

_Two days later_

  
“Bill, I don’t want you to do this.”

“Noted. I’m doing it anyway.”

“You’re going to hurt your back.”

“Doc says a little exertion is good for me.”

“If it’s exertion you need, I can think of other ways.”

Bill tossed his wife a glance as he poured another bucket of hot water into the bathtub. “Later for that.”

She giggled in that way of hers that made him want to drop everything and frak her senseless. But he went back to the stove to fetch more water. When he returned, he found her standing by the tub, peering inside.

“Not bad, Admiral. Too bad it’ll get cold by the time you fill it.”

“Laura, this water is practically boiling. It’ll keep.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you managed to get so much water for this.”

“Good, cause I’m not telling you.”

She smiled, returning to the bed to watch him finish his task. She was surprised that it didn’t take all day, and she could not help the grin that spread across her face when he announced that the tub was three-quarters full and ready for her.

Laura stood and walked to the bath, looking at it with a mixture of fondness and longing that confused her husband.

“You gonna get in it?”

She nodded happily, untying the robe at her waist and letting it fall off her shoulders. He held her hand as she stepped in, and he took a moment to take her in. Her body was fuller now, almost softer.  She hadn’t gained much weight beyond her belly, though her breasts were impressive. He hadn’t told her that observation, for fear of being rightfully slapped.

He was still staring as she settled in with a contented sigh. She flipped her hair back over the rim of the tub and rested her head, closing her eyes. He continued to look, her slightly swollen breasts and belly peeking out of the water.

“I wish there was room in here for you,” she said.

“Me too.”

His reply was quick and enthusiastic, and she laughed. She opened her eyes as he pulled an old storage bin out from the corner of the bedroom and placed it by the tub to use as a seat. “Why did you want to do this for me?”

“Is that a complaint?”

“Not in the least. Just curious.” Laura knew why, but she wanted him to say it.

“I want to take care of you.” Off her look, he added, “I like taking care of you.”

She bit back a sigh, realizing that getting him to admit he still felt guilty for his drinking binge was not going to be that easy. “I’ve never had anyone take care of me before.”

Bill nodded, sliding his hand under the water to find hers, their fingers intertwining. “I’m glad you let me.”

She squeezed his hand in reply. “I’m glad you let  _me_.”

He rubbed his face with his free hand. “Yeah. I’m still not entirely sure how my shaving mirror went missing for two full weeks.”

Laura grinned. “The important thing is; you found it.”

He nodded concededly, shifting his gaze to the water. “I think you could use more warm water.”

She watched as he took the bucket back to the stove and filled it with water, returning quickly and dumping it into the tub. Laura gasped as the water hit her.

“What? Too hot? I checked it.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I just wasn’t prepared.”

Bill narrowed his eyes at her and shrugged, setting the empty bucket down and sitting back on the bin. He dipped his hand back into the water, swirling it around. It wasn’t terribly hot, but it definitely made a difference. Her belly, now submerged, beckoned him. He placed his palm on it, looking at it in wonder.

“Have you felt anything yet?”

Laura shook her head. “I would tell you.”

He smiled. “I didn’t get to experience much of this with my boys. I wasn’t around, mostly, but when I was, Carolanne was self-conscious.”

“Of this?” She nodded to her stomach. “I can’t imagine.”

“Yeah. I don’t know why. And I never bothered to ask.”

Laura’s hand joined his over their child. “I like it,” she admitted.

“Me too.”

She watched his face, wonder and happiness playing across his features.  _Now was the time_ , she decided. He deserved a little surprise.

“Bill? Do you want a boy, or a girl?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Laura. Either one-“

“None of that. You must have a preference. And I know you’ll love it no matter what it is. Just tell me.”

“Well, I know boys. I’m comfortable there.” He shrugged with a smile. “But I’ve always wanted a daughter. How about you?’

“I never had the time to think about what I’d want.”

“What do you mean?”

She grinned at him mischievously. “I mean, I know what it is.”

“You do? Did Cottle tell you?”

“No. It was too soon for that when I had the ultrasound. I just know.”

“Oh. You mean like a mother’s intuition?”

“No. You know how I could feel the baby’s presence before I went to see Cottle? This is the same thing. It’s just like…” she waved her hand in the air, droplets of water cascading down her arm. “Like I know you’re a boy and I’m a girl.” She giggled at her terminology. “Man and woman,” she corrected.

Bill looked confused, but intrigued. “So, can you communicate with the baby?”

“No, although I don’t know if it’s just not possible, or if the baby just isn’t developed enough for that yet.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“ _So_ , is it a boy, or a girl?”

She smiled so wide it nearly hurt. “It’s a girl.”

Laura wasn’t sure exactly how many emotions registered on her husband’s face in that moment, but she was sure she saw shock, doubt, acceptance, and finally pure joy. He leaned in and kissed her repeatedly, his hands framing her face. “You’re sure?”

She laughed between kisses. “Yes. I’m very sure.”

“A girl.” Bill looked at her belly. “We’re having a girl.”

Laura watched him caress her stomach, his eyes full of tears.

“You can…feel her now?”

“I can always feel her.”

“What is it like, Laura?”

She paused for a moment, not exactly sure how to put the peculiar feeling into words. “Well, you know how we read on the couch? We aren’t talking, but we each know the other is right there? You don’t have to see or hear me to know I’m next to you. You’re aware of me. It’s kinda like that.”

Bill nodded, grasping the concept. “That’s incredible, Laura.”

“It’s different than it was in the beginning, which leads me to believe it may change again. As she grows, the connection changes.”

“Have you asked any of the other women about it?”

“No. It’s confusing enough without adding other women’s experiences into it.”

They were silent for a time, the only sound in the room the sloshing of the water as Laura moved. She was about to close her eyes when Bill made a sound. She looked at him.

“I just realized something,” he said.

“What?”

“For the first time in a very long time, I’m excited. It’s not simply something to look forward to. It’s the anticipation of something that hasn’t happened yet. Something wonderful for a change.”

She brought her hand to his face. “I’m so glad, Bill.” She sat up, bringing her face closer to his. She kissed him long and slow, humming happily as her arms wrapped around his neck.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura have a lazy day.

Laura couldn’t sleep.

This was usually the norm, although since she’d gotten pregnant the need for sleep had increased. Bill was solid beside her, his breathing deep and even. She didn’t want to wake him, but something had to be done about her current situation.

She never thought she’d use the word ‘horny’ to describe anyone other than a teenage boy, but she was learning that it could most definitely be applied to herself now. It wasn’t just a simple arousal; her whole body was humming in a way that made her grit her teeth. She contemplated quietly sliding her hand between her legs, but that seemed almost shameful. Still, how much use would her husband be if she woke him from a sound sleep?

She sighed, decision made. This would be taking care of business. Nothing more. She was never going to sleep otherwise. Careful to move slowly, she slid her hand down under the covers. Pulling her nightgown up was a little awkward, but after that she was home free. She shifted slightly, allowing free movement of the gown. Hitching it up, her hand buried itself between her legs. She had to bite back a moan. She was so sensitive. This would not take long. Keeping an ear on Bill’s breathing, she began to work her finger back and forth over her clit. Tiny circles. Not as fast as she’d have liked. She had to be as calm and steady as possible. She was wet, and the sound of her hand doing its job seemed deafening in the quiet of the room. Just as she was getting awfully close, Bill shifted onto his side, his arm coming to rest around her. She froze, listening. But his breathing was still deep and steady. His arm’s position, however, was a challenge. He had her effectively pinned, and if he were awake, he would feel every movement her hand made.

Part of her wanted to drop the whole project entirely. But her hormones would not allow such an easy escape. She closed her eyes and relaxed, focusing on the pressure her hand was currently providing between her legs. She could do this with just a fingertip. She was so very close…

“Need a little help?”

Despite the words being softly whispered in her ear, Laura jumped. Bill held her steady, sliding closer to her until she could feel his hardness at her back.

“I can offer some assistance, if you’d like.”

Oh, frak it. She was too desperate to do anything but raise her leg back and drape it over his, opening herself to him. He groaned in her ear when his hand joined hers at her core.

“Gods, Laura. Did you come already?”

She shook her head in the negative against her pillow, pulling her hand away from his. Let him do the heavy lifting.

“You feel like you did. Wet and swollen. You need to be frakked.”

Laura moaned at his words. It was most definitely a need at this point. She couldn’t remember needing anything as badly as she did him, right now. She wanted to tell him so, but her mouth wouldn’t cooperate. At her muffled moan, he slid inside her.

“Oh my Gods.” Laura wasn’t sure which of them spoke, but she didn’t care. Her hips bucked backwards of their own accord, but she had no leverage.

“Shhh. Let me, Laura.” He only had one free hand; the other was pinned against her back. He gripped her hip, changing the angle slightly. “Can you come like this?”

“Yes…” She was panting now, her body reaching desperately for release. His pace was steady, not too slow, but not too fast. She could feel every inch of him, her body greedily taking him in, over and over. “So close…”

“You had a head start,” he grunted. He began to move faster, knowing that she liked a quicker pace when she was on the brink.

“Yes...yes...yes...” Her face was practically buried into the pillow, her hands gripping the sheet beneath her. “Please…”

Bill rose up behind her, using his pinned arm for leverage. He frakked her as hard and fast as he dared, not wanting to get as rough as they usually did. “That’s it, love. Right there. I can feel it.”

She gasped into the pillow, her body shuddering as she came, gripping him with her need until he came with a groan, waves of pleasure washing over them both. Her hand slipped down and held him in place as she came down. His hand joined hers, fingers entwined where their bodies were joined.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

He chuckled in her ear. “You’ve very welcome.”

“Wow. That was…” Her mind was foggy. “I don’t know…”

“Just wake me next time, okay?”

“Mm hmmm.”

He slid her leg down and she winced. He squeezed her hip. “You aren’t in that position very often.”

“No, but I might be in the future.”

“Yeah, we’ll have to get a little creative.”

“We aren’t creative now?”

“Sure. I meant creative in other ways.”

“Good save, Admiral.”

Bill tucked the covers around her loosely and kissed her shoulder before curling around her for sleep. Laura’s eyes were still closed, amazed at how much relief she felt. She likened the feeling to those blissful moments after a massage at the Caprica Spa. Not usually how she felt after sex, but sex during pregnancy seemed to be differing from the norm already. She nestled deeper under the covers and decided to try sleep once more.

The minutes ticked past. Bill’s arm around her grew heavier, a sure sign that he had fallen asleep. She was just about to drift off when she felt it. Her eyes fluttered open, her hand finding her belly.

“Bill.”

Her voice was louder than she’d intended and he jerked awake. “What?”

“I think I feel something.”

“Like what?”

She turned her neck toward him, though her position did not afford her much of a view of his face. “Like,  _the baby_.”

Bill leaned up at that, his hand bumping hers on her stomach. “Are you sure?”

“I think so.”

“Was it a kick?”

“Mm...no. More like a… squirmy butterfly.”

Bill laughed, keeping his hand alongside hers just in case any residual movement could be felt. But when she gasped and proclaimed she had felt it again, he felt nothing on the outside. The moon was high in the sky, which allowed him to just make out his wife’s face. But what he saw took his breath away. She was grinning, eyes closed, completely focused on the tiny being inside of her. He felt an overwhelming sense of love wash over him. Not just for Laura, but for their child. That this little girl could make his wife so happy before she was even born made his heart skip a beat.

He lay back down beside her, keeping his hand in place over her womb. Fingers once again laced together, they slept.

*****

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Laura called from the couch.

“Yes. Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Bill was outside, tending to their new, and still tiny, garden.

“I have to rest, Bill. Cottle didn’t specify where, really.” She sat up on raised arms, trying to see him through the open door. “You need to be really gentle with those seedlings.”

If she could have seen her husband’s face, she would have watched him take a deep breath and square his jaw. “Yes, Laura.”

“Don’t patronize me. We haven’t been married long enough.”

“So, I just cover these tiny plants with dirt, right?” He meant to tease her, but the unholy sound that came from her mouth signaled that he might have gone too far.

“Drop everything! I’ll do it.”

She was untangling her legs from the blanket when he stepped back inside, his hands raised in surrender. “I was kidding, Laura.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “This is serious, Bill.”

“Oh, I can see that.” He walked to the couch, bending over to steal a kiss from her. She did not return the gesture.

“Did you water the seeds?”

“Yes.” Another kiss.

“And all the seedlings look steady? No drooping or wilting?”

“They’re perfect.” Another kiss.

She sighed. “Okay then. But once I’m off bed rest, I’ll take over.”

“Yes, sir.” One more kiss, this time, she responded in kind.

“I’m so restless, Bill.”

“I know you are.”

“I wish I could go down to the stream.”

“Well, when Cottle comes up, we’ll see what he has to say.”

Laura frowned. “I don’t know what he’s going to be able to tell us without any of his equipment up here.”

Bill placed his hand on her stomach. “Have you felt anything else today?”

“No. I think she’s bored, too.”

“Well, it’s likely that last night’s movement was brought on by hormonal and uterine activity.”

Laura tried and failed to hold back a giggle. “You mean,  _sex_.”

“No, not really. The intercourse and orgasm actually rock the baby, lulling it into sleep most of the time. It’s the residual effects that ramp up activity and heartbeat.”

“I take it you’ve finished both of the pregnancy books.”

“Nope. I just made sure to read the more pertinent chapters first.”

She couldn’t help but grin at him. All at once a feeling of overwhelming gratitude seized her heart. She was very lucky. She knew it, and for the first time since she’d returned, she truly felt it. The thought brought tears to her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but Bill noticed.

His hand cupped her cheek. “What?”

Laura shook her head. “Frakking hormones. I’m all over the place lately.”

“That’ll calm down soon enough.”

She bit her lip, but a burst of laughter slipped from her mouth. “You’re a good man, Bill Adama.”

“I’m glad that you think so.”

“I know so.” Her hands rose to cup his face. “I am very lucky.”

He let out a shaky breath, aware of the enormity of her words. “I am very glad you feel that way.”

*****

“I can’t believe that with all we read, there are still so many books I haven’t opened yet.” Laura ran her hand along the shelf as she perused the volumes that rested there. Mysteries dominated, but there were many biographies, reference, and art books mixed in. She even spotted a romance novel or two. She was wondering if she could get Bill to read one of those to her when her finger hit a rough spot on the wood. She hissed as the splinter pierced her skin. “Ouch!”

Bill, who was sitting at his desk working on his model ship, looked up in alarm. “What?”

“Splinter.” Laura frowned, bringing the injured finger to her lips.

“Oh.”

She turned to look at him, his focus back on his ship. Her dirty look went unseen.

Fifteen minutes later, she was ensconced on the couch with a book in her hands and a blanket around her legs. Bill remained at his desk, wanting to finish touching up the paint on the hull of the ship. He’d ignored it for months, and being in a box did it no favors. It needed a good amount of work, and he found he was happy for that. He needed something else to do with Laura being housebound.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye. She was fidgeting, which meant she wasn’t reading at all.

“Can’t get into it?” He kept his eyes on his task when he spoke.

“No, it’s fine.”

“If you pick at it, you’re gonna make it worse.”

She looked up at him incredulously. “I’m not picking.”

She most certainly was, and he knew it. He sighed, digging through his tiny tool box until he located a pair of tweezers. He got up and crossed to the couch. “Let me see.”

Laura frowned before presenting him with her injury. “It’s pretty big.”

Bill could barely see the offending slice of wood, but nodded anyway. He raised the tweezers to her hand.

“Wait! There’s not much light here. Maybe we should move to the window?”

“But it’s so big. How could I miss it?”

“Don’t mock me. It hurts.”

“I’m sure it does, especially after you picked at it for ten minutes.”

“Need I remind you about last week’s incident?”

Bill had tripped over a bucket in the bedroom and fell, hurting his ankle. He’d gotten a long foot massage out of Laura after he paraded around the cabin with a limp for the afternoon. “No, you don’t have to remind me.”

He went in with the tweezers again, and she winced.

“Trust me.”

“Ow!”

“Laura, I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Maybe I should…”

“Keep still.”

“It’s too deep for this. Maybe we should let it work itself out.”

“No. You’ll pick at it until you get an infection.”

“Ouch!”

“I’m almost done.”

“Maybe Cottle can look at it when he-“

“Laura, are you really suggesting you need a doctor for a splinter? If so, I don’t even want to contemplate you going into labor.”

“It could get infected with that dirty thing you’re poking it with.”

“My tools are quite clean, thank you very much.”

Laura remained silent for the rest of the ordeal, watching as he worked methodically to free the splinter from her finger.

“Ah ha!” Bill grasped the splinter with his tweezers, pulling it out and presenting it to her. “All done.”

She raised her finger to eye level and squinted to examine it. “It came out in one piece.”

“Of course it did,” he huffed.

“Just making sure.”

“Do I get a thank you?”

“Depends. What did you have in mind?”

Bill raised her injured finger to his lips, kissing it chastely before giving it a gentle suck and flicking at it with his tongue.

Laura raised her eyebrows suggestively and took the tweezers from him, tossing them to the floor. “Abandon ship, Admiral.”

*****

They lay on the couch, naked, sweaty, and sated.

Laura’s head rested on Bill’s chest, his arms wrapped loosely around her. “What are you thinking?”

“I never imagined I’d be having this much sex at this age.”

She tilted her head to kiss his chest. “Is that a complaint?”

“No! I’m just glad I’m up to the task.”

“Me too. Especially now.”

“Does the sex drive really increase that much?”

“I don’t know about other women, but for me, yes.”

“Maybe it’s nature’s way of making sure we have lots of sex now, cause we won’t be having any soon enough.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far. I’m sure I’ll be almost back up to speed within a couple of months.”

“Okay, and then what do we do with the baby?”

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t have sex with the baby here, Laura.”

She propped herself up on her arm. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I couldn’t do what we just did with a baby in the room.”

“And what do you suggest we do with the baby?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bill, don’t be ridiculous. It’s a baby. She won’t know what we’re doing.”

“I can’t, Laura.”

“Yeah. We’ll see about that when you’ve gone without it for three months.”

Bill was silent for a moment as he contemplated the upcoming dry spell. “Well, maybe she can stay out here.”

“Yes. By all means. Let’s leave our infant unattended while we have sex.”

“And what will you do if she’s in the room? You gonna be keeping an eye on her while we frak?”

“Don’t be crass. You know what I mean.”

She rested her head back down on his chest as they both tried to imagine just how different their lives would soon become.  Laura wondered what the people were using for diapers nowadays. Bill wondered if he should construct a cradle. He was working at the layout in his mind when Laura hummed happily.

“What?”

“Hormonal and uterine activity working its magic again.”

“She’s moving?”

“Yeah.” She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach, but he felt nothing. When he told her so, she squeezed his hand. “Soon.”

“You know, speaking of children, I told Lee to come by.”

“When?”

“I saw him the other day-“

“No, I mean, when is he coming by?”

“Tonight, for dinner.”

Laura sat up in a panic. “Tonight?”

“Yeah. I forgot about it until just now.”

“Gods, Bill! What will we feed him? And what if he came early?”

“Calm down. He offered to bring some fresh meat. And he won’t come early. They’re having a ceremony this afternoon. Official school opening.”

Laura abandoned the tangle of blankets at their feet. “The school?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I forgot, Laura. I’m sorry.”

“I guess I couldn’t have gone anyway.”

“You would have gone?”

“I don’t know. I would have liked the option.”

“Well, we’ll have a little one enrolled there soon enough.”

Laura offered him a smile, but it did not reach her eyes.

Bill sat up, pushing an errant curl from her face. He watched her grab a blanket and tuck it around herself. “You want to talk?”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“Matters to me.”

“I guess…I’m settling in now, and maybe I wish I had the option to teach again.”

“I think you do have the option.”

She shook her head, the stray curl he’d tucked behind her ear coming loose. “Not with the baby coming.”

“Well, not right now, but soon.”

“Not until she’s on solid foods, and that’s assuming I can breastfeed, which if I can’t, is an even bigger issue…” She took a deep, calming breath.

He looked at her breasts. “Well, if those are any indication, this child will never go hungry.”

She tried not to laugh, but failed. “They’ll get bigger. I don’t think this is the half of it.”

“See? Something else to look forward to.”

She swatted playfully at his arm. “You know, if I teach, you’ll have to watch her.”

“I don’t think it’s called ‘watching her’ if it’s your own child. I believe they call it parenting.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do, and that’s fine. I can teach her about model ship building, and we can read, and nap. I like napping.”

“What do you want, Bill?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“I want the two of you to be happy and healthy.”

Laura frowned. “Okay. What else?”

“That’s about it.”

“That’s a lovely sentiment, Bill. But what do you want for you? Aside from the wellbeing of your family?”

Bill thought for a moment, his hand caressing her arm. “I’d like to finish my ship. I’d like to read every book on our shelves. Teach our daughter to swim in the stream. Just do the little things that aren’t so little anymore. Not after what we’ve been through.”

She nodded in agreement, a smile forming on her lips. “Since we have a little time before Lee gets here, how about you read to me?”

He grinned at her, grabbing the abandoned book on the floor and cracking it open.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura receive visits from Lee and Cottle.

Laura looked down at her growing belly as she tried to smooth her blouse into place. She sincerely hoped Elizabeth would know where she could get larger clothes. She was going to need them soon.

“Bill? You realize we’re going to have to tell Lee tonight, right?”

Bill came into the bedroom and watched his wife fiddle with her top. Although she wasn’t that big yet, there was no hiding the situation with her current wardrobe.

“I know. Probably best that he be the first to know, anyway.”

“What do you think his reaction will be?”

“I have no idea. But if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll be appropriately thrilled.”

Laura smiled, approaching her husband and planting a kiss on his cheek. “I’m going to let you tell him.”

A knock at the door signaled Lee’s arrival. “Speak of the devil,” said Bill, leaving his wife to finish dressing.

Laura listened as Bill greeted his son, thinking that it would have been better had she positioned herself at the table. Lee was extremely observant, and she didn’t want to walk out and have him see her pregnancy before they’d had a chance to tell him. Looking around the bedroom, she spotted an oversized art book Bill had been flipping through. Grabbing it, she held it across her middle and headed into the other room to greet Lee.

Father and son were at the stove, looking over the meat Lee had brought from camp. “Hi Lee.”

The young man turned and smiled. “Hi Laura. Good to see you.”

She smiled at the way he said her name; it never rolled off his tongue the way her former title did. It sounded as if he was testing it out, trying a new language. “You brought us supper?”

“Yes. Steaks.  We just cooked them down at the camp, but we might want to throw them over some heat for a minute.”

“I can handle that,” offered Bill. “Have a seat.”

Lee sat at the table and Laura followed suit, sliding the art book onto the table as she sat down.

“A little light reading?”

Laura laughed. “Your father left it in the bedroom.” She looked at Bill, who was reheating the steaks at the stove. She sighed. Lee was his son, and he was going to have to be the one to bring it up. Unless she had to force the issue.

“So tell me about the school.”

“I think it’s going to be great. We’ve got a good number of kids eager to learn. We’re teaching life skills along with the standard math and language classes. How to start a fire, how to tell time by looking at the position of the sun. Things like that. The older kids are being taught Cylon history as well as Colonial history.”

“That’s wonderful.”

Lee cleared his throat. “I ah, wanted to ask you, you know, since you had the school on New Caprica, a lot of the kids ask about you. Would you consider teaching again?”

“Why? Is that a job offer?”

“Ah, well, yeah.”

Laura swallowed heavily, and looked at Bill, who had finally taken his eyes off the steaks. Her eyes widened in suggestion.  _Tell him_ , she thought.

“Dad, we already  _cooked_  the steaks.”

Bill looked down at the pan. The meat was starting to smoke. He quickly pulled it from the heat and set it down, pulling plates from the shelf above the stove.

_Okay then_ , Laura thought. “Lee, I actually would like to go back to teaching at some point, but now just isn’t the right time.”

“Here we go.” Bill set a plate down in front of each of them before fetching his own plate and joining them at the table. He looked at Laura, clearing his throat. “Son? Before we eat, there’s something we’d like to tell you.”

Lee looked at both of them. “Okay.”

“Well, uh…” Bill looked at his wife, searching for the right words.

Laura wasn’t sure whether to find Bill’s awkwardness amusing or aggravating. She decided to help him out. “You know that this body is much younger than the one I had before, right?”

“Yes.” Poor Lee looked positively confused.

“And things can happen with a younger body that weren’t possible with an older one,” Bill offered.

Laura shook her head. Okay,  _now_  it was amusing. She bit back a grin as she spoke. “What we’re trying to say is, I’m pregnant.”

Lee looked from his father to Laura, and back again. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” answered Laura, when Bill showed no signs of replying.

“O…okay. Um, that’s great. It is, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.” Bill had found his voice.

“Wow. I have to say, I’m shocked. But I’m very happy for you.” Lee leaned over and half-hugged Laura, kissing her on the cheek. He settled for squeezing his father’s hand across the table.

They ate, and Lee filled them in on camp activity. But no matter what they discussed, Laura observed that a ghost of a smile remained on his face for the remainder of the evening.

*****

Laura tucked herself around her husband, resting her head on his shoulder. It had been a long night, but a good one, and they had retired to bed not long after Lee left. Bill was wide awake, his arm wrapped around her, his middle finger making tiny circles on her arm.

“Was a good visit,” he said.

“Yes, it was. We should have him up here at least once a week, if he’s not too busy.”

“I’ll mention it to him.”

The air seemed thick with possibilities – words that wanted to be spoken, questions that needed answering. Laura wasn’t sure where to start.

“The school.”

She did not look up at him, just slid her arm across his chest. “What about it?”

“You said you wanted to teach.”

“I do.”

“You okay turning him down?”

“It’s not like I have a choice, Bill.”

“I know.”

“I’ll go to school when the baby goes.”

“And you don’t mind waiting that long?”

“No. It’s better this way. Give the school a chance to get off the ground.”

“I’m sure you could have some input if you wanted.”

“I’m sure I could. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea to have me consult from up here. People like to see where ideas come from. They want a dialogue.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“Not here. I don’t want to bring work into our home, no matter what it is.”

“Except grading papers.”

Laura chuckled. “Yeah. I’ll let you help.”

“I think Lee seemed to take the news pretty well.”

“What? About the baby? Yes, he did.”

“Not sure we can count on him to babysit, though.”

“He’s probably a better bet than Saul.”

“So say we all.”

*****

“He can’t smoke in here.”

“I know, Laura.”

“You told Sullivan that Cottle was coming?”

“Yes, Laura.”

“Am I nagging?”

“Yes.”

Laura smiled at Bill, who was helping her settle in on the couch while they waited for Cottle to arrive. “I’m sorry.”

“S’Okay. Forgiveness only costs one kiss.”

“Oh, I can definitely afford that.”

She leaned over and kissed him just as their front door opened and Cottle bustled in.

“Sorry,” Cottle grumbled. “Officer outside said you were waiting for me.”

Laura fiddled with her shirt in an effort to compose herself while Bill shot up from the couch. “Good to see you, Doc.”

Cottle nodded. “Admiral.”

“Hi Doc.”

“Young lady. How are you feeling?”

“Good. No pain or bleeding.”

Cottle set down the large bag he was carrying and opened it, pulling out a rather large contraption.

“What is that?” Laura asked.

“Portable ultrasound machine.”

“Oh. I was wondering how you would accomplish an exam up here.”

“I’m always prepared.”

“So, we can see the baby with that?”

Cottle frowned at Bill while Laura bit back a smile. “Yes, Admiral. That’s the general idea.”

Bill stood back while Cottle helped Laura recline on the couch. He watched as Laura lifted her shirt and the doctor applied a bluish gel to her skin. He asked her questions about her appetite and her energy while he worked. Finally setting the machine he’d brought on the coffee table, Cottle turned it on. “Let’s see what we have here.”

Laura reached for Bill, beckoning him to her side. He went willingly, kneeling down on the floor beside her head. Her hand squeezed his tightly as Cottle began sliding the transducer across her belly.

The small screen flickered, and then showed the grainiest of images until Cottle stopped moving the wand. Laura gasped. The first time she’d had an ultrasound, not much could be seen or made out. But there before them on the tiny screen was their baby. She could make out the head and the body and the heart flickering just below what Cottle pointed out as a hand.

“I think it’s sucking its thumb,” he offered.

Bill couldn’t bring himself to blink for fear of missing anything. He watched the baby move as if she were dancing to her very own music.

“I think she’s showing off for us,” said Laura.

Cottle looked at her. “That’s right. You know the sex already.”

Bill tore his eyes from the screen. “Do all Cylon mothers have that ability?”

“Yes. We don’t know why, but there’s some two-way connection between mother and fetus that’s never been documented in humans.”

Laura frowned. “Can you tell how I’m doing? Can you see?”

Cottle moved the wand to get a better look at the placenta. He was silent for a moment as he inspected what he saw on the screen. “You see this here?” He pointed to a mass on the screen. “That’s the placenta. Now when they brought you in, the tear was small, but still clear as day. I can’t locate it now.”

“What does that mean?” Laura asked.

“Well, what it probably means is that you’ve healed.”

“Is that possible?”

“Obstetrics is not my field, so I haven’t seen many of these. The ones I have seen were more severe than yours and never healed.  _But_ , those were human cases. You’re the first Cylon to have such a complication, so this is new territory I guess.”

“So, because I am…what I am, it got better?”

“Yes, I believe so. But, that doesn’t mean you get a free pass. If you don’t have to do something, don’t do it. Let this one do the heavy lifting.” He nodded at Bill.

“Can I go for walks?”

“Slow walks. Not too far. And only once a week. Let’s not tempt fate, shall we?”

“You think it could happen again?” Bill asked.

“I don’t know. Like I said, this is new territory. But let’s err on the side of caution.”

Laura nodded in agreement. “Can we see the baby again before you shut that off?”

“There’s only a 4 hour battery attached to this thing, you know.”

She giggled as Cottle shifted the wand again, their baby appearing before them on the screen. “Look, Bill. You can see her foot.”

“Where?”

Laura let go of his hand to point to a small blob on the far left of the screen. “Right there.”

Bill squinted and leaned closer to the machine. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Cottle answered.

Laura offered him a smile as he powered the machine down. “Thanks, Doc.”

“I can’t believe how active she is,” said Bill. “I’d think you’d feel it all the time.”

“Have you felt anything yet?” Cottle asked as he offered Laura a cloth to wipe herself with.

“Ah, not much. Just…you know.”

Bill shot her a look. She shrugged.

“No, I don’t know.”

“Just after…sex.”

“Laura.” Bill’s tone was soft, but his message was clear.

“Sex?” Cottle dropped the wand into his bag. “You’re having sex?”

Laura opened and closed her mouth, but could find no words. Bill looked like he was about to blow his top.

“What part of bed rest did you not understand?”

“I didn’t….I mean, it’s not like I was that active. Bill did-“

“Laura!” Bill barked and she jumped.

Cottle sighed, sitting down on the couch next to Laura. “Obviously, the baby is fine. No harm done. But take it easy. Read a book. Take up knitting. You two are intelligent adults. Find another hobby.”

Laura wasn’t sure if she was angrier at herself for her admission, or her doctor for his response to it. “Got it. No sex.”

“I didn’t say no sex. Just take it easy.”

“Alright. We get it. Thank you, Doctor.” Bill was standing by the door, arms folded across his chest.

“I want to see you in two weeks. I think it’s best we keep an eye on the situation.” He zipped up his now full bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Do you have any other questions for me?”

“No. Thank you.” Laura pulled a blanket up over her legs.

“Okay then. Admiral.” He nodded at Bill as he exited the cabin.

The moment the door shut behind him, Laura raised her hand to her husband. “Don’t. Just don’t.”

“Did you really think it was necessary to tell him that?”

“Oh my Gods, Bill. He’s my doctor. He asked a question.”

“But the volunteering of information…”

“Okay. Fine. I made a mistake. Happy?”

Bill stood and looked at her for a long minute. She looked so small curled up on the couch, defensive and chagrined. He approached her slowly, sliding onto the soft leather beside her. “Actually, I am happy.”

She took in his changed attitude. His face had softened, and he was wearing a huge smile. “You are?”

“Yes. We saw our daughter, Laura. We saw her heart beating. Her tiny head. Something you claim was her foot.”

She giggled. “And she’s okay,” she whispered.

“Of course she’s okay. You’re her mother.” His arm slid around her, pulling her close.

“Except for the times I needed sex so badly I put her in danger.”

“Don’t get dramatic. We were stupid. Like horny teenagers.”

Flashes from the other night of Bill behind her, thrusting into her, whispering dirty things to her ran through her mind. She’d never felt such a raw need for sex before. One of the wonders of pregnancy.

_Behind me_ , she thought. The realization hit her almost like a physical thing.

_“Your back. Your spine. It was…glowing.”_

_“What?” She reached around and felt her spine, looking behind her in confusion. “I don’t understand.”_

_“When you…came. There was a pulsing red light going up and down your back.”_

Laura shuddered at the memory.

Bill’s arm tightened around her. “Hey. You okay?”

She nodded, her face hidden from his view by her hair. The shame of what she was started to creep back in. She’d never wanted him to see that particular display ever again. And yet, he had. Her mind began to swirl with thoughts of what he’d felt when he saw her very unnatural response to him. Was he shocked again? Disgusted? Did it remind him that his child would be only half human?

_Stop_ , she commanded to herself. There was no reason to suspect any of those things. Bill hadn’t acted any differently toward her since that night.

“Where did you go?” His hand swept her hair back to reveal her face.

She couldn’t look at him. Not yet. Instead she moved closer to him, resting her head against his chest and sliding her arm tightly around him.

“I’m just glad everything’s okay,” she whispered.

“Me too.” His face was in her hair, and she could feel his lips as he spoke, punctuating his words with a kiss.

“I love you.” It was a rushed whisper against his shirt, but his arms tightened around her in response. She didn’t tell him enough.

“I love you too.”

Her eyes closed in silent gratitude. His heartbeat against her ear lulled her into a relaxed state, and she fell into a dreamless sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain, doctor-approved sex, and sugary treats.

“Bill.”

“Hmmm?”

“Listen. Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“I think it’s finally raining.”

Laura got up from the couch and walked to the window. The sky was darker than she’d seen it in ages, and she watched as the rain began to fall steadily. She turned back to Bill, who was still seated on the couch, book in hand. “It  _is_  raining!”

“Couple of geologists in the fleet claimed that this area of the planet does have a rather significant rainy season. Don’t ask me how they know such things. Maybe we’re at the start of it.”

“Wow. Listen to that.” She looked up at the roof. “I can’t tell you the last time I heard rain on a real roof.”

“It rained every other day on New Caprica.”

She shot him a look. “A  _real_  roof. Not a tent.”

Moving to the door, she opened it slowly. She was surprised to find that it wasn’t chilly like New Caprica. This was a warm rain. It called to her like a lover, and she smiled in anticipation, stepping outside.

“Laura, what are you doing?”

Bill was off the couch and at the door, but Laura took no notice. She stood as still as a statue in Caprica Square, arms outstretched and palms up as the rain fell down on her. She closed her eyes and turned her face to the sky, welcoming the sensation. She did not allow herself to think, only feel. Her hair, wet and heavy down her back, the raindrops running down her arms and face and legs – over and over they fell onto her skin, lulling her into a perfect state of peace.

Only one thing broke her focus.

The baby inside her was still for the first time in hours. Laura felt something akin to curiosity coming from her, as if she were waiting patiently for someone to tell her what she was feeling and hearing around her warm sanctuary. Laura looked down at her swollen belly and thought of the warm liquid the baby was surrounded in, and then the rain falling down around her, trying to make a connection for her daughter, if it were possible.

And perhaps it was, as she felt a nudge under her ribs in response. Smiling, she looked back to the cabin. “I think she likes it too!”

Bill shook his head. “You’re going to make yourself sick out there.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s a warm rain. And it’s wonderful.” Turning her face back up to the sky, she couldn’t help but laugh. This was perfect. This was happiness.

Bill watched his wife laugh as the rain beat down on her. Moments like these, when she was almost childlike in her response to things, were rare. She hardly ever surrendered completely to anything. She always held a piece of herself back. But not in this moment. She looked so happy. He knew he’d never forget the sight of her as she gave herself up to whatever it was that the rainfall gave her.

She stayed outside for another long moment, and then turned back to him. “You aren’t going to join me?”

“No. I don’t want to steal your rain.”

She smiled demurely as she stepped back into the cabin. “Always the gentleman.”

Bill shut the door behind her before heading into the bedroom for their lone threadbare towel. When he returned to the main room, he found his wife half dressed.

“It got cold pretty quick in here,” she explained, tossing her soaking wet dress to the floor.

“But it’s a warm rain,” he teased, rubbing her bare arms with the towel.

“It was!”

“Was it worth it?” He knew the answer, but wanted to ask anyway.

“Yes. Where is the bucket? I need to wring my hair out.”

“By the stove.”

He took delight in watching her walk to the stove, kneel down, and work at getting her hair as dry as possible. Her back was to him but somehow, without looking, she knew he was watching her. “Enjoying the show?”

“Very much so.” Deciding to help her, he knelt behind her and unhooked her bra to give himself access to her back. He rubbed the worn cotton over her skin, making sure to collect every remaining drop from her neck to her ass.

“Take these off.” He tugged at the waistband of her panties.

“Only if you help me up.”

He did so, making sure she lost her bra in the process. “That was slick,” she said.

“Thank you.”

Laura stepped out of her underwear and trotted off to the bedroom while Bill picked up her wet clothes and wrung them over the bucket. He quickly went over the puddles on the floor with an old rag before grabbing all the clothes and bringing them into the bedroom. Upon seeing Laura, he stopped in his tracks. She was on the bed, not a stitch of clothing to be found on her body. All she wore was a smile.

“What happened to dry clothes?”

“I can think of a better way to get warm.” She crooked her finger at him, beckoning him to the bed. Before he could take three steps, she held up her hand. “You are going to hang those to dry first, aren’t you?”

He looked down at the pile of wet clothes in his hands. Frowning, he nodded and quickly went to the water closet, where they had hung a short clothesline over the tub. He flung the clothes over the line as fast as possible, feeling his wife’s gaze on him all the while. When he was finished, he turned back to Laura. Judging by the look on her face, she was definitely in a mood. He couldn’t get to the bed fast enough, and in his haste, tripped over the boot he was trying to toe off.

“Frak.” He caught himself on the edge of the bed, avoiding a complete wipeout.

Laura laughed as she watched him kick off the offending boot. “Easy there, Admiral. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I did that on purpose,” he said, climbing onto the bed and leaning over her.

“Hmmm. Really?”

“I wanted to hear you laugh again.”

She offered him another laugh.  “Laughing puts me in the mood, you know.”

“I’m starting to realize that.” His words were muffled, his mouth planted firmly on her neck.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“We haven’t had sex this week?”

They both laughed at that, the rule they’d imposed on themselves after Cottle had told them to take it easy.

“You are really overdressed for this,” she pointed out.

He tore his lips from her soft skin, still slightly cool and damp from the rain. Kneeling before her, he pulled his shirt off, and then made quick work of his pants, making sure he didn’t fall off the bed in the process.

“Come here.” She held her arms out for him and he went willingly, burying his face between her breasts.

“Gods Laura. These are amazing.” His hands were soft yet firm as he played and teased with the engorged flesh. He paid special attention to her nipples, having read a suggestion in one of the pregnancy books about the father helping to ‘prepare’ them for breastfeeding. He didn’t dare tell Laura, but he liked the idea, whether it worked or not.

He licked and suckled and massaged until she begged him to stop.

“How do you want me?” She had the most wanton look on her face as she pulled him up for a kiss.

“On your side,” he whispered, nudging her shoulder up.

She realized what he was doing and shook her head. “No, not like that.”

Thankfully, he didn’t question her protest. She assumed it was because she sat up quickly and pushed him onto his back. Straddling his waist, she smiled.

“This good for you?” His hands were at her breasts again, this time stroking lightly.

She nodded, reaching behind her to pat his legs. “Raise these up.”

He did, and she placed one hand on his chest for leverage as she raised her hips and sank down on him. He whispered her name like a prayer when she leaned back against his thighs. She began to rock her hips in a slow circle. His hands gripped her thighs, flexing and kneading as his hips began their own counter motion.

They rocked together until their bodies needed more – harder, faster. She leaned forward, her hands on his chest.

“This okay?” It was a breathless whisper, and also a moot question. Her belly would not allow her to get any closer.

He nodded with a grunt and seized her hips, grinding her against him. “You’re in the driver’s seat.”

She began to thrust against him, quickly realizing that was not going to work. Her fingers clawed his chest, desperate to shift all her weight forward. Sensing her frustration, he slid one hand between them and began to stroke her clit. Her pleading hum was all the response he needed.

“Just like that, Laura.” His hand on her hip guided her easy thrusts.

She looked down, but all she could see was her belly. She focused instead on his arm, how it shook back and forth with the motion of his strokes against her clit.

Bill watched her observe his movements, and began to work her faster, his arm moving at a rapid pace. Her breathing quickened at that, her tell tale hum becoming more frantic. Her hips slowed as her orgasm approached, her body completely surrendering to the pleasure that was imminent. He coaxed it from her with his hand and his mouth, begging her to come, whispering nonsense that had her body shuddering above him.

His hips slowed as he watched her undulate and gasp, her lips trembling. She gave him a satisfied hum as she came down, a soft smile playing on her lips.

“You didn’t?” She looked completely sated, ready to collapse in a blissful heap on top of him.

“Not yet.” The tone of his voice and the slow roll of his hips indicated he was in no hurry.

“Soon?”

“Maybe. You tired?”

She nodded, caressing his chest in silent apology.

He patted her leg. “Let me up.” She did, and he got off the bed, pulling her gently to the edge of the mattress.  “Lie down.”

She did as he requested, smiling when his hands slid under her ass and pulled her closer until her feet were touching the floor. “Has someone been reading The Kama of Aphrodite?”

He grinned at her. “I’m trying to get creative.”

They both groaned as he slid inside her, gripping her thighs as he began to move. His hands couldn’t roam too far, but the view of his wife lying prone before him - her breasts swaying in time with his thrusts, her belly rounded with their child - more than made up for it. He willed her not to move, to let him be the sole provider of their give and take.

“Good, Laura?”

“Mm hmmm.” Her hands reached for his at her thighs.

“Can you?”

She shook her head. One orgasm was all she was going to get, but she loved the feel of him inside her, moving and working himself to his own peak. And judging by the way his breathing and movements had picked up speed, he was very close.

“Laura…” His hands squeezed her thighs so tightly she swore he’d leave marks on her skin. Two more quick thrusts and he was there, coming deep inside her with a moan of her name.

*****

They lay in bed after, Laura on her side, Bill curled up behind her. She nestled into his embrace, pulling his arm tight around her middle. Her hair was still damp from the rain, and Bill nuzzled the humid warmth of her neck.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mm hmmm.” The sound of the rain on the roof coupled with the feel of the baby fluttering inside her helped to create a cozy haven she was reluctant to disturb.

“What was it like?”

“What?”

“Dying.”

Laura paused, momentarily taken aback by the question. “What made you ask that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve always been curious. Maybe I was waiting for the right moment to ask.”

“And this is the right moment?”

“Perhaps not. I was just thinking. There’s a passage in the Sacred Scrolls that describes orgasm as a little death. And my mind just wandered from there.”

“Well, I can assure you, that little death I just had was much better than the big death I had not so long ago.”

“Did it hurt?”

“The orgasm?”

Bill sighed. “ _Dying_ , Laura.”

“Sorry. I get fuzzy after sex. You know this.”

“Is that a yes, or a no?”

She rolled over to face him, her growing belly creating a distance between their bodies. “It’s a no, Bill. Dying did not hurt. It was quite peaceful, actually.”

He sighed, his breath ruffling her hair. All he could do was nod.

She smiled at him, reaching out and running her finger along the creases in his cheek. “I died happy, Bill. The people were safe, and I was with you.”

His hand reached for hers at his cheek, bringing it to his lips and kissing it over and over.

“Can we just lay here now? No more talking.”

“I’d like that,” he agreed, releasing her hand and bringing his own to rest at her hip. The comforting sound of the rain lulled them both into a light sleep.

*****

_Two days later_  
  
  
“Laura?”

“Yeah?”

“You in the bedroom?”

“Obviously. You need help?”

“No, stay there.”

Laura shrugged as she flipped through the pregnancy book Bill had left on his nightstand before he went to camp for needed supplies. As much as she loved having him around, it was nice to have some alone time too.

A quick knock on the doorframe got her attention. “I brought you something.”

“Like what?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Laura did her best to look intrigued. The last two surprises he’d come home with were lovely, but they were for the baby. She was starting to feel forgotten.

He threw an old tie at her. “Put this on,” he said.

She looked at it. “A tie? You want me to wear a tie?”

“Like a blindfold, Laura.”

She gave him a nauseated look. “Really? Can’t I just close my eyes?”

“No. You cheat.”

“Fine.” She shut the book and placed the tie over her eyes, tying it at the back of her head. “Where did you even find a tie?”

“Shush. Wait there.”

“Where the hell can I go? I can’t see, and my walk is more like a waddle.”

Laura began to count to herself, and before she reached twenty, she heard Bill enter the room. The bed shifted when he sat down beside her.

“Now, open your mouth.”

“Bill Adama, if this is based on something you saw in one of those movies once, you’ll be sleeping with the guards tonight.”

“Trust, Laura.”

She did, of course, and they both knew it. Tentatively, she opened her mouth. She felt the cool hardness of a spoon slide onto her tongue, and when she wrapped her lips around it, the world exploded in a myriad of color and flavor. She grabbed the spoon with one hand, and pulled her blindfold off with the other.

“Oh my Gods, Bill!” Which is what she meant to say, but with her mouth full, sounded more like one long moan. Reluctantly she pulled the spoon from her mouth.

“You want to know where I got it?”

She nodded vigorously, keeping her lips sealed and the chocolate safe inside her mouth.

“An expedition to the West yielded some interesting finds, including cocoa beans. It’s probably a little more bitter than we’re used to, but considering our somewhat crude manufacturing skills, I’d say they did okay.”

Laura finally swallowed, the taste of chocolate lingering in her mouth. “It’s perfect!”

“Good, cause we have more.” He produced a small bowl from behind his back. It was full of what looked like a chocolate paste.

Laura wanted to weep. “All that, just for us?”

“No. All this, just for you.”

“You’re not going to have any?”

“I realize I may be banished from the house for saying this, but I was never much for chocolate.”

“Hm. Interesting.” Taking another small spoonful into her mouth, Laura reached for her husband and kissed him, sliding her tongue into his mouth. At his soft moan, she began to explore, making sure he got a damn good taste of the treat he had brought her.

Parting lips with a soft smack, he kissed her nose. “Okay, I think I’m a convert.”

She giggled happily. “We share then,” she said with a raised eyebrow, pulling him in for another chocolate kiss.

*****

“That was amazing,” Laura sighed.

“I never knew chocolate could be that good.”

They lay in bed, she in her underwear, and Bill in his boxers. The chocolate was long gone, save for a couple of dark smudges on their skin.

“I never knew chocolate could get better,” she said, leaning in to lick off a smudge of chocolate on his chest.

“I like this,” he said, cupping his hand behind her head as she suckled at his skin.

“Oh, I’ll bet you do.”

He chuckled. “No, I mean, you, like this. Happy.”

She looked up at him. “This is not that new, Bill.”

“I know. But to see you enjoy yourself with so much…abandon. I had my doubts early on.”

“And yet you stuck with me. See how you get rewarded?” Her mouth returned to his chest, marking his skin with a trail of open mouthed kisses.

His hand stayed on her head, his fingers kneading her scalp. “I have more than I could have ever dreamed of when we set down on this planet.”

“Me too,” she mumbled against his skin.

“Was it worth it?”

She pulled away from him. “Was what worth it?”

“Resurrection.”

She was momentarily stunned. Anger coursed through her like a hungry flame. Before she could begin to process what he’d asked, he placed his hand on her cheek, tempering her anger.

“I need to know, Laura. If you could go back and have a choice. Would you do it all over again?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

She sat up, her back firm against the headboard. She wanted to tell him that no, she would not do it all over again. That the horror of learning that she was a Cylon automatically negated any good that came after. But she could not speak the words. She felt the baby moving within her, felt the happiness that came from somewhere deep within her tiny, still-forming body, and she knew it would be a lie. Because this life  _was_  worth it.

“If it all turned out the same way – you, this cabin, this child – then yes. It was worth it.”

“What if we lived in a tent?”

She gave him a playful shove. “You know what I mean. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

His breath was shaky, but when he spoke, the words were steady. “I’m glad, Laura.”

A particularly sharp pain erupted in her belly, and she winced. Placing her hand on her stomach, she rubbed the area. “I think that was a kick.”

“Really?”

Laura smiled. She had had no idea just how boyish the former Admiral could look when he was excited. Another kick make her laugh, and she reached for Bill’s hand. “You can feel her,” she said, placing his hand on her belly.

They sat there, silent, staring at her womb until their daughter kicked again. Bill gasped. “I felt her!”

She ran her hand through his hair, watching as he leaned in closer and kissed the spot the baby had kicked. Yes, she thought to herself. It was definitely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A portion of this story was inspired by 'Coming Clean' by nixmom on LJ.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting clean, and facing terrifying possibilities.

The air was muggy, and Laura grimaced as she blew a curl of hair off her face.

“I need a shower.”

Bill didn’t miss a beat, leaning over and sniffing her. “Nah. I’ve smelled worse.”

“Bill!”

He laughed. “I just brought a few buckets of water in. Have at it.”

“No. Not a sponge bath, although I’m sure you’d enjoy that show. A real shower. With water pressure and heat for my back-“

“Your back hurt?”

“I  _am_  lugging your child around.”

“Turn around. I’ll rub it for you.”

“No. I feel sticky and dirty.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you. Cottle said short walks. I don’t think he had a trip to Galactica in mind.”

Laura frowned. “We can walk slowly.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

She raised an eyebrow suggestively. “I’ll let you wash my back.”

“As much as I appreciate the privilege, we had sex already this week.”

“Who said anything about sex?”

“Laura.” He closed the book in his hands, keeping a finger inside to mark his place. “Having you naked, wet, and soapy in front of me automatically equals sex.”

She sidled up to him, pulling the book from his hands. “There are other things we can do, you know.”

“You are a wicked woman.”

“And you love it.” She leaned in to nibble at his neck.

“You’re shameless, Laura. Putting our child at risk, offering sexual favors…all to get a shower.”

“She’s fine. You heard Cottle the other day. We’re both the picture of health. But you’re right about the sexual favors. You know I’ll wash you too…” Her hand slipped between his legs and began a gentle massage that she knew he would not be able to resist.

“How bout I run a bath for you?”

She groaned, pulling away from him. “I tried. I’m going. Sullivan can come with me.”

“And do what?”

Laura rolled her eyes. “I’ll have him wash my hair. And Nealon can shave my legs. Bout time those guys got rewarded for their service.”

“Yes, because tending to a pregnant woman is a fantasy come true.”

She gasped. “I don’t hear you complaining.”

He grinned at her, pulling her back to his side. “That’s because you’re my wife. And I like taking care of you.”

“Then come with me.” She fingered the collar of his shirt playfully.

“Well if I can’t talk you out of it, I suppose I’ll join you.”

“Oh good. I’ll get my bag.”

He shook his head, watching as she stepped into the bedroom and returned immediately with her duffle bag, packed and ready to go. “You planned this,” he observed.

She nodded, patting the bag. “Let’s go, Admiral. I’m a dirty woman.”

*****

The walk to Galactica was a thrill for Laura, who hadn’t been out of the cabin since her visit to sick bay. She took it all in – the blue sky, the sound of the wildlife around them – and sighed happily.

“I’m really glad you came,” she said, squeezing Bill’s hand.

Her smile was contagious, and he nodded in agreement. “Me too. How do you feel?”

“Perfect.”

“And the little one?”

Laura’s connection to their unborn daughter was a source of endless fascination for them. She was beginning to sense the baby’s moods, energy levels, and even sleep patterns. “She’s sleeping. I think the walk rocked her to sleep.”

Bill closed his eyes in silent gratitude. His life was fuller than it had ever been, and he was finally in a place where he could appreciate it. As much as he loved Carolanne and his sons, there was always something lingering in his soul, as if he’d taken it all for granted. Getting married and having a family was what you did. His focus, he was ashamed to admit now, was more on his military career. But Laura and this life and their baby were a complete surprise. One he never could have imagined, even during those nights on New Caprica when his love for her had bloomed into something that turned his entire life upside down.

“What are you thinking?”

Bill smiled. “New Caprica.”

Laura could tell by his smile what exactly about that planet he was thinking. “Remember those heavy rains? And we’d stop whatever we were doing to make love when they hit?”

“Thunder provides a fine cover for other sounds.”

She laughed. “I’m pretty sure the sound of thunder still arouses me.”

“Well then. Let’s pray for a storm.”

*****

“Gods, it’s stuffy in here.”

They stepped inside his old quarters, Sullivan and Nealon standing guard outside the hatch, which Bill closed and locked. Truth be told, he didn’t like coming here. It was like visiting a grave. The walls were bare, the room devoid of furnishings and cherished items.

But Laura took no notice, heading straight for the head. She left a trail of discarded clothes in her wake. He followed her, standing in the doorway to the head and watching as she took various toiletries out of her bag. “Have I thanked you for this yet this week?” She waved a bottle of shampoo at him.

“Not since last Tuesday.”

“Seriously, Bill. This rivals that bowl of chocolate for the best gift I’ve ever gotten. I’m not sure I could possibly make it up to you.”

He smiled, coming up behind her and sliding his arms around her. “Give birth to my child, and we’re even.”

She nodded happily. “Deal. Now strip.”

He followed orders, while remembering just how difficult it was to find what was possibly the last bottle of shampoo in existence. It was a covert operation that rivaled nothing he’d seen since the First Cylon War. In the end, he had to give up three pieces of jewelry and a fine watch for it. But Laura’s reaction, which included a squeal and a leap into his arms, was completely worth it.

She was currently bent over, placing the cherished bottle and their bar of soap into the shower stall. “Has anyone told you that you have a fantastic ass?”

“No sex, Bill.”

“Just an observation.”

“Well thank you.” She stepped behind the curtain and called, “I’m wet and naked. You coming?”

“Remind me again about the ‘no sex’ thing,” he said, following her into the shower.

“Just remember the look on Cottle’s face when he found out we were having sex.”

He held up his hand. “Got it.”

Laura turned her back to Bill and stood under the spray. She sighed as the water ran down her body, washing away everything but the present moment.

Bill watched her, with her hands on the tile before her, head bowed. Her back moved with her deep breaths, and he could sense the peace coming from her. He didn’t know what water did for her, but he knew it symbolized something important. He was reluctant to intrude.

“I’m hogging the water,” she said, reaching a hand back in invitation.

“S’okay.” He pressed his chest to her back, his arms winding around her.

“Can we live in here?”

He chuckled into her neck. “Eating would be a challenge.”

“I used to smoke in the shower. I think I could handle it.”

He’d had an inkling that she had smoked, could tell by the ease with which she handled their New Caprican Weed. Still, her confirmation was something new he could add to his ever growing file on Laura Roslin-Adama. His mind played with the information until it was no longer new, but familiar. He pictured her in a shower stall like this, one hand up and out of the spray, taking a drag as she shaved her legs.

She pushed back so her head was out of the spray, leaning into his chest. All of a sudden she gasped, her hands reaching for her belly.

“What?!”

“I…I don’t…wait…”

“Should I get Cottle?”

“No, no. It’s okay.” Her hand grasped his, squeezing in reassurance.

He waited her out, watching her eyes dart back and forth as if she were processing information.

“She likes the water,” Laura finally said.

Bill looked down at the water, hitting her belly. “She told you that?”

She shook her head. “Not in words. I felt her think of the rainstorm, and wonder if she was feeling the same thing. I thought of the same thing I’d told her then- that it was like the warm fluid she was in. That made her happy.”

Bill’s grip tightened around Laura as he kissed her shoulder. Although she had been able to feel the baby’s moods, there had been no conscious thought coming from the baby directly to Laura before.

“She’s so smart, Bill.”

“Maybe all babies are smart, and you’re just lucky enough to be able to feel it.”

“Yeah.” She smiled at that, leaning her head back against his shoulder for a moment as she felt the baby do her own little rain dance inside of her.

“You want me to shave your legs?”

Laura nodded with a smile. “Unless you like curling up to prickly legs.”

She felt him shrug. “So long as they are your legs, I’m happy.”

She giggled as he released her and reached for the shampoo bottle, taking care not to use too much. Only half the bottle remained, and he knew Laura would mourn the day she ran out. She kept her head bowed as he washed her hair, her eyes on her belly as her hands ran over the places the baby kicked and moved. His hands moved through her hair and he took the opportunity to rub her neck and back. He swore he heard a muffled hum, and he grinned as he continued, stopping short of her ass.

“Okay, rinse,” he commanded, helping her turn. He stared at her as she rinsed her hair, taking in all the glorious changes to her body. Her breasts were fuller than he’d ever seen, her belly compact and firm, her skin taut around her belly and sprinkled with tiny explosions of freckles in different places. No one could be perfect, but she was perfect for him.

“No sex,Bill.”

Her words pulled him from his train of thought. “I know.” Despite their rule, he could not help but step forward and claim her lips with his own, kissing her long and deep until she gasped for breath. She narrowed her eyes at him curiously.

“I did this,” he whispered against her cheek. He placed his hand on her womb for emphasis.

“Yes, you did.” Her hands wove through his hair as he embraced her. Bill was not an overly possessive man, nor was he the jealous type. But sometimes when they were alone, he felt the need to claim her, mark and state his territory. She was shocked when she realized she liked it, because she felt the same way. He was hers as well, and he loved when she said so. Normally she would indulge him, goad him on with whispers of possession. But now was not the time.

He sensed it too, releasing her with a kiss to her mouth. “You wanna stay in here while I shave you?”

“Can you see in here?”

Bill nodded, reaching for his razor and a tube of gel someone had procured from a plant not too far from camp. He did one leg at a time, smoothing the gel over her thighs and down to her ankles. Laura leaned against the tile with her leg bent to allow him access as he worked.  He had a straight razor, and she loved the feel of it. She loved it more when he used it on her. It could be a deadly weapon, but he used it with so much care. He was so gentle with her now that it was just them, no titles or fleet issues between them. Surrendering to his care was, surprisingly, a great relief.

It could also be a major turn-on. She tried not to squirm as she felt her arousal grow with every careful glide of the razor. As he finished her left leg, he leaned in and planted an open mouthed kiss to the inside of her thigh. She gasped, her body throbbing in response.

“We can’t…”

“I can smell you, Laura.” She knew that voice. Low and husky. He was as turned on as she was.

“I’m sorry. “ She sighed, turning into the spray and rinsing her legs. When she turned to face him, his back was to her. She frowned, grabbing his shoulders and turning him around. He was fully aroused. She smiled at him. “You trying to hide this or something?”

“It’ll go down. Just let me get cleaned up.”

“Oh no. You wash me, I wash you.”

“Laura…”

“There’s no reason why we both have to leave this shower completely frustrated.” She pushed him under the spray as she reached for the soap. She started with his back, rubbing his shoulders and lower back. She paid special attention to his ass, squeezing the muscles before her hands wandered around his waist.

“Can you turn please?”

He did, and she started on his chest, working the soap up to his neck. She watched in fascination as his cock pulsed when she ran her hands over his nipples.  Giggling, she leaned in and licked the sensitive skin, grimacing at the taste of the soap. He groaned when her hands glided down his chest and found his cock.

“I know you like to keep your tools clean,” she murmured against his chest.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten a hand job. It made him feel like a teenager. Her hands were wicked and magical. She massaged the length of him, twisting and pulling gently. The novelty of the act had him close to completion sooner than he’d have liked, and the moment she pulled away from him slightly, keeping her hands on his cock, he knew he was done for.

“I want to watch you come,” she said. Her skin was flushed, and he knew it was not simply from the heat of the shower. “Did you think of me in here, when I was your President?”

“Yes,” he hissed.

“Tell me,” she commanded.

“Every frakking morning, Laura. For years.”

“Did you come in here, thinking of me?”

He closed his eyes as he thought about all those mornings he stood in this very spot, thinking of her and jerking himself off. He’d hated himself for it, for thinking of her that way, especially when she was sick. His eyes fluttered open when he felt her hands release him.

“Show me, Bill. Show me what you did while you thought of me.”

If he hadn’t been so frakking close, his self-consciousness might have taken over and denied her. But it was fitting now, having her in here with him, turned on by him in the same way she’d turned him on all those years ago. He stood back against the wall and grabbed his cock, the movement and routine coming back to him instantly, even though he hadn’t pleasured himself in ages. He forced himself to look at Laura, who stood close to him, but not touching. Her eyes were pinned to his cock, watching his movements as if she were witnessing a planetary alignment. He thought of what it would be like to watch her pleasure herself, and that sent him over the edge. His hips began a sloppy thrust into his hand, seeking that final tug that would have him soaring. He heard Laura moan beside him, and his body exploded in familiar bliss. He gasped, throwing his head back against the tile, his free hand blindly reaching for Laura beside him.

He felt her lean into his shoulder with a satisfied hum. He took pride in knowing his wife’s sounds, and despite the haze of orgasm, he knew what that one meant. Opening his eyes, he watched her nuzzle her body into his.

“Laura?”

“Mm hmmm?”

“Were you touching yourself?” He’d never forgive himself if he’d missed that.

“No, it just happened.”

“What?”

“I came, Bill.”

“How?”

She giggled. “That’s never happened to me before. Wet dreams, yes, but never an orgasm without being touched.”

“Women can have wet dreams?”

“Shhh, this is nice.” She pressed against his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

He held her, his mind racing between the knowledge that his wife had come just from watching him pleasure himself, and that she’d just admitted to having wet dreams. He was definitely going to have to keep an eye on her while she slept.

As always, they stayed until the water became lukewarm, Bill having to practically force Laura out of the stall. He dried her first, planting a kiss to her belly as he bent down to reach her legs.

“Just think. One day soon this will be a family affair.”

He looked up from wiping off her foot. “What do you mean?”

“I think she’ll like the shower.”

“You want to take the baby in the shower?”

She frowned at him. “They come waterproof, you know.”

“You bathe babies in tiny tubs, Laura. Not…” he waved his hand toward the dripping wet stall.

“I’m not saying we immerse her immediately after birth, Bill. Didn’t you ever shower with the boys?”

“Sure. But they were older. They could stand on their own.”

Laura couldn’t help but smile thinking of Bill showing his sons the proper way to clean their bodies. “So, you’ll be okay with our toddler daughter seeing you naked then?”

Bill shrugged as he wiped his torso with the now damp towel. “I have no issues with that. Perfect teaching opportunity.”

She bit back a laugh as she tried to imagine Bill explaining to their little girl the difference between boy parts and girl parts.

“You find that funny?”

“Kind of. Yeah.”

“Turn around.”

She did, smiling. He always braided her hair after they showered. He took his time, making sure he did a good job before pulling a strip of fabric from her duffel bag and tying it around the end of the braid. Sometimes, she couldn’t remember how he used to be, back when they were at odds and he’d thrown her into the brig. To think that the same man now shaved her legs and braided her hair – that he actually wanted to – was almost mind boggling. But that’s what she loved about him. He was a stern leader, but could be so gentle and kind it broke her heart. She waited for the kiss to the top of her head, which he always did, before turning around.

“Shall we?”

She nodded, taking a quick look around to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. Bill headed out to the main room, picking up the trail of clothes she’d stripped off as soon as they arrived. Placing them into the duffel bag with their supplies and his discarded clothes, he reached for her hand.

“Hold on,” she said, fixing his shirt collar with her free hand.

“I love that you packed clean clothes for me, too.”

“I’m always prepared.” Laura smiled, leading him out the hatch.

*****

Three days later

“Bill, this is beautiful.” Laura fingered the woven basket her husband had brought home from camp. It was fashioned like an Artemis basket, which was a familiar item back on the Colonies. It was large enough for an infant, with handles and a hooded top. She smiled thinking of their daughter napping inside it between them on the couch.

“Yeah, good craftsmanship.” Bill was sorting through his small tool box, trying to find just the right spot for a tiny brush he’d managed to find.

“Who made it? I’d like to thank them. Maybe with something from our garden when it gets going.”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I didn’t ask who made it,” he replied, not looking up from his task.

“Well then where did you get it?”

“Saul.”

“Well how did he get it?”

“From…someone. I guess.” His tone was distracted as he continued to poke around in his tool box.

Laura clenched her jaw. “Are we playing Twenty Questions, or are you going to tell me how we ended up with this? I can’t imagine there’s an assembly line set up down there.”

Bill sighed. “Someone didn’t need it anymore. That’s what I was told.”

“Did they outgrow it?”

He slammed the lid of the tool box down. “I guess so.”

Laura rubbed her side, the baby kicking furiously at the sound of the metal tool box and its contents being tossed carelessly onto Bill’s desk. “Something happen down there?”

Bill turned to Laura, nestled on the couch with her legs curled at her side, her hands making repetitive motions on her belly. “She kicking?”

“She doesn’t like when Daddy makes loud noises.”

He crossed to the couch and sat beside her, running his hand over her belly. “Sorry, little one.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

Bill looked at the basket Saul had given him, empty and waiting for their child, and shrugged.

Laura pondered her husband. If he didn’t want to talk about it, he could have done a fair job of avoiding the issue, instead of making it obvious that something was on his mind. “Did you have a drink today?”

He shook his head. “Wanted to.”

“Did you argue with Saul?”

“No.”

“I don’t want to force it out of you, Bill. If you want to talk, I’m right here.”

“I know. I’m not very good at this. Saul and I, we have a problem, we drink, maybe throw a punch or two. Let off some steam. I don’t know how to just sit and talk to him.”

“What about Lee?”

“He was on Galactica. Some meeting about water supply. I didn’t want to bother him.”

“So that leaves me.”

His eyes never left his lap. His audible intake of breath was watery. The silence was deafening until he broke it with shaky words. “I need a drink, Laura.”

The fact that she knew it did not soften the blow. Anger rose within her until she had the presence of mind to push it aside. This could not be about her feelings. “Can you tell me why you need a drink?”

Minutes passed while she waited on him – watched his gaze shift from his lap to the basket before them. His eyes were filled with tears, but not one fell while he spoke. “The basket was made for a woman named Christine. She was a Six. Got pregnant either not long after we settled, or just before. The father is a young man from the Pan Galactic. She died giving birth. According to Saul, emergency surgery would have saved them, but without morpha…”

“Them?”

“Baby died too.”

Laura had no words. Childbirth was always potentially dangerous, but with modern science, many of the risks had been effectively neutralized. Now, many facets of modern medicine were lost to them on this planet. They didn’t have much technology, equipment, or supplies. But knowing that someone had actually died during labor chilled her to the bone.

“You see why I didn’t want to talk to you about this.”

“No, Bill. I want you to talk to me. I’m glad you did.”

His sob took her by surprise. She reached immediately for his shaking shoulders and pulled him close.

“It’s okay. We’re right here.”

He buried his face in her shirt, clutching fistfuls of the fabric like a lifeline. Laura held him, whispering reassurances in his ear. She had never seen him like this – so raw and vulnerable. It broke her heart.

“I couldn’t face that, Laura. I couldn’t…”

Her own tears began to fall as she realized there was nothing she could say to make it better. She had no real reassurances for him. All she could do was hold him tight. She tugged on his hand, still gripping her shirt, and placed it on her belly so he could feel their child alive and well. She wanted him to feel both of them, hearts beating and responding to his touch.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Planning for the future, and other scenes from the ninth month.

“Oh my Gods, Bill. Please don’t stop.”

“I am getting a little tired. Maybe we can switch positions?”

“Don’t you even dare speak to me about being tired. My body is full with  _your_  child.” Laura moaned as he hit a particular sweet spot.

Bill bit his lip and continued with his duties, remembering full well how Carolanne got towards the end of her pregnancies. The best thing he could do was smile and nod.

Laura hummed, jerking her leg back. Bill immediately stopped. “What?”

“For the sake of the Gods! Don’t stop!” She shoved her swollen foot back into his lap, a little too close to his sensitive areas.

“I don’t know if this is even a good idea. Those books say-“

“Frak the books, Bill. The books are not pregnant. The books do not have feet too swollen to fit into their shoes.”

“Have you read the chapters I marked for you?”

“No,” she mumbled, sighing as he continued rubbing her foot.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, Bill. Let’s just be quiet.”

“I’d think you’d want to know all there is to know about labor and delivery.”

Laura sighed. “Those books were written for women who had med centers and hospitals at their disposal. We don’t have any of that. I refuse to scare myself with what can go wrong.”

Bill nodded. “I understand that. Maybe I can read just the important things.”

“Please do. I can’t wait to hear you describe what it’s like to deliver the placenta. Or how the doctor will have to sew me back together.”

Bill winced. “It’s just a tiny tear, Laura.”

Her foot left his hands and connected with his cock before he knew what was happening. “A tiny tear? Let’s cut you down there and see how tiny it is!”

“Okay, okay. Bad choice of words,” he admitted, rubbing himself. “That really frakking hurt, Laura.”

“You really want to go there, Bill?”

He raised his hand in surrender, resting his head on the back of the couch. After a few moments, she moved closer to him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, covering his hand over his aching cock.

Bill exhaled slowly. He wasn’t exactly sure how much longer he could take these mood swings. She was getting violent. “Don’t touch it.”

“But I feel bad. Can I help make it better?”

“No,” he said, gritting his teeth against the nausea he felt.  It wasn’t a hard kick to his groin, more like an overenthusiastic nudge, but it still hurt.

She pulled her hand away and went to move back to her corner when he stopped her, tugging on her arm and pulling her back to his side. She snuggled up to him as best she could, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I guess maybe I am a little scared,” she admitted.

“A little? I’d be terrified. I guess that’s why men don’t have babies.”

“Will you still read me the important things?”

“Of course.”

They were quiet until the baby began to kick, her movements registering in Bill’s side as well as Laura’s.

“I think we’re squashing her.”

“Sorry, little one.” Bill scooted over slightly and then lifted Laura’s top so her belly was exposed. He began to poke gently, waiting for a response. She began to kick where he poked, Laura’s belly moving in peculiar ways that never failed to fascinate him.

“By all means. Carry on, you two. I don’t mind.” Laura said, rubbing her side.

“Does it hurt?”

“No. Not really. Only if she gets going. And you can always get her going.”

Bill smiled as the outline of a body part pressed against her belly. “Is that a foot?”

Laura nodded, and he leaned in and kissed the foot, wondering if the baby would be able to feel it.

“I want to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“The first time you had cancer, Hera’s blood cured you, at least for a time. Do you think our baby’s blood could do the same?”

Laura sighed, pulling her top back down over her belly. She was wondering when he’d bring this particular subject up. It was one she’d thought of many times over the last few months. “I suppose it could. Stands to reason.”

Bill nodded, not wanting to ask the follow-up question, but desperately needing the answer just the same. “Would you…”

“I don’t know, Bill. It can be dangerous. And maybe I won’t get cancer again. We assume, but we don’t know.”

“I just think…What if one day, I’m gone and you’re all she has? Wouldn’t you want the opportunity to stay with her?”

Laura looked down at her belly, her hand running over it protectively. She could not, would not, consider a life without her husband. But she knew from experience – pushing something from one’s mind did not make it go away. “I couldn’t imagine leaving her,” she admitted.

Bill nodded, kissing her forehead. “I’ll talk to Cottle.”

“But how can we save her blood? Who knows when I might need it?”

“We have the ability to cryopreserve it. And since some of Galactica is still running, we can keep it for the foreseeable future.”

“You already spoke to Cottle about this.”

“Yes. I just wanted to know our options before I brought it up to you.”

“And he has no concerns about harvesting her blood?”

“No more than testing her fluid. He agrees that the potential benefits outweigh the risks. Even if you never need it, the baby might someday.”

“Can we get it from her cord blood?”

“We can, but in order to try and ensure the same results, he thinks recreating the original circumstances is the best way.”

“Billy told me that Cottle was against injecting me with Hera’s stem cells the first time. Why is he okay with it now?”

“I never asked him his opinion, Laura. She’s our child, and we have every right to do it.”

“Well then. I suppose we should do it.” She squeezed his hand, offering up a brave smile.

*****

“Is all this strapping down really necessary?” Laura squirmed at the restrains over her chest and arms.

“I already told you – yes.” Cottle had his back to them, fussing with something on the tray in front of him.

Bill gave Laura a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand. “It’s gonna be just fine.”

“If you’re gonna stay in here, move up to the head of the bed,” Cottle said to Bill, pushing him to the side.

Bill mulled over a couple of stern replies, but Laura’s eyes sought his, the fear coming off her in waves. “Everything’s going to be fine, Laura. Remember what we talked about. Tell her that.”

Laura nodded, closing her eyes and projecting to her daughter what was about to happen. Telling her to keep still and calm, and that she was safe.

“You’ll feel this,” Cottle warned. “Just stay still.”

Laura focused on her daughter, and her own breathing, willing both of them to remain calm. She winced as the needle pierced her skin and went deeper, seeking out their baby’s blood. She grimaced as she felt a muted panic coming from the baby, “It’s okay…It’ll be all over soon. Just stay still…”

“You’re doing good, Laura,” Bill said. “We’re almost done.”

Laura’s eyes popped open. “We are?”

“We’re done,” said Cottle. “Just don’t move. Extracting the needle now.”

“She okay?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, I think so. She’s calmer now. A little confused.”

“Can we see her?”

Cottle nodded and took off behind the curtain with the blood sample. Bill was helping Laura unfasten her restraints when the curtain flew open and a familiar face greeted them.

“Hello Laura. Admiral.” Layne Ishay pulled the ultrasound machine in behind her and closed the curtain.

“Ishay, hi.” Laura returned the nurse’s smile, but wasn’t sure if any other social gestures were appropriate.

“Ishay.” Bill nodded in greeting. “Where’s the doc been hiding you?”

Laura jumped in before she could respond. “I told you, Bill. She’s accompanied several expeditions since we’ve settled. She’s the reason our teams come back safe and sound.”

Ishay laughed, booting up the machine. “I don’t know about that last part. But it’s been exciting for sure. Good to be back though. Cottle told me about your little production here. Let’s take a look, shall we?”

Laura shifted slightly in the bed to get a better view at the screen, careful not to rub off the gel that had just been placed on her stomach. The screen flickered to life, blurry for several moments until the right position was located and their baby came into view.

“She looks good,” said Bill, leaning in for a better look.

“Getting cramped in there, poor thing.” Ishay moved the wand around slightly. “You’re right though. Everything looks good.”

“Look at her hand, Laura. It’s like she’s waving at us.”

Laura shook her head. “He’s an expert now.”

“Actually, she’s tugging on the umbilical cord. So it does look like a wave,” Ishay said, hitting a button on the side of the machine. It made a funny noise, and a piece of paper slid out of an opening near the bottom. She grabbed it, and presented it to Bill and Laura. “I don’t suppose you have one of these. Cottle says there’s a print paper shortage for this machine, which is accurate, but he’ll never know.”

Laura grinned, looking at the printout of their baby’s image on the monitor. “Thank you.”

“Are those her feet?” Bill asked, his attention back on the screen.

“Yes,” Ishay confirmed, looking at the screen which showed nothing except for two small baby feet. “She’s quite the active one, despite the lack of room.”

“You have no idea. Especially when the Admiral riles her up.” Laura felt the baby roll back over, her face back on the screen.

“Look at her mouth opening and closing,” observed Bill, content to sit and watch all day.

“You two are going to blow out the monitor on that thing,” Cottle said, breezing back behind the curtain.

“Party’s over,” said Ishay, removing the wand and turning the machine off.

“Everything looks good?” Cottle asked. Off Ishay’s nod, he turned to Laura. “No cramping, nausea, anything out of the ordinary?”

“No,” said Laura.

“Good. But I don’t want you leaving this bed today. Don’t make me have to kick your husband’s ass.”

“Yes, sir.”

Bill shook his head as he watched Cottle exit, thinking it was good that he was a fine doctor. It was the only reason he let him get away with his colorful remarks.

“Well, I suppose that’s my cue too. I’ll leave the curtain drawn so you can have some privacy.” Ishay smiled at Laura. “You know which button rings me.”

Laura nodded. “I remember.”

“I’ll check back in with you.”

“Ishay?” Laura pulled herself up to a semi-reclining position. “Will you be at the birth?”

The young nurse was startled by the question, but recovered quickly. “If you want me to, I will.”

“I’d like that. Very much. If you wouldn’t mind.”

“No, I’d be honored. I’m excited to meet this little one too.”

Bill watched her leave, dragging the machine out behind her. He swore he saw her smile before the curtain closed.

“So. I’m here for the day,” Laura said, looking at him expectantly.

“As we figured.”

“Well? Did you bring it?”

Bill smiled, leaning down and pulling two books from their duffel bag. “Of course I did.”

“Two books? I’m not moving in, Bill.”

“I thought I might be able to tempt you with a little labor and delivery talk.” He waved the pink and blue pregnancy book at her.

Laura wrinkled her nose. “We prefer a little mystery, please.” She ran her hand over her belly for emphasis.

“Alright. Ladies’ choice.”

She propped herself on her side as Bill opened the book to the marked page. He pulled his chair closer to the bed and began to read. He leaned in close to her belly as he did so, and after a few moments, he looked at her.

“Is she listening?”

Laura grinned. “Yes, she is.”

It had taken about a week for her to realize the pattern – the baby settling down within her whenever Bill read to her. She was still, save for the occasional moment when he would raise his voice for emphasis and she’d give a slight kick in response. It wasn’t quite like sleep, which Laura found she could sense in a different way, although she was hard pressed to explain the different sensations. It was something akin to excitement that the baby felt when Bill read.

Today, however, there was something new. Perhaps it was a direct result of the stress from the day’s event, perhaps it was an inevitability given how fast the baby was developing now. She had felt happiness coming from her daughter before, but never this much, and never this strongly. She couldn’t help but giggle.

Bill looked up from the book. “What?”

She shook her head. “I- _She_ ’ _s_  happy.”

“The baby?”

“Yeah.”

Bill rested his hand on her belly. “Another bookworm on our hands.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s you, Bill. She gets happy when you talk to her.”

He grinned, one of those big smiles she never got enough of. “Well, Little One, what do you say we get back to the story? If I remember correctly, this is when it really picks up…”

*****  
 _Several days later_

“Television.”

“Movies.”

“Popped corn.”

“Ceiling fans.”

“Lemonade.”

“A decent hair brush.”

Laura looked at Bill. “A decent hair brush?”

“What? In case you haven’t noticed, you aren’t the only one in this house with a head full of hair.”

She shook her head, continuing the game. “Hair clips.”

“Those vibrating beds at cheap motels.” Off Laura’s look, he added, “What? We said no judgment. We just name what we miss most about advanced society.”

Laura nodded. “Carbonated drinks.”

“A real frakking cup of coffee every morning.”

“Tempest in a Tea Cup. I loved their coffees.”

“I never went to those chain places. There was a place on West Third that made great coffee, and the best apple pie you’ve ever had.”

“Delancey’s,” Laura added.

“You remember it?”

“I loved that apple pie! With the cinnamon whipped cream…”

“Did you go there often?”

“Couple times a month. You?”

“When I was on leave, I ate there every night.”

“Really? Maybe we were there at the same time.”

“I doubt it. I would have noticed you.”

She clicked her tongue. “You say that now. But you didn’t give me a second glance when we first met.”

“Sure I did. I just didn’t make a spectacle of myself. I’m smooth that way.”

She laughed at that. “Did you wear your uniform?”

“To eat? Sometimes. Why?”

“Just getting a mental picture.”

“I have one. Of you. On a stool at their counter. Legs cutting a fine line to the floor, hair tucked behind one ear while you eat. Extra whipped cream on your pie.”

Laura grinned. “Only a little extra.”

“Of course.”

“Okay, let’s continue. Candles. The scented kind.”

“Horse races.”

“Snow.”

“Ice cubes.”

“My vibrator.”

Bill’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Why do you miss that?”

“No judgment, Bill.”

“I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Is there something I’m not giving you?”

“What? No! It has nothing to do with you, Bill. It’s just different.”

“Different how?”

“Oh no. We already had sex this week.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Bill, what exactly do you think would happen if I described, in detail, just what old Bob did for me?”

“Bob?”

“Lots of women named their vibrators.”

“I wasn’t aware that lots of women had vibrators.”

“Oh please! Practically every woman on Caprica had a vibrator. I’m sure your ex had one too.”

Bill shook his head. “Definitely not Carolanne.”

“I’ll bet you a bushel of apples she had one. She was a military wife. She needed something to help her out while you were away.”

“She had something, although I don’t believe his name was Bob.  I think it was Dan, and he was our next door neighbor.”

Laura bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Bill…”

“Don’t be. It was a long time ago, and she had needs I neglected to fulfill.”

She slowly inched closer to him until their shoulders touched. “You know we don’t have that problem, right?”

“I know. We have no neighbors.”

She shook her head. “Bill, I’m serious. I don’t want you to think I’m not happy, or not satisfied…”

“I don’t think any of that, Laura. I promise. You make it quite clear that I make you happy.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad.” She offered him a smile. “This is where you kiss me chastely, because I can’t lean forward without assistance.”

He did as he was told, happy to oblige.

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“Trying to take my mind off my discomfort.”

“I do what I can.”

“Will you read to me?”

“Sure. We need to find out where that clue leads our detective.”

“No.” She stilled his hand as he leaned forward for the novel on the table in front of them. “You can read one of those pregnancy books you’re so hot for.”

He smiled, patting her leg before getting up and going into the bedroom to fetch the book. He had his hand on it on the nightstand when he heard her call to him.

“Can we read it in there? My back’s had enough of this couch.”

“Sure,” he called over his shoulder. After a beat, he added, “Need a hand?”

“Yes.” She wore a frown when he went back out to the main room. “This is getting ridiculous.”

“Well, it’ll be over soon.” His hands grasped hers and he pulled her up, his arm quickly going around her back to guide her into the bedroom.

“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to push another person out of your body.”

“And on that note…” He helped her onto the bed, and went quickly to the other side, climbing in and sitting with his back against the headboard. He opened his arms and she went willingly, arranging herself against his chest, their legs tangled together.

“Am I too heavy?”

“No. Do you need any pillows?”

She nestled her head against his chest. “Nope.”

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and cracked the book open. “ _Your baby, this month. Halfway through this month, your baby will be considered full term and ready to be born. During the month, growth continues to be rapid. At this point, she has pretty much run out of kicking space, but it’s still important to keep track of her squirming and wiggling. Most babies have settled into a head-down position. The umbilical cord has grown to over two feet in length…_ ”

Laura listened to her husband read about fetal activity, urinary frequency, and lightening. It was comforting to hear about the more serious matters that lay ahead through his voice, rather than reading about them herself. She loved him for trying to distract her with games and thoughts about other things, but her discomfort was not solely physical. Her ever-growing belly, her swollen feet, the heartburn, backaches, and other assorted ailments were things she could handle. But the general feeling of unbalance, that everything was changing – not just her body but their lives as well – was unsettling to her. Just as she found her physical center of gravity had changed, so had her emotional gravity. It was still Bill, it would always be Bill, but they were evolving into their new roles as parents. She felt soft, pliable, able but not ready to be molded into whatever shape was needed. And Bill was strong and steady around her. She would probably never admit it to him, probably didn’t have to, but she felt vulnerable and needy and found herself thanking the Gods every day that he was there for her.

“Laura? Are you listening?”

“Hmmm? Yeah.”

“Sleepy?”

“Kind of.”

He closed the book and placed it by his side. His hand found her hair, fingers running through the length in a rhythmic motion.

“Bill?”

“Yeah?”

“Do those books say anything about swimming?”

“Um, I’m not sure.” He picked up the book beside him and began searching until he found the pertinent information. “It doesn’t say much, besides cautions about not overdoing it, and not swimming in foreign waters.”

“Define foreign waters.”

“Our stream, probably.”

Laura frowned. “You bathe in there.”

“I’m sure it’s not toxic, but this is a foreign planet to us, Laura. There might be some strange bacteria in there we don’t know about.”

“What do you think Cottle would say?”

“Probably not to risk it.”

“I want to ask anyway.”

Bill gritted his teeth and nodded. He was strongly against the idea, but if she wanted to ask Cottle, he’d go along with it, mainly because he was sure the doctor would back his opinion. “I can see what it says about baths in here, although much of that water comes from the stream anyway.”

“No, no.” She patted his arm. “Don’t go to the trouble. Besides, I can’t float in that tub.”

“Ah. Weightlessness is the goal.”

“I feel so heavy and puffy.”

“Can I do anything in the meantime?”

“Not right now. I’ll let you know.”

“Okay.” He kissed her forehead, cuddling her closer.

*****

_Two days later_

 

“Bill? That you?”

“Were you expecting someone else?”

Bill shut the cabin door behind him and dropped the camp supplies he’d gone to fetch at his feet. Laura came out of the bedroom, looking lighter and happier than he’d seen her in weeks.

“Guess what?”

“You’re in labor,” he deadpanned.

“No. We’re going swimming!”

“When?”

“Now.”

“Who said?”

“Cottle.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You asked him?”

“I told you I was going to. I had Nealon leave word with him when he went down to camp.”

“I could have done that.”

“I know, but he went before you did.”

“So he said the stream was safe?”

“Well, he said that since everything was, as he put it, ‘locked up tight’ down there, if I wanted to, I needed to do it now.”

“He examined you?”

“Yeah, he just left. I’m surprised you didn’t pass him on your way home.”

“Did he say anything else?”

“No, just that things can change pretty quick, so we needed to seize the opportunity.”

“He’s okay with this?”

Laura shrugged. “He told me to take it easy, and that he of course didn’t want me swimming if I was in labor, but that’s it.”

Bill frowned. He felt sure the doctor would have some excuse for a heavily pregnant woman not to go swimming.

“You’re not entirely thrilled with this, are you?”

“No, but I know I can’t stop you.”

She nodded, waddling over to him with a bounce in her step he hadn’t seen in a while. “It’s okay, Bill. I’d never do anything to hurt her. You know that. It would mean a lot to me.”

“I know.” He sighed, pulling her close. “We’ll walk slowly. And we’ll take an extra man in case anything comes up. And I don’t want you near the waterfall.”

She smiled. “Deal.”

*****

“Gods. It’s a gorgeous day.”

Bill couldn’t help but agree with his wife. The sun was shining through the trees, and there was a light breeze that offset the slight heat of the day.

“You’re gonna have to help me with these shoes,” she said, leaning back against a tall rock.

“Be right there.” He toed off his own shoes and pulled his shirt off before assisting her with her shoes. Or rather, his shoes. Her feet had grown so swollen that she found she could no longer comfortably wear her own shoes, and had resorted to wearing his. Around the cabin, she was always barefoot, and he sensed she tired of his ‘barefoot and pregnant’ comments, although she hadn’t said so. Since his shoes were still several sizes too big for her, he’d forced her to pile on several layers of socks to make them tighter for their walk to the stream.

“How many pairs of socks did you put on me?”

“Too many, I think.”

Finally pulling off the final pair, he announced her free of her feet’s confinement. He had to pull her back when she headed for the stream pool. “You’ll be escorted into the water properly.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Seriously?”

“As a heart attack.”

She noted that she hadn’t seen him look as stern since he’d thrown her into the brig. She held her arm out for him to take, and he did so with a smile, leading her to the water’s edge. He made their pace painfully slow, and she had to remind herself more than once to relax and let him do his thing.

Once the water reached her chest, however, she turned to him. “Am I allowed to go underwater?”

He bit back a smile. “Yes.”

She disappeared below the surface before he’d finished the word. The water was cold, but wonderfully so. She kept to their agreement, not going near the waterfall. There was still plenty of room for her to swim, and she did so for a long while, only surfacing for air and quickly going back under again. She felt lighter, freer in the water. She could move gracefully, unlike on land, which more often than not had her stumbling and losing her balance.

Bill swam for as long as she did, keeping an eye on her but not getting too close. He didn’t want her to think he was hovering. When he saw her surface and begin to slowly tread water, he came up beside her.

“Doing okay?”

She grinned, water dripping from her face. “Just fine.” Tipping her head back, she relaxed her body and began to float. “I didn’t know if I would float,” she said with a smile.

“Now you know.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not putting up a fight about coming here today.”

“I’m a soldier. I know how to choose my battles.”

“You just wanted to see me in wet tanks.”

“No. That was for the security detail. Keep up the morale.”

“I shudder to think what would happen if I didn’t have you to borrow clothes and shoes from.”

“If you didn’t have me, you wouldn’t need oversized clothes.”

“You think so, huh? Yeah, you’re probably right. Who else would knock up a Cylon schoolteacher?”

He knew she was joking, but he couldn’t help but let it fall flat. He didn’t care what she was, and perhaps it was his love talking, but he had a feeling there were plenty of other men who would feel the same. She was beautiful, even in late pregnancy. She was awkward and bumbling at times, and her belly in recent days had seemed to double in size, although he knew that was impossible. But she was his, and he didn’t want her any other way.

“Did you ask around today?”

“Huh? For what?”

Her head remained straight, eyes closed, face to the sun. “Diapers, Bill.”

“Oh, right. I got a few.”

“A few?”

“Cloth ones.”

“Are they new?”

“I highly doubt it.”

Laura’s nose wrinkled. “This is our only option?”

“I’m afraid so. Unless we get creative with animal skins and leaves.”

“I’m reminding myself that it’s our baby and I won’t mind this process.”

He smiled, but she did not see. “Apparently some people are putting leaves in the cloth diapers, like a liner. We could try that.”

“I’d have to see these leaves first.”

Bill bit his lip, not wanting to mention that after a time, she would not be so picky when it came to changing diapers. Whatever was fastest and easiest would eventually suit her just fine.

“I got a few other items as well.”

“Like what?”

“Clothes.”

“For the baby?”

“Yeah. Mostly used, of course, but a couple of items were knitted by a group of older women recently.”

“Why didn’t you show me?”

“Because you practically dragged me out of the cabin.”

She giggled, coming up from her prone position in the water. “My skin is getting wrinkly.” She wiggled her fingers at him.

“Time to go?”

Laura frowned. “I don’t want to.”

“This isn’t going anywhere. I’m sure Cottle will give you the all clear to resume exercise before you know it.”

“I know. One more lap around.”

He smiled, watching her slip under the water.

*****

“I think we should at least discuss it.”

“I already told you. Not yet.”

Bill sighed, watching as his wife navigated a rocky portion of the trail with a lurch that had his heart in his throat. He resisted the urge to take hold of her hand for the remainder of the walk home. Surprisingly, after regaining her balance, she reached for his hand with a smile. He offered no comment, deciding to continue with their discussion.

“We should at least have some ideas floating around.”

“Bill, I cannot begin to think of names until I see her. And don’t start throwing random names out at me. I don’t want to form prejudices either way.”

“We can look at the ultrasound picture.”

“We can also change the subject.”

Bill raised his free hand in surrender. Truthfully, he had no idea what Laura’s taste in names was like, and he’d wanted to get an idea of their compatibility on the issue.

“You neglected to tell me just how heavy these boxers get when wet,” she said, holding them up at her waist with her free hand.

“You gonna lose em?”

“Not if I hold them up.”

“Best maternity swimwear we could get.” In the past several weeks, Laura had worn his clothes almost exclusively. His tanks every day, which almost covered her belly, and his shorts and boxers, which she had to tie around her waist, below her belly. Elizabeth had given her a larger nightgown with buttons down the top, and that completed her late pregnancy wardrobe. He thought she looked adorable, but the one time he’d said so, she had accused him of lying to make her feel better.

“I never thought I’d miss the clothes Elizabeth gave me when I first came here.  But I can’t wait to get back into them.”

“It’ll be nice to get my clothes back.”

She smiled at him gratefully. “I could always walk around naked.”

“You’ll get no argument here.”

They walked in silence for a short while, listening to the birds chirping and bushes rustling with the movement of wildlife.

“Bill? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you think I’ll be a good mother?”

The question took him by surprise so much that he stopped in his tracks. “What the hell are you talking about?”

The look on her face was one of embarrassment. “You heard me.”

“Laura.” He took two steps toward her. “You already are a wonderful mother. You have nothing to worry about.”

“It’s not the diapers or the burping or any of that stuff. It’s guiding her through life. I mean, how can I teach her to love who she is when I’m not completely content with what I am?”

“ _Who_  you are,” he corrected.

“What?”

“Not  _what you are_. Who you are. Big difference. There are a good number of babies being born that are human and cylon. I’ll bet you, when she gets to school, she’ll have a bunch of classmates just the same. Our child is not a thing, Laura. And neither are you. “

She took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully, her eyes shining with tears. “I just want the best for her.”

“Me too. And I couldn’t choose a better mother for her.”

She smiled, a tear escaping down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away. “Gods. I’m so emotional lately.”

He put his arm around her and they began walking again. “Well you know, the books say that’s completely normal…”

As was his intention, she laughed.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill and Laura finally meet their newest family member.

“I’m not hungry, Laura.”

“Yes you are. It’s past lunch. Besides, I need to keep busy.”

“No, you need to relax and save your energy.”

She stopped stirring the soup, turning to him with a look. “I’m okay. I promise. Besides, if I sit down now, I’ll go crazy.”

“Fine. But after lunch, no more housework.”

“Bill, this part of labor can last hours, even days. Don’t start hovering now.”

Laura was surprised at how calm she felt. For the moment, the anticipation of labor was worse than the actual labor, although she knew that would soon change. She was glad it was underway. She’d started feeling twinges and the like the day before, but hadn’t said anything to Bill. She was glad she didn’t because when she finally announced to him this morning that her contractions were pretty steady, although not too strong and still coming at a slow pace, he’d wanted to confine her to the bed. She found she liked moving around and keeping busy, not just for her body, but for her mind as well.

The baby seemed to be in a state of confusion. Laura couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have your warm home suddenly start tensing up around you. All she could do was let the baby feel her love, and hope that was enough reassurance. She hadn’t mentioned it to Bill, and decided she wouldn’t, unless he brought it up.

And he did, not long after he sat down with his lunch.

“How is she?”

“Confused, I think. Not really distressed. She’s okay.”

His hand reached out and settled on her belly. “We’re going to meet you soon, little one,” he whispered, leaning in close.

A rush of calm flooded through Laura, and its origin was the baby. She smiled at him. “I think you’ll be talking to her a lot during this process. You have a very calming effect on her.”

He grinned. “I hope that goes for her mother as well.”

“As long as you don’t get panicky.”

“I’m a soldier, Laura. I don’t panic.”

She hummed noncommittally in response. He’d become awfully fidgety since her labor had started. She was about to send him to work on his model ship when she felt a warm trickle down her legs. She looked down curiously. “Oh…”

“What?”

“I think my water just broke.”

“Oh. Okay.” Bill stood and went into the bedroom, coming back with something that looked like a clear tarp.

“What is that?”

“An old shower curtain. To protect the floor.”

Laura stood and watched him as he spread the plastic on the floor by her feet. “What am I? A puppy?”

“I’m just being practical.”

“My contractions start, you want me in the bed. My water breaks, you worry about the floor?”

“I’m staying calm and rational, just like you told me.” He took her hand and helped her move over to stand on the makeshift tarp.

“And now what? I stand here? This isn’t the great flood, Bill. It’s just a slow trickle.”

“Well, move where you’d like. We’ll just move it with you.”

She frowned. What was wrong with him? “Gods forbid I soil the couch.”

He sighed. “Laura, we can’t replace anything in this cabin. You focus on you. I’ll worry about everything else.”

“Yes, except me,” she grumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me what you want. I’ll fawn all over you, if that suits you.”

“No, I don’t want that.”

“Okay then.” He stepped closer to her, grabbing her hands. “Can I get you anything?”

“Some boots? My feet are getting wet.”

He laughed. “You’re going to do just fine, Laura.” He placed his hand on her belly. “How is she now?”

She took a deep breath and focused on her daughter. “Not too happy.”

Bill frowned. “Is she scared?”

“No, I don’t really feel fear. Just confusion. More intense now.”

“I wish we could tell her that everything will be okay.”

“I know. I think the worst part of labor will be feeling what she’s going through.”

*****

Twelve hours later, Laura realized just how wrong that thought was. She could barely focus on what the baby was feeling. There was nothing beyond pain. She’d thought herself to be a tough woman, but she wasn’t sure how much more of this she could handle.

Ishay had arrived, and they’d transferred Laura to the bedroom, tarp and all. She said she’d send for Cottle once labor had progressed further, but everything seemed to be at a standstill.

Bill found that he couldn’t read Ishay, and he didn’t like that. He didn’t know her well enough to sense what she was really thinking and feeling. And he didn’t think she’d tell either of them if she had serious concerns. For the moment, he was doing a decent job of keeping his fears at bay, but if her labor didn’t start to progress soon…He forced himself to get out of his head and focus on his wife.

He stood next to Laura, who was currently enduring a contraction with one arm braced on the wall. He resisted the urge to reach for her, because she’d waved him away more than once. He watched as she began to whimper, her free hand reaching blindly for his. He grabbed it, and was surprised at the force with which she gripped him. The arm that braced her shook with effort, and he pulled her close.

“Lean against me, Laura.”

He wasn’t sure she would, but she did so, willingly, her arms looping around his shoulders. She buried her face in his shoulder, muffling her whimpers. They stood that way until her legs grew tired, and Ishay had her move to the bed.

“I want to take a look at how we’re doing.”

Laura lay back against the pillows, her legs splayed open. She’d long since lost her inhibitions about the nurse shining a flashlight between her legs. Candles would not do.

“Ok, Laura. Good news or bad news?”

She didn’t answer, couldn’t as another contraction ripped through her. Bill looked at Ishay expectantly, keeping a firm grip on his wife’s hand.

“You’ve dilated some, which you haven’t in hours. But we aren’t quite halfway there.”

The sob came out of Laura before she’d even realized it. There was no way she could endure this much longer. Bill kneeled at her side.

“It’s gonna be okay, Laura.”

“I’m tired, Bill.”

“I know. Just one contraction at a time, okay?” He looked at Ishay. “And the last half doesn’t necessarily have to last as long as the first, right?”

“No,” the nurse answered, climbing up the bed and sitting close to Laura. “It rarely does, in fact. You can do this, Laura.”

Laura nodded. “When do we send for Cottle?”

“I’m going to do that right now. Excuse me.”

Bill reached for Laura, gently guiding her face toward his. “Just focus on your breathing, Laura. Every contraction brings the end closer.”

She nodded. “Stay here, okay?”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her forehead as another contraction began, stealing her focus.

Ishay came back into the room, informing them that she had one of their officers head down to camp to fetch Cottle. It seemed to barely register with Laura.

“Help me up,” she panted, reaching for Bill.

He looked at Ishay, who nodded and grabbed one of Laura’s arms to help.

“Can’t sit anymore.”

“How do you want to be?”

“I don’t know…”

Ishay took over. “Let’s scoot you to the edge of the bed. I want you on the floor, by the foot of the bed.” With Bill’s help, they positioned Laura so she was holding on to the footboard. “Try squatting or kneeling. Whatever works for you.”

Squatting seemed to work for the moment, although a contraction had her arms and legs shaking with effort, and she was soon on her knees.

“That’s good, Laura. Lean into the bed.”

Bill was immensely grateful for Ishay’s help. He liked to think himself handy under pressure, but seeing his wife in such distress was a little overwhelming.

He wanted to touch her, but refrained. He waited her out, kneeling by her side, until she wordlessly grabbed his hand and thrust it behind her. He knew instinctively that she wanted him to put pressure on her lower back.

“Here?” His fist dug into the base of her spine, and she nodded.

He had a random thought to ask her if she’d wanted to put a robe on before Cottle arrived, although it was nothing he hadn’t seen before. She’d dispensed with the boxers not long after Ishay arrived, and continued to labor in just his tanks.

They continued that way for what seemed like ages. She’d wave him away and grunt answers to any questions she was asked, and Bill would rub her lower back between contractions. He was so focused on her that he’d forgotten all about the doctor, who announced his presence with a toss of his medical bag onto the floor.

 “How are we doing in here?”

No one in the room glanced at Cottle, who quickly tossed his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves. “What are we using for light?”

Ishay grabbed the flashlight and handed it to him.

“Laura?”

She moaned in response, on the end of a contraction.

“I need to check you. You want to get on the bed for me?”

“Hurts,” she grunted.

“I know. I’ll be quick.”

Cottle and Bill helped her from her kneeling position, and Ishay stepped in to help her onto the bed as easily as possible. As she did previously, Laura let her legs fell open, anxious to get the exam over with.

“We were at a four, is that right?” He looked at Ishay, who nodded. “Well now we’re at a seven. Good job, young lady.”

Laura’s response was to reach out with both hands to be pulled up. She moved to the end of the bed, but Ishay stopped her.

“Why don’t you kneel at the head of the bed? Hold on to the headboard.”

“Is that sturdy enough for you?” Cottle asked, pushing down on the mattress to test it.

Laura didn’t care where she was. She wanted everyone to be quiet so she could focus. She was relieved when Bill picked up on her lack of response and suggested that everyone give her some room. She kneeled at the headboard just as another contraction started. Her face buried between her arms, she rocked through it. Time was completely irrelevant to her. She had no idea how long she stayed that way, nothing but the flickering light of the candles illuminating her distress.

Bill sat at the end of the bed, close but out of Laura’s view. If she needed to internalize in order to focus, that’s what he would give her. He hadn’t been in the room when Carolanne had given birth to his sons. He could have, he supposed, but by the time he’d arrived, she was already in very active labor and had a suitable coach by her side, so he was not needed. This was a new and very unpleasant experience. He knew he had it relatively easy, but seeing Laura in so much pain was distressing, fueled by the fact that he could do nothing to help her. The previous hours in which her labor had stalled were some of the most terrifying of his life. He hid it well, but in the world they lived in, losing mothers and babies during childbirth was not uncommon.

For Laura, the contractions soon became stronger and more frequent. They felt slightly different, too. She straightened her back, sitting up and looking for Cottle, who immediately went to her side.

“Need to push,” she said.

“Not yet.” His tone was stern, and brooked no argument. He examined her, and quickly told her that it was not time to push. A rush of anger flooded through her. This was her body. She knew what she was feeling.

Something akin to a growl coming from his wife had Bill on his feet and at her side.

“I have to push,” she pleaded.

“Honey, you can’t yet. I know you need to. You’re almost there.”

Why wasn’t anyone listening to her? She had to get this baby out. “I can’t wait…I have to…” The force of a contraction stole her breath, the sensation of needing to push becoming all consuming. If she could just bear down, it would be better. So much better…

“How much longer until she can push?”

“Not long,” Cottle answered Bill. Turning to Laura, he said, “A couple more contractions. Can you hang in there for that long?”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face.

“Alright boys, let’s give her some room to get through those contractions, alright?” Ishay scooted Bill and Cottle away from Laura, although neither wandered very far. The nurse leaned in and whispered to Laura. “You feel the need to push, I want you to pant or blow instead.” Then she pulled back, leaving Laura to do her thing.

Bill had returned to his spot at the end of the bed. After a few moments, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“How you doing?” Cottle asked.

“Why is she shaking like that?”

“Laboring women do that sometimes.”

“She must be exhausted.”

“Yes, she probably is.”

Bill turned to the doctor, his voice lowered. “Do we need to be concerned?”

Cottle considered him. “Not yet. Some women get a burst of energy when it’s time to push. Let’s hope that’s the case here.”

“I hate just sitting here.” He looked at Laura, alone at the head of the bed, moaning through a contraction.

“This is what works for her. Trust me, when it comes time to push, it’s all hands on deck.”

The concept of time seemed to be a foreign notion in the cabin, their tiny world measured only in contractions and dilation. Bill counted eight contractions before Laura was examined again.

Cottle looked at her with a smile. “You can push now.”

Laura closed her eyes in relief. Any fear she had about pushing had disappeared, at least for the moment. There was nothing beyond getting this baby out.

“Bill? I want you to sit behind her, with your legs on either side. Laura, lean back just a little against him, okay?”

Bill did as Cottle instructed, relieved to be in the middle of the process and able to touch his wife and ground her if she needed it. Ishay tossed their pillows behind his back, so he could sit forward and support Laura. The old shower curtain, now scrunched up beneath them, got straightened out by Cottle before he gave her the all clear to start pushing with her next contraction. Bill pulled the hair from Laura’s face, but resisted the urge to kiss her cheek. Her entire body was trembling, and he wished he could make it stop.

Relief flooded through Laura when she felt the next contraction. Giving in to the urge, she pushed with all her might. Pushing was wonderful, she found. She never wanted to stop. Cottle had to remind her to stop and relax, and remember to breathe, lest the baby get deprived of oxygen. But she was back up as soon as a new contraction began, eager to get the baby out.

*****

Two hours later, Laura was no longer eager. She was exhausted. The contractions took over her body almost nonstop, but she had no energy left to push. She was beyond her breaking point. All she could feel was overwhelming pain, and her unborn daughter’s terror. Not long after she began pushing, she felt something like panic consume her, her daughter distressed and afraid. She began to lose her focus, wanting to comfort the baby. But she could not do both. And splitting her efforts only depleted her energy.

Bill was still at her back, his strong arms around her. One of her hands gripped the cheap plastic underneath her, the other gripped him tightly.

“I’m too tired. Please, Bill…”

“I know. But you have to, Laura. And you will.”

She shook her head like an obstinate child. “No more. I can’t.”

Another contraction began, and all she could do was moan with it, her body tensing up around her womb.

Bill was glad his wife could not see his face. He was pretty sure his expression was one of complete panic. There was no other way to get the baby out. They could not cut her out, which Laura had pleaded Cottle for about fifteen minutes prior. He looked at the doctor now, questions in his eyes.

Doctor and nurse were taking turns between Laura’s legs. It was Cottle now, and he considered Laura before taking a deep breath. “I want you to listen to me, young lady. There’s only one way we’re gonna get this baby out, and that’s with you pushing her. I need you to stop protesting, gather whatever strength you have left, and push.”

Bill and Laura were both stunned. Bill briefly considered punching him when this was all over, but he instantly felt a change in his wife. Her back got straighter, and with the next contraction, she went with it completely. Her pushing wasn’t as strong as it was in the beginning, but it was better than it had just been. And that was a start. He helped her curl around the baby, whispering words of encouragement in her ear. He wasn’t sure if she heard them, but it made him feel better, so he continued.

After ten minutes of continued pushing, Laura found her body growing tired again. She wasn’t sure another pep talk from Cottle would help, nor did she think she could bear to listen to him again. She tried focusing on the newest sensation coming from her body – a stinging, burning pain that she knew signaled the baby’s head beginning to crown. The fear she had thought she left behind when she started pushing came flooding back, and she gripped Bill’s hand even tighter. He’d been whispering to her, mostly things that didn’t register, but his voice grounded her, and she turned her ear to him now, her lips trembling.

“Scared,” she whispered. It was something she’d never have admitted normally, but now she found it effortless to confess.

“I know, love. We’re almost there.” His arms tightened around her. “I’m right here.”

“She’s scared, too.”

The sound of his wife biting back a sob, coupled with the knowledge of his child in distress, very nearly broke Bill. But he took a deep breath and focused. “You know what you have to do. Push her out so we can comfort her, okay?”

“Laura?” ishay, who’d been standing by Cottle’s side, leaned in and took her hand. “I want you to feel something.” The nurse guided her hand between her legs and let her feel the baby’s head. Although Laura could feel the baby’s position, actually touching her helped breathe new life into her efforts.

“Okay. I’m ready now.” She gathered herself as much as she could, and pushed with all her might. She took a deep breath and pushed again through the burning and stinging, nearly screaming in frustration and exhaustion when Cottle instructed her to stop pushing for a moment. But she could feel the progression, feel the baby’s head emerging, and then she was pushing again, one last time through the pain and overwhelming pressure. Everyone was talking, but all she could focus on was the feel of the baby coming out of her…finally. Finally. She collapsed against Bill, her body spent. But a short cry awakened every sense she had, and she looked up to see Cottle holding the baby.

“Oh my Gods.” Laura reached for her with shaky hands. Cottle placed the baby on her chest, and Bill’s lips were at her ear, whispering words of love. But all she could focus on was the tiny infant, who had begun to cry. All at once Laura felt the fear and confusion coming from her daughter, and realized that since the cord had not yet been cut, their connection hadn’t been broken.

“Don’t cut,” she managed to whimper, and someone understood what she meant because Cottle and Ishay backed off and gave them some room.

“Laura?” Bill’s hand covered hers on the baby’s back.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She began whispering reassurances to her daughter while sending her comforting thoughts, praying it would work.

After a moment, the crying weakened to a soft whimper, and the baby looked at Laura.  _Yes, I’m your mother_ , Laura thought.

She tugged Bill close. “Talk to her, Bill.”

“Hi, little one,” he whispered, his voice thick with tears.

Laura felt a surge of excitement coming from the baby at the sound of his voice. “She recognizes you.”

Bill placed his hand on her tiny back. “I love you so much.”

An overwhelming rush of love from daughter to father coursed through Laura, and she bit back a sob. “I can feel how much she loves you, Bill.”

Tears streamed down his face as he leaned in and kissed both of them. That made the baby happy, and Laura could not help but smile through her tears.

Bill asked, “What are you telling her, Laura?”

“Just letting her feel how much we love her.”

“Is she scared?”

Laura smiled.  “Not anymore.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The newest Adama gets a name, and a present from her extended family.

Laura could feel her connection with the baby begin to fade. However long it was, it was not enough. To look into her newborn daughter’s eyes and feel exactly what she was feeling was a miracle, and she mourned the impending loss. She let her love flow from her to the baby one last time, and then it was over. For the first time since their child had been conceived, Laura was alone on the inside.

She looked over at Cottle, in the corner of the room, unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. “You can cut now.”

She felt Bill slide out of the bed, careful to help her rest back against the pillows. Cottle offered an instrument to Bill. “You want to do the honors?”

Bill nodded, and cut the cord where he was shown. Ishay came up beside her.

“Can I take her for a moment? Just want to clean her up a bit.”

Laura nodded reluctantly, handing the baby over. She motioned for Bill to follow her when she heard the baby begin to cry from across the room. “Talk to her,” she said.

She focused on Bill’s voice as Cottle poked and prodded and assisted in the delivery of the afterbirth, which she found more uncomfortable than painful. She wanted to be left alone with her daughter and her husband. Her eyes never left the tiny bundle in front of Ishay, tiny arms and legs wiggling with the freedom that came with being born. She had stopped crying, and Laura contented herself with the thought that it was from hearing her father’s voice.

Cottle was still between her legs, and she had to take a deep breath to avoid kicking him aside. “Can I sit up now?”

“No. You need stitches.”

Laura winced, ready for the birth aspect and all its components to be over with. She clenched her jaw as he worked, reminding herself that it would truly be over soon.

And sure enough, it was. By the time Cottle had finished with her, helping her clean up some and sit in a somewhat upright position, Bill was holding the baby for the first time. She smiled as she watched him, murmuring to the baby and fingering her tiny hands. The look of absolute joy on his face took her breath away.

“Let’s show Mommy how nice and clean you are.” Bill stepped back to the bed and handed her their daughter, all pink and new and contented in her blanket.

“Hi there,” she whispered, kissing her head. Everything around them faded to a blur as she focused on the tiny person in her arms. She had black hair, slightly mussed from Ishay’s sponge bath and dry. Her eyes were blue, now muted with exhaustion. Heavy eyelids closed slowly as Laura stroked her cheeks. Watching her child surrender to sleep made Laura realize how exhausted she was. She felt like she’d taken a sleeping aid. Turning to Bill, she asked him to take the baby.

“You okay?”

“Where’s Cottle?”

She was too sleepy to notice the look of alarm that flashed across her husband’s face. He yelled for the doctor in the main room, causing the baby to jerk in sleep.

Cottle returned, with Ishay right behind him. “What’s wrong?”

“Sleepy…”

“That’s all right,” he said, getting between Bill and the bed. He pushed her shoulders down, forcing her to lie back down. “Perfectly normal. You’ll sleep for a bit.”

Laura wanted to protest, but found herself too tired to form words. The haze engulfed her mind, and she surrendered to sleep.

“That’s not normal,” Bill said.

“For Cylons, it is.”

“What does it mean?”

“I don’t know. Near as I can tell, it’s some sort of recovery system the body has. I’ve seen it in every Cylon birth I’ve attended.”

“And you didn’t think to inform us?”

Cottle frowned. “It’s not exactly textbook. Plus, she’s…different. I didn’t know if her body would behave the same way.”

“How long will she sleep for?”

“Don’t know. Some of them sleep as long as twelve hours. She’ll wake up when she’s ready.”

Bill sat on the edge of the bed, cradling the sleeping baby. He watched Laura’s chest rise and fall with each breath, until he felt Cottle’s hand on his shoulder. “She’s fine. Let her rest.”

He reluctantly left the bedroom, following Cottle out into the main room.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about,” he said, fiddling with the still unlit cigarette that now looked almost broken in two. “You’ve got a healthy kid, and your wife did just fine. They don’t all turn out like that, you know.”

Ishay approached Bill, her hand reaching out to stroke the baby’s head. “She’ll sleep some. Laura will be awake long before she gets hungry, so don’t worry about that. I can come back up and assist her with nursing, if you’d like. Just call for me. I’m not an expert, but I nursed two of my own.”

Bill looked at the nurse in a new light. He prided himself on knowing the names of everyone under his command, but didn’t know all of their histories. He could only guess what happened to Ishay’s children, though his assumption would probably be correct. He nodded at her, and they shared a glance that only parents who have lost children could understand. She offered him a smile, which only became authentic once she looked at the baby.

“You be good for your dad,” she whispered.

“Thank you, Layne. For everything.”

“It was my pleasure.” She turned away, grabbing her bag and exiting the cabin.

“I’ll come back up tomorrow, check on them. You know where to find me in the meantime.” Cottle picked up his bag and left, and just like that, Bill was alone with his daughter.

He paced the cabin a few times, not knowing what to do with himself. Mother and daughter were sleeping, but he was so wired he wasn’t sure if he could sleep ever again. He had the urge to call Saul and Lee, but without phones, it wasn’t so easy to tell them the news. And he’d neglected to tell Cottle to send someone to inform them. He could send one of the guards, but they tried keeping personal business to a minimum with them. They had a job to do, and it did not include running errands.

So he wandered back into the bedroom, finding Laura in the exact same position she’d fallen asleep in. It was shocking to see her body just shut down the way it did. It made him sick to his stomach when his mind likened it to a machine powering down. He pushed the thought aside and moved to the bed, placing the baby on the mattress before climbing in next to Laura. He picked up the baby and cradled her, keeping a watchful eye on his wife.

*****

It was nearly sundown when Laura woke, her mind still hazy. She felt Bill beside her, and rolled over to face him. He was sitting up against the headboard, watching her with a smile. The baby in his arms focused her mind immediately and she shot up a little too quickly. The room spun around her.

“Whoa there.” Bill held an arm out to steady her. “Go easy, Laura.”

“How long was I asleep? Is she okay?”

“You slept the day away. She’s fine. Napped most of the time too.”

Laura looked relieved. She leaned against Bill, shifting most of her weight to her side. Sitting upright was going to be a challenge for the next few days, she thought. Considering the baby, she asked, “Do you think she’s hungry?”

“I don’t think so. She’d be awake if she was, I think.”

Laura frowned. “I don’t want her to wake up hungry.”

“You wanna try nursing her? Guess it can’t hurt.” He shifted the baby into her arms carefully.

She looked at the baby, her brows furrowed. “How do we wake her up?”

Bill pursed his lips, thinking. He leaned in and loosened the blanket around the baby. “I think if they get cold, they wake up.”

“I don’t want her to get cold!”

“She’s not going to die of hypothermia, Laura. Here, stroke her cheek.”

She did so, wondering when her maternal instincts would kick in. “I should know how to do this,” she said.

“Why? You have experience with babies?”

“Well, no. But she’s mine.”

“Unfortunately, that means nothing. We’ll get there.”

She wanted to kiss him for saying ‘we’, even though he was definitely the more experienced hand.

“See? She’s waking up.”

The baby’s eyes opened slowly, and Laura cuddled her closer. “Hi, sleepyhead.”

Bill reached over and helped her pull the top of her nightgown down, which Cottle had given her after helping her clean up.

Her breasts bare, her baby awake, Laura wondered what was next. She had read the chapters on nursing, but couldn’t quite recall the mechanics of it. At least, not the part about getting baby on the breast. She stopped Bill’s hand when he reached out.

“No, I need to do this,” she said.

It was unfair to resist his help, but it was all of a sudden vitally important that she figure this out on her own. She moved her daughter close, tickling the side of her mouth until she opened wide. Praying that she’d take initiative, Laura moved her as close as possible. When the baby finally latched on, relief flooded through her. It was short lived, however, when she realized she wasn’t suckling.

She turned to Bill. “She fell back to sleep.”

He smiled. “Well, at least we know she’s not hungry.”

She nodded with a frown. Bill sensed a bit of worry on her part and decided to change the subject.

“How are you feeling?”

Laura shrugged. “Okay.  You?”

“I’m fine. But I didn’t give birth today.”

She smiled. “True.”

“She needs a name, you know.”

“I know.”

“Any ideas?”

She thought for a long moment, studying the baby’s face. She ran through names of people she’d known, family members that she thought lost to her, but probably never really belonged to her anyway. She wanted something strong, something tangible.

 “Elosha,” she finally whispered, fingering the baby’s hand.

Bill tried hard not to have a physical response to the suggestion, but judging by the crestfallen look on his wife’s face, he failed. “I-I don’t know.”

“You don’t like it?”

“I…suppose I could get used to it.” Bill winced.

“Well, what do you suggest?”

The baby, who had woken up in the midst of this exchange, looked at him in a way that he swore meant, ‘ _Come up with something quick! Please_!’ “What about Aurora?”

“ _Aurora_?” This time it was Laura’s turn to look horrified.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s a lovely name. She’s the Goddess of the Dawn.”

“I know that, Bill.” And then Laura remembered the small icon of Aurora that Kara had given Bill for his ship. She sighed. “We could call her Rory,” she offered.

_Always good to have nicknames_ , Bill thought. It was his maternal grandmother who started calling him Bill, as a way to distinguish him from his grandfather and half-brother. Give him his own identity. She died when he was young, but his memories of her were full of happy times. He smiled.

“Ella.”

Laura looked at him. “What?”

“Ella. Short for Elosha.”

“Where did that come from?”

“Ella was my grandmother’s name. She was a good woman. She was beautiful.”

Laura looked down at the baby. “Ella Adama.” She tested the name on her tongue, liked the way it sounded. She smiled at Bill. “I like it.”

The baby tightened her grip on Laura’s hand, seemingly giving her approval of the name.         

*****

Laura sat on the bed, hours later, the baby still in her arms. Bill was sleeping deeply beside her, finally. He’d resisted the notion of sleep for hours after she’d woken up, but she could see exhaustion all over his face. She’d promised him she’d rest as well, even bringing the Artemis basket onto the bed for good measure. But she found she didn’t want to put Ella in there, not yet. She felt like she was waiting for something. Perhaps life with their daughter to really begin. But so far, the baby had spent the majority of the time napping, without even a soiled diaper for them to change. She also hadn’t eaten yet, although Laura had tried to get her to.

So she watched her daughter with a wary eye, like a bomb ticking the time down. Sooner or later, she’d get her fill of sleep and want to eat, and need to be cleaned and changed, and rocked…Until then, she waited anxiously.

*****

Unfortunately for Laura, the baby bomb went off not long after Bill had left for camp the next morning. They’d needed a few things, and although he was hesitant to leave them, she waved him away, lulled into a false state of calm by the baby’s seemingly endless sleep.

Ella woke up wailing, which Laura had feared would happen. She was hungry. But trying to nurse a crying baby for the first time was harder than getting the Quorum to agree on anything.

“Okay, okay.” Laura paced the length of the bedroom with the baby, holding her every way she could think of. Back patting, rocking, and bouncing also failed. She looked down at the crying baby. “If we try this again, are you gonna help me?”

She returned to the bed, maneuvering her blouse and bra out of the way. Laura didn’t think it was possible for the baby to cry any harder than she already was, but she was wrong. The moment she positioned the baby close to her breast, she began a high pitched wail the likes Laura had never heard before.

“What is the problem? It’s right here…” Laura wanted to cry right along with her.

*****

Bill could hear the baby screaming as he approached the cabin. He cursed himself for heading down to camp, even if they’d sorely needed the basket of food and extra blankets. He quickly bounded up the steps and into the cabin.

“Laura?” Dropping the basket and blankets by the door, Bill headed for the bedroom, where he encountered an utterly defeated Laura and a screaming Ella. “What happened??”

“She’s hungry,” Laura explained, pulling her blouse closed.

“Well, why don’t you feed her?” The second the words left his lips, Bill wished he could take them back.

“I’m trying to, Bill. Breastfeeding isn’t magic. The baby doesn’t just latch on and go to town, you know.”

“Okay, but you need to keep trying.” He indicated her closed blouse.

The look she gave him could have melted steel. “I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried everything. She doesn’t want it.”

“But she needs to eat, Laura.”

She closed her eyes, trying to shut out both her daughter’s wailing and her husband’s stupidity. She felt Bill take Ella from her, heard him trying to calm her, and opened her eyes. The baby was cradled against Bill’s chest, her tiny body shaking with the effort of crying. Laura’s heart broke for her daughter. She should be able to provide food for her child. “What if I can’t, Bill?”

Bill sighed, making small circles with his fingers on Ella’s back. “You can, Laura.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you gave birth to her. Your body gave her life; your body will help sustain that life.”

Laura nodded, undoing her blouse and gesturing for him to hand the baby to her. She placed Ella on her chest, skin to skin, and made shushing noises in her ear. Blocking everything out, even Bill, she focused on her daughter – the way her body shuddered as she cried, her warm breath against her neck. Eventually the sobs quieted to small whimpers, and Laura re-positioned the baby at her breast. “Come on, love. It’s right here. I’ll help you if you help me,” she whispered, tickling the baby’s lips with her nipple. “Please, Ella…”

 She’d never wanted anything as much as she wanted the baby to latch on. She needed to know she could do this, that  _they_  could do this. She held her breath as she watched the baby finally take what was being offered, but would not breathe a sigh of relief until she saw her begin to suckle. Once her tiny jaw started moving, Laura bit back a sob.

“Is she doing it?”

“I think so,” she answered, watching Ella’s cheek and jaw move rhythmically, her eyes closing as she suckled.

Bill leaned in and looked at her. “She looks pretty happy now.”

Laura smiled. “I’d say so.”

He slowly moved up on the bed to sit beside Laura, careful not to jostle mother or daughter. “What does it feel like?”

She shrugged. For all her focus on getting the baby to nurse, she hadn’t fully noticed what she was feeling. “It’s strange. But nice. Doesn’t hurt.”

“Well that’s good. Did she wake soon after I left?”

Laura nodded. “It was like she knew I was all alone.”

Bill frowned. “I’m sorry, Laura.”

“No, don’t be. We’re fine. Everything’s okay now.” Her head was down, watching the baby nurse. She looked up at Bill, her eyes full of tears. “Just a relief to know I can do this. I wasn’t sure…Caprica said she could, but I’m not quite like the others…”

Bill brushed away the one tear that escaped down her cheek. “I know. But you can. Look at her, Laura. She’s content now.”

“Yeah. We’re good now.”

“I got you something.”

Laura’s eyes lit up. “For me?”

“Yes. Just for you. For Ella too, but there’s one thing in my bag that’s all yours.”

“Can I see?”

He nodded, kissing her nose and climbing carefully off the bed.

Laura looked down at Ella, who had started to slow down her efforts. “You getting full already? Okay. Let’s keep you there though, just in case.”

Bill returned from the other room with one hand behind his back. “Are you ready?”

She nodded. “Do I have to close my eyes?”

“Not unless you want to.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Okay.” He stepped closer to her and pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal a big, shiny red apple.

Laura gasped. “Another apple?”

“Technically you have  _him_  to thank, I suppose. But I asked him for it. Told him it was a special occasion.”

She giggled. “The only person I’m going to thank is you.” She leaned forward, lips pursed in invitation.

He kissed her, placing the apple on the nightstand. “That’s all for you. None for the young lady here. She gets her own present.”

“Okay.” She leaned in to whisper to Ella. “Did you hear that? Daddy brought you something too.”

The baby, having abandoned the breast, stared at her mother with alert eyes. Laura propped her up in her arms.

Bill came back into the room pulling a decent sized crib. Laura’s mouth dropped. “How did you…”

He smiled, wiping his brow. “It’s a gift. Lee, your security team, even Saul got in on it. But don’t worry. Saul didn’t actually craft it.”

Once again, Laura’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s beautiful. Did they really make it for us?”

“Well, for Ella here.” Bill carefully took the baby from her arms, holding her with one hand while helping Laura up with the other. “Do you want to see?”

The crib was not as full sized as regular cribs, but still larger than a cradle. It would hold her until well into toddlerhood. Inside was a mattress, which Bill assured his wife had been thoroughly cleaned. He leaned down and placed the baby inside. “Now, you’re a little too small for this just yet. But look at what you have to look forward to.”

Ella kicked her legs, her arms moving with the motion.

“I think she likes it,” Bill said.

“Did you see Lee?”

“No, I didn’t. But I told Saul to send him up. That okay?”

“Of course.” Laura put her arm around him. “Is Saul coming to visit?”

“He said whenever we’re ready for him.”

She chuckled. “I don’t know if Ella will ever really be ready for that.”

“I don’t think he’ll bring Ellen.”

“Oh my Gods!”

“What?”

“I forgot to burp her!”

“Oh, that’s okay. She looks alright to me. Besides, burping is my job, isn’t it?” Bill reached in and picked her up, propping her up on his shoulder. “Did she even eat enough to burp?”

Laura shrugged. “She doesn’t look distressed or anything.”

“Have you checked her diaper?”

Laura frowned. “No…she woke up crying and I…”

“Food comes first. Let’s see, huh?” Bill took Ella over to the bed and unpinned her diaper. “Dry as a bone,” he pronounced, looking at his wife. “What? You look upset.”

“I’m not very good at this.”

“At what?”

“You know. Took me ages to figure out how to feed her, I forget to change her and burp her…”

“Laura, stop. She’s brand new. There’s a big learning curve here.”

“Not for you.”

“Yeah, but I’ve had two children.”

“You said you were barely around when the boys were babies.”

“True. I didn’t do a lot, but I did some.”

“You’re just so much more relaxed about all this than I am.”

“Because I’m old.”

“Stop it. You are not.”

“I am, Laura. You know that.”

“I am too. My body is younger, but my mind is the same as yours.”

Bill sighed, sitting down on the bed next to the baby. “I don’t know, Laura. Maybe it’s just the knowledge that I had two that grew up without any mishaps, or perhaps in spite of the mishaps. Maybe it’s a dad thing. Maybe you’ve got it right and I should worry more. But give yourself a break. You’re going to have so many feedings and diaper changes soon that it will become an endless routine. You won’t be able to forget if you try.”

“I know, but I guess I don’t feel too motherly yet.”

“Do you not love her yet?”

“No! I do.” She smiled at the baby, her eyes lighting up. “It’s the practical side of mothering I’m not feeling yet.”

“It comes, Laura. Believe me.”

“How do you know?”

“Because Carolanne was the most un-motherly person you could imagine. And she changed completely when Lee was born. You have that instinct to care for people, to guide them. That’s all you need.”

She offered him a gracious smile, stepping toward them and letting him put his arm around her. Together they watched their daughter wiggle her legs happily.

“You make pretty babies, Admiral.”

“As do you, Madame President.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ella meets some of her extended family.

Laura woke from her light slumber when Bill sat on the edge of the bed. She watched him for a moment through half-closed eyes as he took in their child sleeping beside her. She’d loved children all her life, but having one of her own was never something she felt she wanted. At least, not until this  _particular_  child.

“I know I woke you.” Bill’s quiet voice broke her train of thought.

Laura hummed in confirmation and opened her eyes completely, stretching as much as she could without jostling the baby.

“Why does she sleep like that?”

She couldn’t help but chuckle at his bewilderment. Frankly, their daughter’s choice of sleeping positions  _was_  odd.  With her arms and legs tucked under her, Ella looked like a frog when she napped.

“I think it’s cause she’s used to being in such a cramped space. She’ll stretch out. I hope.”

“Well, we don’t want her stretching out too much. What if she falls off the bed?”

“Bill, that’s not going to happen. Don’t be irrational.”

“Still, I think her crib is safer.”

Laura frowned. “We’ve had this discussion. She’s not even a week old. I don’t want her in there all by herself.”

“She won’t be.” He got up and walked to the small crib, reaching inside and pulling out a stuffed cat that had seen much better days.

She wrinkled her nose at the toy. “Do you have any idea how dirty that thing must be? She’s too young for toys anyway. Besides, it could fall over and smother her in her sleep.”

“Now who’s being irrational?” Bill tossed the toy back into the crib and returned to the bed.

“She’s so  _small_. I just think about all the things that could happen to her…”

“Nothing’s going to happen to her, Laura. She’s going to be just fine. Especially when she sleeps between us.”

Laura smiled at him, silently grateful for his concession to her need to have Ella close while they slept. She rose up and kissed him. “Don’t worry. It’ll just be for the first 5 years or so…”

A knock at the front door had Bill back on his feet. “I think that’ll be Saul.”

“Do I have any spit up on me?”

He shook his head as he walked to the door, opening it with a smile. “Saul.”

“Bill.” Saul returned the smile and the two men hugged. When they parted, he looked to Laura, who had followed Bill out of the bedroom and was getting comfortable on the sofa, Ella in her basket beside her. “Laura.”

“Hi Saul.”

“Is it a good time?”

“Of course it is,” Bill replied. “Everyone’s just had a nap.”

“Ah,” Saul stepped toward the basket on the couch next to Laura and peeked inside. “Well hello there. I’m your Uncle Saul.” He looked to Laura. “You mind if I hold her?”

Laura’s mouth opened in surprise. “Oh…no. Of course not. Do you need me to…”

“Nope, we’ve got it, don’t we?” He reached in and picked up the baby expertly.

Laura eyed Bill and he shrugged.

“Now, what do you think of all this so far? There’s a lot to take in, isn’t there?” Saul babbled to the baby for several minutes, until she began to fuss in his arms.

“Oh, I think she needs to be changed.” Laura stood and moved to take the baby from him, but he resisted.

“No, no. You just sit down. Uncle Saul can handle it.”

Laura pulled her hands back and clenched her fists. “Oh. Okay.”

Moving back to the couch, she handed him everything he’d need to change her, and she and Bill stood back and watched as he quickly changed the baby’s diaper without missing a step. Ella was completely fascinated by this new person, and watched him intently throughout the process.

“There. All done.” Saul picked up the newly clean baby and looked at Bill and Laura. At their puzzled expressions, he asked, “What?”

“I didn’t know you were so good with children, Saul,” Bill replied.

“Oh, sure.” Looking down at the baby, he said, “We get along just fine, don’t we?”

Ella gummed her fist in response.

“Well, I guess we’ve just lined up our first babysitter,” Bill said.

Laura choked on her water.

*****

_The next day_

Laura placed Ella in her basket on the bed and turned to Bill. “Can you poke your head out and call Sullivan?”

Bill nodded and did as she asked.  She sat on the bed and waited, watching her daughter. Only a few days old, and she couldn’t imagine life without her. So far, Ella was a good baby, though she had two parents with nothing to do but dote on her. As Bill joked the night before, they never gave her a chance to get fussy about anything.

Voices in the other room made her sit up, and she called her guard into the bedroom. He entered cautiously, as if he didn’t want to disturb.

“Hi.” She greeted him with a smile.

“Ma’am.”

“I wanted to thank you for the crib.” She gestured to the piece of furniture that stood not far from where he was. “Can you pass along my gratitude to the team?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Laura caught his eye shifting from her to the basket beside her. She beckoned him closer. “You want to meet her?”

He nodded, approaching the bed and peeking into the basket. Ella was wide awake, and he stood close enough to get her attention.

“Sullivan, this is Ella. Ella, Sullivan.”

“Hi there, little lady.” A soft smile spread across his face as he gazed at the baby.

Something in his smile signaled to Laura. “Do you want to hold her?”

He looked shocked for a moment. “Uh….yes, ma’am. I would.”

Before she could help him lift the baby out of the basket, he reached in and scooped her up. She watched him hold her, his arms snuggling her with a familiarity that seemed bittersweet. She knew in that moment that he had lost a child. She didn’t need to see the tears in his eyes or hear the slight crack in his voice as he whispered to Ella. She just knew.

A knock on the doorframe startled them both.

“Laura, Lee is here,” Bill said.

Sullivan handed Ella back to Laura with a smile. As he turned to leave, he stopped. “I just want you to know, ma’am, that we will always keep her safe, just as we do you.”

She bit her lip. “Thank you.”

Following him out of the bedroom, she watched him leave as Lee greeted his father with a hug.

Her eyes locked with his as the two men embraced, and he grinned.

“Is this my little sister?” Letting go of Bill, he approached Laura, his gaze never leaving the baby in her arms. Her tiny hands were curled against her chest and he reached out to trace her thumb. “Wow.”

“Do you want to hold her?”

Lee looked unsure, but reached out anyway, and she transferred Ella into his arms awkwardly. Reminding him to support her head, she guided him to the couch to sit.

“You’re right, Dad. She does look like Zak.”

Bill sat down next to his son and opened the large scrapbook Lee had brought with him. He flipped through pages and pages of old photographs, searching for one in particular. Laura moved to crouch beside him.

“You’re very lucky to have this. Both of you.”

Bill gave her a soft smile, noting her wistful expression. He could do nothing for the loss she’d suffered, the family she probably never even had. All he could do was be present for her in this life, and provide her with her very own loving family.

“Ah, here it is,” he proclaimed, turning to one of the last pages.

Laura gasped. “You weren’t kidding. She does look like Zak.”

Bill ran his hand over the photo of his youngest son, taken shortly after his birth. “Yes, she does.”

Laura reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze.

*****

Later that evening, Laura settled Ella in her basket on the bed beside Bill, carefully tucking a blanket around her.

“Sleeping?” Bill whispered.

Laura nodded, maneuvering herself into a good position against his chest, her legs stretched out between his.

“Was a good visit,” he said.

She smiled. He always said that when Lee stopped by. “I think he likes his little sister.”

“Me too.” He sighed, his breath stirring her hair. His arms tightened around her. “I’m happy, Laura.”

“Me too.” The words came out before she’d thought about them, but she realized it was true. She was happy. There were some things about herself that she could never change, but as the days passed, she found they mattered less and less. What truly mattered was right beside her – her family. She had a husband, and a daughter. She had a future, which would never have been possible if it weren’t for what she was.

“I’m so glad, Laura.” His voice cracked as he spoke, his hand reaching down to lift her face to his. They kissed, their daughter sleeping soundly beside them.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of this series entry, but there are smaller one-shots that take place after this story.


End file.
